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 Posted: Mon May 18, 2009 3:17 pm
Dreaming of our kiss
Aching for your touch
It doesn’t take much
For me to feel absolute bliss
I want to hold you
I want to kiss you
I want to be with you
All night long
Whenever I am close to you
My heart skips a beat
Every time we touch
I am forced to take a seat
Your sensuous touch
Satisfies all my needs
I just want to be with you
Until the world spins out
written December '07
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Posted: Mon May 18, 2009 4:52 pm
That was a very nice poem! Don't forget to post comments on at least two other entries in this subforum.
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Posted: Tue May 19, 2009 1:25 pm
Nice job. It reminds me of the way I feel about my love. It was a very nice read. (:
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Posted: Wed May 20, 2009 5:57 am
I love it that you don't have a set number of lines in a stanza! The poem is good, although I haven't yet managed to fall in love. I imagine it to be kind of like that. 3nodding
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Posted: Fri Jul 17, 2009 6:23 pm
that was really good! i havent fallen in love yet but i hope its like that! GOOD JOB
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Posted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 7:27 am
It's a little too mushy for me personally;but that doesn't take away the fact that it's good writing.
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Posted: Tue Jul 28, 2009 10:05 am
To me, there isn't really anything to make this stand out from any other love poem -- it's cute, and it's sweet, but it doesn't really have that extra oomph that makes it stand out from the crowd.
Also, in the third stanza, it feels in some places like you were too caught up with the rhyme -- "Every time we touch/I am forced to take a seat" sounds a little forced to me.
Keep it up, though, I'd like to see more from you. (:
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