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 Posted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 1:23 pm
 The entries for the Coffee and Tea Mansicle Event 8D
All entries will be anonymous and you may post any APPROPRIATE (e.g., don't be a douche bag) comments about the entries in this thread.
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Posted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 1:28 pm
ENTRY #1 Mr. Earl Grey’s Adventures.
"Sexy. Definitely Sexy with more man-power than any one fangirl could handle."
- Miss Taku, editor for Bish-O-weekly.
Winner of seventeen Academy Awards, including Hottest Man Alive, Fabio McBish (nickname competitor for the Face of Hotness) stars in this award winning movie. A masterful atmospheric Film LeFangirle piece that will have you trapped with its complex and rivetting storyline. With gritty, hard-core performances (including an Fangirl Heart winning turn by Alex Hotpants) and a climax that will leave you reaching for your arm-rest.
Held in the backstreets of a rundown China-town, now owned by the Italian mafia, this tragic-rip-roaringly fast action packed love story holds nothing back! When Alexander Black (Fabio) is contacted by the daunting face of his dead lover (Angela Keys) from beyond the grave he is sent on a trip of revenge and protection to win over the mysterious Count Vischotte (Alex) From riding an enchanted hog to busting up the lab of Das Shadow's drug dealing Russian flouzy, this film will keep you locked in. After some red tape, Fabio decides to take down the agents of Das Shadow before the bomb explodes and all of New York is taken down to hell.
"I loved it. The twists were so unexpected... McBish was terrific! And the chemistry was unbelievable!"
-C. Fangirlle
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Posted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 1:31 pm
ENTRY #2 On a day like any other day, a tape arrived in the mail for the elusive Mr. Grey, but before he had a chance to view it, it was stolen by his competitor.The only thing Mr. Grey knows about his competitor is his nickname, that he is the mysterious Coffee. On his quest to reclaim the tape, he runs into various villians, including the maniacal Mr. Hog. Who will discover the secrets of the tape, and reach the hidden Lab revealed by it first?
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Posted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 1:32 pm
ENTRY #3 The infamous Mr.Earl Gray is at it again! This time earning a new nickname for himself as "The Hog of Tape" when he goes undercover at a duct tape plant to discover what makes their tape so sticky for a competitor.
While searching through the plant for their well hidden duct tape lab Mr.Earl Gray must always be on guard for the secret of the tape is a precious thing!
Can he discover their secret before it's too late? Will he manage to help the competitor develop the ultimate duct tape? Find out more in the addition of Mr. Earl Grey’s Adventures: The Hog of Tape.
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Posted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 1:33 pm
ENTRY #4 He was the most feared competitor in the rodeo, even the horses didn't want to be paired with him! He had tapes upon tapes of all of his wins and none of his losses. Why? Because he had none.
For months, he had no challenges until one day the boss called and said they had a new horse for him to tame. Taking the challenge head on, he went to the ring the next day to come face to face with the largest, meanest horse of his life. They called her, "Hog".
Bucking and throwing him around like a rag-doll, he tries to hang on but to no avail. Before he knows it, Hog kicks right through the door of the ring with him in toe – literally. She runs and doesn't stop until she comes to grassy plains, where she nips him off.
Who knew, this horse could talk! She tells him her story, about how she got her horrid nickname and how she overheard them talking about sending her to the lab to genetically clone her. Now, the two are on the run from these crazed scientists, but will they make it? Or will Hog be cloned and killed? Who knows ...
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Posted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 1:33 pm
ENTRY #5 To become a competitor is to become one with your inner self.
In this fantastic film 'Mr. Earl Grey's Adventures' you will never be able to put the words tape, lab and hog together again in the same way. As a young college student starting to get his act together for his career in the near future, Earl Grey had one little problem that seemed to always follow him around no matter where he went. He didn't notice that his walk was always off. Other people had a nickname for it, it was being oblivious to the fact that he has an odd walk about him. While it was never shown within the chemistry lab that he usually frequented, the young man always disbelieved his friends when they told him about it. Onward he went, becoming a loner and a hog of the large desks in his other classes, always deciding against listening to his friends or anyone around him, talk about his so called posture and walking position. One had even tried to hand him some tape and told him it would be of good use...probably not.
Its been over a month since those accusations have been thrown out about Grey's 'walking problem' and he has heard almost nothing from anyone. Wondering exactly why, he started to become more observant of his surroundings than before. Of course, since the talk had died down, he seemed to think it was because of the fact that he had ignored them this whole time. What happened finally, one day while he was walking down the sidewalk, keeping his attention to himself mostly, he thought he heard someone call his name. Looking up, he turned to see a young girl that was his partner from one of his many classes approach him, look down and point before saying those few simple words.
“Haven't you noticed that you have been putting two left shoes on this whole time?”
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Posted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 1:35 pm
ENTRY #6 Done as if the leading man tells his life story to a personal tape recorder, we are drawn into his world, a world where magic mixes in a tea cup. Mr. Earl Grey’s Adventures, (staring Dean Gray), is the story of Mr. Earl Grey, the British English owner of the ‘Happy Birthday Tea Shop’ of Peeking, China. With each customer, he tells a story about his life, and the customer in turn, experiences the same story in their own lives.
One man, a lab assistant, finds himself dragged into a drug war where his own boss is the manufacturer. A young, spoiled, attention hogging little girl finds herself in the middle of a family feud, fighting to find out where she belongs, and if she belongs at all. A street rat nicknamed ‘Scraps’ finds himself solving a crime committed by his childhood friend, who is also his half brother. And a broken politician finds himself falling in love with his competitor’s wife, who loves another man.
Meanwhile, a war is taking place outside of Peeking, from mystery invaders that calls themselves ‘The Queen’s Cards’. A child of the war, Alice Blue, falls in Earl’s care, and as he spins the story of his life, Alice must live it. Who really is Mr. Earl Grey, and is he really just a tea owner, or is he really something more?
A dark fantasy for adults, and winner of several international awards, Mr. Earl Grey’s Adventures, is a timeless classic, guaranteed to bring tears to your eyes, or your money back!
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Posted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 1:39 pm
ENTRY #7 Mr. Early Grey's Adventures
Under the guise of a local librarian, Mr. Earl Grey hides a double-life with seeming ease. By day, he is a pleasant face at the Oakland County Library, polite and helpful, with a subtle charm that earned him the nickname ‘Sexy Hunk Hunka’. By night, he is the sexual deviant, ravaging countless bodies with his prowess and manly attachments! With his captives hog-tied, and Karma Sutra at the ready, he delights in spending numerous hours between their legs. At twilight many a competitor attempt to be the one to finally top him, but with tape in hand, he closes their insubordinate mouths and shows them the true power of man! Clad in a far from innocuous lab coat (and nothing else), he ravages his ukes until the break of dawn. Even the powerful seme is no match for him, for he is ‘Sexy Hunk Hunka’, the greatest sexual voyeur the likes of Oakland County has ever seen.
The threat of more pleasure to come keeps his victims quiet, but how long can he keep his true nature hidden? Will he ever find love when he cannot keep out of so many bodies? Finally, will he ever be topped? In this thrilling sexual adventure, the mysteries of the body and human heart will unfold as we follow the life of Mr. Earl Grey and his thrilling sexual escapades.
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Posted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 1:40 pm
ENTRY #8 Following the break of a high-security prison, Mr. Earl Grey's Adventures tell the story of a man falsely accused and on the run from the law. With a nickname like 'Cross' one would expect a glory loving, bible totting church boy to run the show but instead a smooth talking, cool-cat with a tongue like barbed wire takes center stage. Dragged into many strange circumstances while uncovering unsolved mysterious in his race against time to clear his name - Cross unintentionally leads the cops to an underground lab where a mountain of corpses reveals the whereabouts of the city's most sought after serial killer. Using the scene as a decoy, Cross barely escaped capture to head into the city where he's confronted by old running buddies. Talked into a 'friendly' game of poker he learns all too late that his competitor just so happens to be a man from his past. This doesn't bode well when fists, bullets and heated words get to flying but thankfully the cops were there to bust the casino for trafficking, prostitution and drug laundering. Once again Cross is on the run slipping into the crowd during the commotion, his next objective: ...to clear his name. As the s**t hits the fan and cops go hog wild in their pursuit for justice; a tape showing Cross' innocence suddenly surfaces at the doorstep of a low-end reporter. With this information the cards could very well be in her hands - too bad she wasn't counting on Cross showing up at her home and with looks that could kill she's hard pressed to cut a deal or risk losing herself to the smooth talker. Time is of the essence in this high octane race! Who will win?
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Posted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 1:41 pm
ENTRY #9
"Get ready to completely lose yourself. No, literately." -some random snobby film critic
"Two thumbs way, WAY down! But... it's worth it for the strip club scene!" -another random and not-so-snobby film critic
Mr. Earl Grey’s Adventures--- Imagine waking up not knowing who or where you are; and your only hint to rectifying this is a folded note held to your chest with a simple piece of scotch tape.
"Welcome Competitor! You have been selected to participate in a
world-wide speed hunt... for yourself. Your starting point is in England,
giving you the nickname 'Earl Grey' (until you manage to recover
your own of course!). We're all watching and rooting for you!
Good luck!"
In this all-new action-comedy, written by people you have never heard of and starring actors no one will ever see again; join Mr. Earl Grey and an assorted cast of kooky characters on a world-wide hunt for an identity... and all the chaotic adventures that ensue. From the Tower of London to a German fertility lab to a Greek strip club to the Pyramids at Giza; you never know where the riddles left for Mr. Earl Grey may take him next!
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Posted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 1:42 pm
ENTRY #10 The streets are deserted. A heavy musky scent fills the air, swirling around and around and causing a tumultuous descent of dust. It settles, leaving the shadowy forms of one single man visible against the sunset. Tall, muscular, blond and sexy, the infamous Mr. Earl Grey is back with this thrilling sequel to Mr. Earl Grey's Evil Alphabet Sing-Along. His arch nemesis, the epic heroine Ms. Chamomile is back with more salvation than ever, trying to save the world one cup at a time! And this time she's not alone. The dreaded competitor of Saturday Sales, and shopping expert, whose nickname is Hog, is with her and he has no intention of letting Earl Grey get away with paying five dollars for a Polo ever again! Without his keen sense of fashion, Mr. Earl Grey can only be weakened. And a weak Villain can’t conquer anything! So, down in his Teapot Lab, Mr. Earl Grey desperately tries to come up with the perfect plan of revenge for his enemies. But can one blackmail tape and a falsified Certificate of Destruction do him any good against the powers of Ms. Chamomile and her holy bargain army?
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Posted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 1:44 pm
ENTRY #11 Dr. Howard Silvermann is not your average sexy lab assistant! Mild-mannered genetic scientist by day, he has a dark secret - by night, he's a mild mannered gay porn star!
Under the nickname Mr Earl Grey, watch him beguile, bait and betray his way to the top! So named for his innate hotness and "great, old fashioned taste", a competitor in the 'biz' soon has it out for him - Daddy Hog! This obese example of arrogance sees in Mr Earl Grey everything he always wanted; money, men and mastery of sexual techniques!
When Daddy Hog sends in a tape featuring our hero, several kosher meat products and piercings EVERYWHERE, to GeneModCo., it threatens to bring Dr Silvermann's career crashing down around his sexually charged ears! Can his attractive alter ego seduce Daddy Hog into helping him? Or will our hero have to retire to the somewhat shady night, earning his money the way he knows best!?
Subterfuge! Science! Sex! Synagogues!? It's all here in MR EARL GREY'S ADVENTURES
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Posted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 1:45 pm
ENTRY #12 Struggling American scientist Shade O. Grey (Brad Pitt) hears that he has inherited a castle in England! Old uncle Addington (Alan Rickman) has left him the lands, fortune, and title, all he has to do is sign papers that he won’t move out. Boyfriend Long Wang (Jet Li) said he would leave Shade for someone with money, but now there are no competitors. Who could say no to an Earl? Shade and Long head to England to play “come into my castle” and Shade can do all the “experimentation” he wants with his new funding. At first everything is great, a dream come true, except that the butler only serves sausage for breakfast. But the dream soon becomes a NIGHTMARE!
It begins with the butler sneaking into their room, and he takes off everything but the gloves! Are those hooves the butler is hiding? Then a little dungeon play turns dark when Long disappears into the bowels of the castle. A secret tape! Shade learns too late how “Mad Addingon” earned the nickname when he discovers records of his funny uncle’s research. Vivisection, human animal hybrids, is that a pig farm or a harem in the dungeons?! Can he find the hidden lab in time to save Long? Or will he and his lover be porked?
Don’t miss the spectacle! The leather, the chains, the gore, the HOG MAN, the Adventures of Mr. Earl Grey!
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Posted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 1:47 pm
ENTRY #13 Mr. Earl Grey~
iBrew Lab studios, the creators of such favorites as “Swashbuckler Sunday” and “Orange Crème”, brings you another instant classic! Mr. Earl Grey! Mr. Grey, a dashing, middle-aged British bachelor, has lived his life under the shadow of his beverage namesake. Plagued by prank callers, misdirected mail, a blackmail tape and all manner of malice, Earl lives his life in fear of the next moment of mockery. However, when a charming, but hapless young lad appears on his doorstep, everything is about to change! Coming from America’s deep south, the dashing fellow - who goes only by the nickname “Lymon” - has mistaken - through a series of hilarious errors - that Earl is the creator of his favorite tastebud-tingling brew, and thus, his idol!
Watch, in this stunning Fifth Anniversary Edition as Mr. Earl Grey is taken in by such fervent adoration and quickly becomes entangled in one falsehood after another! Desperate to remain a hero, but terrified that Lymon will learn the truth, Earl has to face his greatest competitor, his own tasty namesake, before he loses the young man’s confidence (and affections) forever! In this heartwarming tale of love versus luncheon, Earl and Lymon will learn that life isn’t all about what you brew after all.
Beautifully remastered and including such hits as “Ode to a Saucer” and “Tell me it’s Teatime”, you’ll want to hog this masterpiece all to yourself! Don’t miss a minute of this rollicking tale of comedy and woe! You'll laugh! You'll cry! You just might facepalm*! Add Mr. Earl Grey to your home library today!
*iBrew Lab studios takes no responsibility for the damage that may occur due to repeated, self-inflicted slaps to the face.
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Posted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 1:47 pm
ENTRY #14 Mr. Earl Grey's Adventures
Proffesor Earl Grey(D. Vladimir) was done with his last semester of teaching lab. IF he had known that opening the brown package that he recieved that day would change his life, perhaps he would not have opened it. Inside was a simple, unmarked video tape and a gold medalion. As the tape played, he was surprised to see his long time advisary and competitor, Delilah Vain(Chrystali). A tape that told the tale of a mysterious lost city in the mountains of the far east.
A quick flight, on a cheap airline, and Grey finds himself in the rural outlands of China, searching for a civilization lost to the history books hundreds of years ago. It will take everything he knows of archeology and mythology to find the clues left behind in some odd places.Finding himself in a hot situation when he has to escape from the very people that captured Delilah threw a bathouse, saved by a young man that seems only to want to help. Meeting up with a dangerous damsel, who's nickname, white scorpion, may be more than just about the stylised tribal tattoo on her thigh. Suffering threw bumbeling law enforcement that can barely seem to handle stumbeling into the middle of everything.
In the end, will he survive to find a city thought lost to the sands of time, or will he find the same end as the advisary who led him on this wild adventure? What is this budding relationship between him and the American?Will he ever solve the mystery of the ledgend of the lost city he searches for?
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