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 Posted: Sat Jun 20, 2009 9:32 pm
This is what I think about relationships. Anyone younger than twenty shouldn't have one because chances are they haven't reached a proper level of maturity to sustain such a relationship. Also only the tiniest amount of people below this age have a rock solid definition of true love, or plain love for that matter. I thought I did... and I thought wrong. One last thing, when approaching someone you wish to be in a relationship with be blunt, straightforward, and honest. You cannot force someone to love you, if you get turned down, please, don't keep pursuing them. You might tell yourself that it is a charming, perhaps even gallant thing to stick close and wait for the person to love you back, but its not. Its a lie to yourself, and to everyone else. There are no storybook endings, no perfect couples, no love at first sight. It all a lie that will drag you deeper and deeper into it's darkness, and when the tiniest ray of hope shines through... it will stab you right in the heart. When you watch your own heart shatter, you realize that it wasn't the other person's fault, it was your's. You destroyed your own hopes and dreams, your own world. When you watch your own heart shatter, only the strong survive... only the strong.
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Posted: Mon Jun 22, 2009 5:56 pm
I'm strong. I'll survive. I'm more mature, so I feel that I am ready to have at least a few flings, only thing is: there isn't anyone in my area who is ready for even that! They are so immature, I sometimes think if I'm the one who is screwed up (for being to "younger than I appear in personality" as many "grown-ups" tell me).
I really agree with a lot of this. I even know a guy who is totally in love with my best friend, and she's been totally honest by telling him outright: I DON'T LOVE YOU. Now he won't leave her alone and keeps showing her his love while trying to stay friends, but he tells everyone that he'll never stop loving her. It's CREEPY!!!! He's on the point of obsession- watching her when she sleeps and stuff (from inside the house, not the window).
Either way, for me this is no debate. It's fact, it's life, anyone who disagrees with it must live a very charmed life and better enjoy it while they still can.
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Posted: Tue Jun 23, 2009 7:14 am
Well its best to get the word out to as many as possible, I have had to learn this lesson the hard way, and it is not a path you want to travel. Never let your emotions overcast your judgement, and always place the other person before what you want. It sounds like this guy is being rather selfish, if he really, truely loved her, then he would let her go.
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Posted: Tue Jun 23, 2009 5:07 pm
Some things you have to learn first hand. No amount of warnings can stop it. Heartbreak, I think, is one of those things.
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Posted: Tue Jun 23, 2009 7:55 pm
Well heartbreak is something I never want to feel again, I'm not sure I could survive it once more. If you ever find someone who is to blinded by love to see what they are doing you must try and show them the truth before it is too late! It is not right, that shattering feeling, not at all right, and not everyone can take the horrible agony therin.
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Posted: Sun Jun 28, 2009 4:50 pm
That advice I'll take. I've tried saving my friends from the awful shattering, but they can be stubborn. Now, she is simply stuck in a love triangle.
All these comments are true and well advised, however.
As for you, time will heal the pieces back together, but they may not fit quite right in the end. Hope you find peace with the inner demons of the heart.
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Posted: Sun Jun 28, 2009 6:20 pm
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Posted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 1:28 pm
I have rather mixed feelings on this topic. There are people who are mature enough to handle a "more than a fling" relationship who are younger than twenty. At the same time, there are a ton of people over twenty who are still too selfish/childish to be in a strong relationship. Relationships are touchy subjects. Lasting relationships form when a multitude of things come together.
The people in a relationship should never have the relationship just to feel like they are loved. Relationships are going to require sacrifices. It is important to remember that couples have lives outside of each other, so space is a necessity. I have often found in my own relationship that the time we spend apart really makes us value the time we have together. It's a give and take thing, and it can't be based on just one person. The people in the relationship have to have enough self confidence so that they are strong just in case anything happens in the relationship. They have to have their own identity and not try to derive that identity from their partner. There are so many other things that go into relationships that it is extremely difficult to be able to list them all.
As for you, Shallarinath, ATW is correct in saying that time will heal the pain you feel. However, love is more than worth the heartbreaks it takes to find it. The heartbreaks hurt more than any physical thing in the world, but that joy that comes from love is one of the few things that can mend just about all broken things. I strongly believe in the old saying, "It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all."
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Posted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 8:24 pm
I was with you right up until that last paragraph. No offense, hun, but I don't think such a love is commonly found. Over 60% of marriages fail within the first ten years. It's out there I suppose, but unless there is some God out there for you, I wouldn't count on finding it. It's not worth it, all the heartbreak. But on second thought, it wouldn't hurt so much if it hadn't meant SOMETHING. I still think love is a joke. Only fools will laugh about it though.
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Posted: Sat Jul 18, 2009 7:19 pm
I never said it was commonly found. God isn't just out there, either. He's within each and every one of us and of we actually slowed down and listened, we will hear his voice. I have found on several different occasions and with multiple people that the closer the couple becomes with God, the closer they become with each other. I think the major reasons so many marriages fail within such a short period of time is because 1) one/both persons are too selfish/unwilling to make sacrifices that they fall apart and 2) the couple does has not based their relationship with each other on their relationship with God. I strongly disagree with you when you say love is a joke. It's a real emotion and it is the most powerful and wonderful thing we as humans can feel, whether we give it or receive it.
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Posted: Sat Jul 18, 2009 9:59 pm
On god I will never agree with you, nor will I discuss my beliefs. As for love, well... my opinions on that vary remarkable with how I am feeling. However, I am confidant in saying it is a joke, for it can just as easily turn to hate, break a person into pieces, and cause havoc among humans. I don't romantize love, I look it dead in the face and see it for what it is, dangerous. It can be a wonderful, magical thing, but it can be just as deceiving, just as much a traitor as a friend.
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Posted: Sun Jul 26, 2009 7:59 pm
Love is Life, and to Live is to Love. If you Live without Love then you life is nothing; if you Love without having Lived then your love is worthless. These things are one in the same, for they cannot stand alone. Both are as a double edged blade, you may get cut, but if you play it safe then you will never know the beauty of battle, the simple satisfaction to be had in the heft and balance of the weapon. There will never be a greater passion when the sword swings true, and no greater sorrow when it stabs the one who wields it.
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Posted: Thu Aug 13, 2009 3:34 am
ATW may not discuss her beliefs, but I'm going to.
I'm a spiritual person--I've more or less invented my own sort of ideology out of a slew of other religious concepts. Most strongly, I believe in fate, karma, and choice.
Let me explain: I think fate is set, not in stone, but in...water, if you will. It's a road map in my mind. We will be presented with certain choices, and making one choice or another will lead us down a certain path that will lead us to more choices that will lead us to more paths, ad infinitum. Some of these paths intersect, others will never meet again, and still others are simply dead ends. We can't turn around on this map; all we can do is charge blindly forward and hope that in the end, we've made the right decision. Therefore, fate and choice.
Because I also believe in karma and rebirth, I think the choices we make in one life will affect the next. And the encounters we find on the fate roadmap can help us negate that karma until we reach, ultimately, a place of bliss where we can finally rest.
What all this has to do with this thread is simple: make the right choices. Of course, we can't know for certain what these are, but as idealistic as it may be, I think we can find them if we live a life that is true to ourselves. Making these choices will eventually lead us to a place where we can be happy--a place where love does happen.
I think the reason love is rare is because there is an increasingly rare number of believers; the rest of society seems to believe too strongly. Only a small margin of the human race has a balanced concept of love and what it should be, a fact that really makes it hard for the rest of us. That doesn't, however, mean love is impossible or even unlikely. It just needs the right series of choices to make it happen, and bring two people together as they are meant to be. Like I said, I believe in past lives. I believe that, if there is such a thing as soulmates, then those two will always find each other.
Lastly, I think the worst thing young people could do is to stop experimenting with relationships (preferrably emotionally; though it can hurt more, at least it won't leave you with an extra mouth to feed). The most maturing experience I've ever had was when I was fifteen and had to go through an incredibly difficult relationship. Without that valuable experience of having loved and lost, or whatever you'd like to call it (at fifteen, I know it was hardly anything that resembled love) I certainly wouldn't be the person I am today. We all have our heads in the clouds when we're young. Rough relationships sober us up and help us to understand what we really want out of love. If we wait until we're 20 to date, all that will happen is that 25 year olds will be as immature as those experimenting 15 year olds of the world.
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Posted: Thu Aug 13, 2009 8:30 am
I'm a very opinianated person. I'm also open-minded. And I can honestly say that Creator of Destruction has a good belief system going here. I believe in choice, a little in fate, and a lot in karma.
I also agree that people need to have experience when they are younger, that way they know what to expect, what to hope for, and what to look for when they get older. Example: If you date jerks as a teenager, and you figure out, "hey, i don't like jerks" you can see those certain qualities in a person when you're older and know it's not a good idea to date them.
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