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Declaration of Liberty

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Shallarinath
Captain

PostPosted: Fri May 15, 2009 3:22 pm


Andrew Davis
Miss Smith
Enriched Language Arts 10/ period 3
24, November, 2008

Declaration of Liberty

When freedom is denied to a sentient being, even when freedom has not previously been known, revolutionary circumstances are destined to occur. So it is we, human beings who, having been denied our freedom and having attempted peaceful ulterior motives to achieve what we desire, lead our revolution onto the doorstep of those who have for so long oppressed us.

We see with crystalline clarity the various ways in which we have been mistreated. We acknowledge that our liberty has been infringed on multiple accounts, and we seek rectification for the injustices that have been rendered unto us. Thus we have composed a list of our grievances that there can be no misunderstanding as to the cause of our rebellion.

We have abided by their rules, accepted their dominion, and tolerated their harsh and irrational punitive measures.

We are persecuted when expressing affection for others, when jesting amongst ourselves within the halls, and when assembling together in large numbers.

We have been segregated, athlete from intellectual and idiot from genius.

We have been abused, working like slaves until our very hearts and minds threaten to rip asunder from the terrible pressure that is exerted upon us.

We are judged without trial or jury, sentenced without having committed any crime, and jailed without remorse.

We are being told what to wear, our dress is becoming limited, and our acceptable wardrobe is dwindling continuously.

It is for these purposes that we rebel against our oppressors and choose to peaceably leave the administration that has brought about our discontent. We do this out of a wish to establish just laws, peaceful environments, and lead our own lives. With the support of these purposes, the hearts and minds of all free peoples, and our own determination we the students of Cuyahoga Falls High School do so sign this declaration and declare ourselves liberated!  
PostPosted: Sat May 16, 2009 8:35 pm


Oooo, very nice. Again, I am not very knowledgable of American History or Literature for that matter, but this is a very nice declaration of your own. Have you ever thought in getting into politics?

Teruma Mitsune
Crew


Shallarinath
Captain

PostPosted: Sun May 17, 2009 9:53 am


Oh God! Not politics! I suppose I'm like Thomas Jefferson, i'm not active in politics, but if something needs to be written then I'm your man!  
PostPosted: Mon May 18, 2009 8:36 am


Wow, you could develope that into a science fiction book using the declaration and rebellion as a means of portraying the war between two factions.

Dawns first Light


Shallarinath
Captain

PostPosted: Mon May 18, 2009 9:18 am


Very true! I'll take that into consideration next time I'm brainstorming.  
PostPosted: Mon May 18, 2009 2:00 pm


The writing is very good. Your sentence fluency is supreme, and your word choice conveys your intelligence (and/or your strategic use of a thesaurus wink ) However, I think the ideas being conveyed here are a bit on the extreme side. The PDA rule is in place to prevent excessive advances or crude displays in public. Segregation is everywhere; it is one of the most common aspects of human nature. School work will never end until you get out of college, and there aren't very many jobs that don't require take-home work. Nearly everybody judges other people before anyone knows who those people are like, and to take care of that would be much more oppressive than the issue itself. The way I see it, it is only oppressive if your way of thinking allows it to be oppressive. Dress code is a way to...how should I say it...limit possible distractions in the classroom as well as provide for a more professional public view of the school itself.

Some of the issues are more of a state-of-mind issue, and some things will never be resolved. Others--like the dress code thing--can be compromised with school officials if approached in a professional manner. For example, my school never used to allow nose piercings. But the student body assembled a petition and presented it to the principal, who did some thinking and after a time, relented as long as the piercings were small and not distracting. Of course, this piece was written as an English writing, so it might have no significance outside of its genre. But I just felt like I should point those things out. It is an extremely well written piece, and you do kind of remind me of Jefferson. Keep up the superb writing.

shnarf9892


Shallarinath
Captain

PostPosted: Mon May 18, 2009 2:11 pm


Well now that it has been established that I am the reincarnation of Thomas Jefferson I would like to state that not all of the sides posed in some of my writings here are the sides I would have taken if given the choice, but I have to make due with what is assigned to me, so I guess I did pretty good!  
PostPosted: Mon May 25, 2009 7:40 pm


I would like to state, that even though this is a fake constitution, school rules are there to eliminate distractions where concentration is required, keep order and peace among the grounds, and establish power over the young minds which are apt to become corrupt with too much leeway. (See shnarf9892 for similar, more detailed arguments.)
Good writing though!
By the way: I might remind you that Thomas Jefferson was in fact our 3rd president, perhaps he didn't really care for politics, but he was a part of it none the less.
--ATW

DreamingRoses1224
Crew


Shallarinath
Captain

PostPosted: Tue May 26, 2009 2:16 pm


I know all about school rules and what they are there for, but in our school we have a power hungry head pricipal who doesn't follow here own dress code! Honestly we can see why the other schools canned her.  
PostPosted: Wed May 27, 2009 10:37 am


Extreme? Only a little in my opinion, but then, I have never been a part of a public school system and may wear my pajamas, which consist of comfy shorts and an oversized t-shirt, while I do my math. I sympathize with the dress code limitations, but I don't like getting flashed because someone leans forward either.
All in all though, I like it. It voices with intelligence the opinions held by many.

Santinka
Crew

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The Chamber of Lore

 
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