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 Posted: Sat May 23, 2009 6:01 am
Hey this is my first story that i have ever stuck with and so i really need reviews. All of the characters are based of my best friends and our favorite bands. I owe alot of success to my co-writer for making me continue on but I do the same to her. I hope you like it and please leave reviews. None of the e-mail addresses are real and sorry for any spelling errors my spelling is entierly atrousious.
I woke up but unlike any other morning I felt a little queasy and had a little headache. I went downstairs and told my mom I was sick but I knew i wasn't. My mom called the school and then left for work. As soon as my mom was out the door I ran upstairs and got ready. I did my hair and got on the cutest cloths I owned. My best friend Dakota came over in her red convertible with our other best friends Gina and Tessa. I hoped in and we went on our way to the Rascal Flatt's goodbye concert. We were all the hugest Rascal Flatt's fans possible and so we all found a way to skip school so we can go to their final concert.
During the car ride we all talked about what we would do if we actually met the band members of Rascal Flats . At the time that was just a huge fantasy but now I know that a wish could go quite far sometimes. When we got to the concert we went straight to our seats so nobody caught us skipping school.
After the concert we all went down to get a souvenir and on the way a guy that we've all seen on T.V. gave us back stage passes and a chance to meet all of the band members and spend the day with them. Suddenly we were in the room with Gary,Jay, and Joe. They said that they didn' t have time to spend the day with us so they said that they would just give us lots of money and a streach limousine so we could go anywhere we want to and buy anything we want to and they would have dinner with us later that night. We all went to our favorite stores and shopped our little hearts out. We awaited dinner time with great excitement and when it was finally there we could barley contain our excitement.
At dinner time we met up with the Rascals(out nickname for the band) and ate. The entire time we were eating at least 2 of the 7of us were laughing. After dessert was eaten and the bill was paid(courtesy of the Rascals) Jay offered for us to hang out with them next time they were in town. When we, still utterly shocked, asked why he simply responded "because your cool." We all exchanged phone numbers and hung out a little while longer. Gary asked if we could sing. Tess and me perfectly harmonized said Gina & Dakota can. So the Rascals literally made them sing. The Rascals thought they were awesome and offered to try and get both of them a record deal. Then Joe asked if Tess and me were good at anything. I answered acting automatically and Tess answered drawing. Jay said they would see what they could do to help us out.
Saturday morning when i woke up there were 2 messages on my cell phone machine. One from Dakota the other, to my surprise, the Rascals. The one from Dakota was a bunch of screaming and comprehensible babble. So before I listened to the other message I called her. She was still very excited so it took about a half hour to get the gist of the information. When I got off the phone my stomach was in such a knot I could barley hold my fingers steady enough to get the next message playing. When I finally got the other message playing I was screaming as loud as Dakota had been. The Rascals had gotten me an audition for a permanent part on my favorite T.V. show A Rainbow and A Life. My dad came up to see why I was screaming. I was so excited I couldn't talk so i just played the message for him. He said "Good for you now get your but down stairs." My mom was appropriately happy and we sat screaming until I got a call from Tess. She was excited because her favorite artist called her and she was given the chance to put one piece of her art in his "Art Show On The Road." She had accepted and called to spread her good news and cancel our weekend plans. Soon after me and Tess hung up Jay called to see if I got the good news and then we made lunch plans for the next week.
When Gina found out me and Jay had lunch plans she threw a humongous fit because Jay was her favorite. In her fit she used her 2-way calling to call him and see if it was true. He denied it but soon after we all hung up he called and said we were still on but if any of the guys found out he favored any of the 4 of us he'd never hear the end of it. I called Gina back and said it was a huge joke. When I told Dakota the good news she, instead of throwing a fit, teased me about how now we are going to have to get married. Then she said that I could give up my acting dream because I could become famous without it. I told her that was ridiculous and that I was going to act no matter what happened. Then I warned her that if she told Gina or Tess she'd never live to find out if I did get married.
She said fine but she was going to call her boyfriend and possibly fiancée, Gabe, and tell him because this was huge. I hated Gabe with all my guts so I told her if she told him she would never live to find out if i killed her. She said fine but also said that she can't keep a secret from Gabe that long for her life. I said she could tell him if he promised not to tell anyone and that she warned him if anyone finds out he won't live to see another day.
I went to meet Jay at 7:00 pm the next Saturday for dinner. We talked long after the food was gone and just sat at the restaurant talking. Once the subject of what his friends Gary and Joe think hes doing he looked depressed. I asked him what was wrong he said that the guys think he is with his girlfriend/fiancée. I asked him why he looked so sad that I brought it up and he said "My girlfriend and I broke up yesterday." After that me and him just sat there in an awkward silence and stared at the floor. Suddenly he said
"do you want to know why we broke up?"
"Only if you want to talk about it." I quietly responded.
"Tina and I were going to get married 5 years ago but we decided to wait until my career was over."
"So what happened" I urged quietly captivated by the story.
" Well, as I traveled we both grew apart slowly." he continued very sadly. "When we came back to our home town for our final concert I went home for a surprise visit and another man was there. She swore that nothing happened that he was just helping her with work. She was always a terrible liar."he continued warily. I was utterly shocked he could be sitting here telling this story so calmly and he didn't even look that sad.
"So what you haven't told Gary and Joe that you guy's broke up or what?" I asked.
" No" he said " Well I started to and then they asked me what I was doing today and I Coward out and lied." he said with a look of great ashame on his face.
"You should tell them, you know that right" I said.
His only response after over 5 minutes was " I know" then he said nothing else.
Suddenly he started to laugh and not a little giggle like I heard him do the day before but a full out loud, laugh. I begged him to tell me why he was laughing but he couldn't talk at all. When he finally regained his posture he said "You may think I've gone crazy when I say this but I'm not really that sad that we broke up I feel like all of this stuff happened for a reason." the only thing i could think of to say was
"What stuff?"
"Don't you see" he said
" First me and my girlfriend and me break up and then the band meets you and you're friends and of course all of you guys are awesome." he continued to make the list of events.
Then he said something that shocked me to the point that I could have died right then and I wouldn't have noticed. He said loud and clear" And after all of the drama I met you " then he leaned over and kissed me on the lips.
Later that night I was laying in my bed thinking about something he said while I was hypmatized into oblivion and he said it again many times that night. It took me by surprise, we were walking through the park after dinner and he suddenly said "I Love You" I was so shocked I could barley say it back to him but I eventually stuttered it out. He repeated it so many times that night that I lost track but then we made a deal to only tell one person each that we were dating. I ,of coarse, decided to tell Dakota but first I have to tell you what happened that night.
We went to the park so nobody would be staring at us ,or at least not as much as any where else because it was 9:00 pm so nobody was really there. Then after walking around and making senseless talk we started to talk about us and what we were going to do. We both admitted that we liked each other to much and there was no way we could just be friends so we decided to date. We also came to the conclusion that if any of our friends found out it would be a possible fate we would die if of humiliation because we have weird friends (and the fact the Rascals didn't know about the break-up yet.) That was when we decided we could tell one person each and that we should meet at the same restaurant as tonight and have another...meeting at 7:00 o'clock sharp Friday night. Then he dropped me off at my place so I could sleep because we have an audition tomorrow(yes I said we)for my favorite show A Rainbow and A Life. So thats how i ended up here lying in my bed and all I can think about is my audition with Jay tomorrow and a song called Tiny Dancer by Elton John and how I couldn't remember the word's.
The next morning when I called Dakota to tell her my huge news she answered the phone sobbing. I immediately asked her what was wrong and she went into full story mode. The first time she said it, it sounded like her mother died of oblivion. I urged her to tell it again but slowly and more calmly. After she told me I was only replaying the conversation in my head all good news forgotten. I honestly wasn't surprised but it almost relived me. Dakota told me of the weirdest conversation she had with Gabe it went a little like this.
"Why in the world are you following me,Gabe."
His only response was "I'm following my heart"
"Well then what does your heart say" she said.
"I have absolutely no idea what my heart says because you stole it and now i don't have one" he responded simply.
"Great how long till you die" she sarcastically mumbled.
"I don't know you stole my brain too."
"No i didn't then i would be as much of an idiot as you" she replied.
"Then give it back."
"Do YOU seriously have ME confused with Tessa."
Then came the part with the dead mother of oblivion, well actually Gabe was killed and by this she meant. Tessa. Gabe started to follow her around to see what Dakota meant and Tessa killed him because she thought he was a stalker. There for she was blaming herself for his death especially because he had proposed to her only hours before.
After this whole speech I got from Dakota I told her all of my good news but I was hardly excited anymore. No matter how much it would have pleased me to be the one to kill Gabe ,and believe me I would have, I hated seeing Dakota hurt.
Later that day at the audition I had to act very happy and it probably could have killed me if it weren't for the fact that Jay weaseled his way in and got us the kissing scene for the auditions so we got to freely "practice" kissing during the two hour wait. On the forth "practice" he asked me what was wrong and when I told him he actually looked sorry. Then suddenly he smiled a very big mischievous smile that told me he had a bright idea. When I asked him what it was he said that he had a plan but wouldn't tell me because he knew I would tell Dakota.
After the audition he was on the phone and I heard the words David Cook being thrown around. When he asked me what Dakota's e-mail address was I started to get very suspicious. Finally I got him to crack and he said he was going to arrange his friend David Cook to meet Dakota because David was currently single and he knew he was Dakota's favorite singer besides for them. I was honestly and completely surprised but couldn't deny that that was a brilliant plan. So I promised him that I would only tell Dakota that when she gets an IM from cookie01@yahoo.com she had to respond and try to get to know that person. She was slightly suspicious but she couldn't deny my beg for her to try and do it.
I called only a week later and Dakota immediately told me that she was going to meet with cookie01@yahoo.com on Friday at seven o'clock at the same restaurant as me and Jay. I suddenly yelped "NO," I could hardly contain myself,"NO, NO, NO! No way No how. Not there, not then." She questioned me quickly and at first I tried to hide it them I remembered that she already knew we were dating so I said quite quickly that I would call her back and then hung up.
The next morning me and Dakota went shopping to find what to wear on our newly planned -double- date. Even though Dakota still had no idea at all who
cookie01@yahoo.com was I did and so I got to, for the most part, pick out her entire outfit. There is no reason for me to stop being a fashion lover when I probably will become famous.
Me and Jay beat Dakota to the restaurant and that made it much easier so we could just call the two the table. Soon after Dakota arrived David walked in and when we called him over she began hyperventilating. The night was long and interesting but phyco for me to even to try explain. The moment me and Jay slipped away to take a little walk he told me the good news. To everyone else on the street I probably looked really weird but Jay was just as excited. Me and Jay had gotten the part and for the worlds best powers our parts on the show were dating each other and we were the ones that had to kiss constantly. When we got back to the restaurant David was up on stage starting his first hit single and dedicating it to Dakota it went a little like this-
We were as one babe
For a moment in time
And it seemed everlasting
That you would always be mine
Now you want to be free
So I'm letting you fly
Cause I know in my heart babe
Our love will never die
No!
You'll always be a part of me
I'm a part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
I ain't gonna cry no
And I won't beg you to stay
If you're determined to leave girl
I will not stand in your way
But inevitably you'll be back again
Cause ya know in your heart babe
Our love will never end no
You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
I know that you'll be back girl
When your days and your nights get a little bit colder oooohhh
I know that, you'll be right back, babe
Ooooh! baby believe me it's only a matter of time
You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my my baby....
You'll always be a part of me (you will always be)
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on (we will linger on....)
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
Always be my baby
I could hardly believe that he was really doing this especially in a public place where there were so many people. Jay looked more like he was enjoying every second of it and for a moment he looked like he was going to join in and sing to me.
At the very second that he started to go and sit down by Dakota and me Gina and Tessa waltzed right in like they were going to attack us for lying. I glanced at Jay and quickly ran to the bathroom so that I could hide. Jay knew to call me when they left.
Later that night Jay and I were talking about what happened after I decided that it was time to run out the window. As soon as I scurried out Gina walked in checking the bathroom because she was still suspicious of me and Jay. He called me as soon as she came out because he wanted to know how I had gotten away from Gina.
The entire time after I left Jay had been bombarded with questions about: Why Dakota was here? How he knew that Gabe had died? And most importantly Where was I because they thought that they saw me.
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Posted: Sat May 23, 2009 9:30 am
HAHA! Rascal Flatt's , I was listening to a tribute band for them last night! Anyway I haven't finished reading this yet, but I can see some errors here and there. A big thing though, are you sure this piece belongs in the archives? If it is not an outdated piece of junk that you'll never touch again then it belongs in the chamber of lore. If you need it moved then send the word and I'll do it post haste!
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Posted: Mon May 25, 2009 2:12 pm
Hun, I'm sorry to tell you this, but, you were rambling. sweatdrop It didn't sound true at all, just like a big interesting girly story. (I gave up at David Cook.) I would go back and try to make it sound more like a book rather than a person talking. A good way to do that would be to write in third person and describe the interaction between the famous people and the teenage girls. For example, instead of saying, "The entire time we were eating at least 2 of the 7of us were laughing," try giving examples of the jokes they told and stories about themselves. Make us love the characters, then have the characters love each other. SHOW not TELL. -ATW
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Posted: Wed May 27, 2009 1:53 pm
thank u so much i know it sounds like im rambling because i usually am when i write i write what i think then go back and re-write it to sound good and i didnt choose david cook my friend did because i already had the flatts her favorite band and i will re-write this sooner or later but i am so busy right now i dont know when i will
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Posted: Thu Jun 11, 2009 10:13 am
A_Trying_Writer Hun, I'm sorry to tell you this, but, you were rambling. sweatdrop It didn't sound true at all, just like a big interesting girly story. (I gave up at David Cook.) I would go back and try to make it sound more like a book rather than a person talking. A good way to do that would be to write in third person and describe the interaction between the famous people and the teenage girls. For example, instead of saying, "The entire time we were eating at least 2 of the 7of us were laughing," try giving examples of the jokes they told and stories about themselves. Make us love the characters, then have the characters love each other. SHOW not TELL. -ATW i agree. it needs some work. but still a good start. try not to say 'i went downstairs. my mom went to work. then i got dressed.' be more detailed smile
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