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Vengeful Elegance Vice Captain
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 Posted: Sun Jun 28, 2009 3:27 am
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Posted: Wed Aug 05, 2009 2:50 am
So there is this Captain and his ship is being attacked by a rival ship.
He shouts to his first mate "Bring me my red shirt!" The first mate quickly brings the captain his red shirt.
The battle goes very well. They didn't loose any men and they even managed to raid the rival ship and steal some treasure. The first mate asks the captain, "Why did you ask for a red shirt?"
"Because I didn't want the crew to notice if I was wounded. I wanted them to fight on without being worried about me."
Suddenly the man in the crow's nest shouts, "Captain there are 20 rival ships approaching!"
The captain looks at his first mate and says, "Bring me my brown pants."
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Vengeful Elegance Vice Captain
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Vengeful Elegance Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 4:29 am
How do you know if a blond is having a bad day?
There is a tampon behind her ear and she can't find her pencil.
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Posted: Sun Dec 27, 2009 10:13 pm
wow. if i could only think of one...
wait!
2 people walk in to a bar, the third one ducks.
2 ducks walk in to a bar, the third one peoples.
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Posted: Sun Dec 27, 2009 11:05 pm
What's the easiest way to drown a blond?
Put a mirror in the bottom of a pool.
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Posted: Sun Dec 27, 2009 11:19 pm
How did the blond die raking leaves?
She fell out of the tree.
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Posted: Thu Dec 31, 2009 9:11 am
Blonde at a fooball game
A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game.
She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand."
"What did you not understand ?"
And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"
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Posted: Thu Dec 31, 2009 4:02 pm
lmao, I love how this just turned into like, a blond joke thread.
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Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2010 3:26 am
Chuck Norris time biggrin
President Truman dropped the A bomb on Hiroshima because the alternative of sending in Chuck norris was deemed "Inhumane"
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
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Posted: Mon Mar 08, 2010 3:15 pm
Here's one you kinda need to be an art major to get:
"Why's the Surrealist cross the road?"
"Apple."
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Vengeful Elegance Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue Mar 09, 2010 12:34 am
Stuffy Panda Chuck Norris time biggrin President Truman dropped the A bomb on Hiroshima because the alternative of sending in Chuck norris was deemed "Inhumane" Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement. Chuck Norris doesn't read, he stares the books down until he gets the information that he wants.
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Posted: Tue Mar 09, 2010 12:56 pm
Vengeful Elegance Stuffy Panda Chuck Norris time biggrin President Truman dropped the A bomb on Hiroshima because the alternative of sending in Chuck norris was deemed "Inhumane" Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement. Chuck Norris doesn't read, he stares the books down until he gets the information that he wants. What do you do when you see a Spaceman? Park in it,Man
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Posted: Fri Mar 12, 2010 9:57 am
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
Clarence Darrow
Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex.
Bill Maher
To be a successful father there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years.
Ernest Hemingway
The trouble with children is that they're not returnable.
Quentin Crisp
There are only two things a child will share willingly -- communicable diseases and his mother's age.
Benjamin Spock
I love children, especially when they cry, for then someone takes them away.
Nancy Mitford
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