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Love Letter Part 2, Peppermints

I never did burn that letter. God, I wanted to but…I couldn’t bring myself to do it. In the weeks since I wrote it, I’ve avoided him. Every time a rehearsal ended I would dash to the bathroom, only to return when it was time to go home. When we drove somewhere I was always the first out of the car. I even made sure that I went to bed either earlier or later than him to make sure that we were never alone.

Every one noticed it. Never before had I treated Jonghyun that way. Taemin was in a constant state of disarray at the abnormally strained tension on our dorm. Jinki was almost always yelling at me; he said that I needed to stop being so immature. Minho…knew. He had always been the most perceptive in the group and, after a while, he began sneaking up behind me to whisper soft commands in my ear. Always the same. “Just tell him.”

But the worst part was seeing the devastated looks on Jonghyun’s face. With every harsh word I spoke, his face seemed to darken. With every aversion of my eyes, his shoulders dropped. And then, when he finally had enough, we fought.

For the first time in our long friendship we actually yelled at each other. He struck me with an aggravated “What the hell is wrong with you?” And I countered with a fierce “It’s none of your business.”

And then he pushes me. In front of our brothers he pushes me to the ground before deftly disappearing into our bedroom.

Taemin falls to the floor with me when I make no effort to stand and I nod my head when he asks if I’m okay, but it’s a lie. I’m so, so far from okay.

I can faintly hear crashing sounds coming from our bedroom but I choose to ignore them. Instead, I stare up at the ceiling and notice a hole, high on the wall that I need to fix; probably the result of Taemin and Minho’s latest wrestling match. It would just take a little spackle and I’ll be done.

And then, as I’m trying to recall where I last placed my tools I have a sickening realization.

My tool box is placed under my bunk, but my thoughts had drifted upwards. To what was on top of my bed. Hidden behind my pillows was the letter; my love letter.

With a sudden gasp I pull myself from Taemin’s grasp and leap to my feet. I hadn’t even noticed that the loud banging from our room had silenced and that causes me to panic even more.

Without a backwards glance I dive towards our room, praying that my suspicions aren’t true. But of course, they are. When I crash into out doorframe and push myself into the room he’s already sitting on Jinki’s bed, my letter in his hands.

“Give that to me!” I yell and rush forward to make a desperate grab for the paper; he merely leans back and avoids my outstretched claws.

“Kibum…” He then whispers, his voice quivering with too many emotions for me to comprehend.

“It’s not what it- I mean- Just give me the damn letter, Jonghyun!” I yell and, again I dive for him. This time when he moves out of my reach, I slip. I feel myself pitch towards the hard wood floor of our room but I don’t feel the impact. Instead, I feel two strong arms grasping my torso; protecting me.

“Kibum…” He again whispers. Then I looked up, my eyes already brimming with tears. What I see there isn’t a surprise; he’s crying. I’m staring at my reason for not telling him my secret. He’s disgusted with me, he hates me; I just know it.

“I’m sorry!” I cry and move myself to kneel between his legs. I clench my hands into fists around his shirt and try to control the sobs threatening to spill out of my trembling mouth. “I can’t help it, Jonghyun! I didn’t choose this; it’s just the way I am. I’m sorry! I know you hate me. Please forgive me.”

“What?” He then yells and drops my letter. He quickly moves his hands to cup my tearstained face and force my gaze to meet his. “Don’t you dare, ever say that again.”

“I won’t, I’m sorry. I’ll try to hide it. I swear I won’t let this affect our relationship.” I sob and nod my head, vigorously.

“Not that you fool!” He snaps and pulls my head into his chest. “Don’t you ever, ever say that I hate you, again. I could never, ever hate you!”

And then his hands release my face. For a brief moment I think that he’s going to walk away and then I feel his hands, roughly pulling me up to sit on the bed next to him.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He then asks as he desperately wipes the many tears from my face.

“I was afraid y-you’d hate me.” I reply and try to stifle the sobs that are wracking my thin frame.

“You’re such a fool.” He whispers and then he leans closer to me. My brain clouds over as my senses are overwhelmed with the scent of peppermints. My hands, that had never left their place on his shirt, begin to shake at an alarming rate. And then he kisses me.

Ever so softly his lips meet mine. I feel his hands wind their way around the back of my head as his mouth trails a path down my neck but my brain is too confused to form a coherent thought process.

“As if I could ever hate you.” He whispers and returns to an upright position. “As if I could ever hate the boy I’ve loved since the moment I set my eyes on him.”

And then everything becomes shockingly clear. Everything in my life makes sense. I finally understand the strange relationship that we’ve shared over the years. I finally get why he’s always clung to me, and why I’ve always clung to him. My eyes fill with tears of regret. I wish that I had realized how I felt sooner and just told him. I had wasted so much precious time.

“I’m sorry.” I whisper and duck my head in shame; my emotions are still too scattered to fully understand what just happened.

“Stop apologizing.” He laughs and wraps his arms around my shaking shoulders. He pulls me with him as he crawls into my bunk and then he wraps a bare forearm around my waist. “You’ve just made me the happiest man alive.” And then he kisses me. And then he kisses me again. And again and again and again and it’s just me and him and me and so much of him. And that wonderful scent of peppermints that cloud my senses and block out almost everything else so I can barely think straight anymore. God I just love him so much that I feel as if my heart’s going to burst out of my chest. I think he feels it to because one of his hands wanders down from my hair to rest peacefully against my chest. He has my heart in the palm of his hand.

At one point I hear someone shut the door and I assume its Minho. That damn boy is too perceptive but I can’t bring myself to be angry; I’ll probably thank him for it later anyway. No, I’m definitely not angry because contrary to Jonghyun’s belief. I am the happiest man alive.




Also, anyone else think that Jonghyun could smell like peppermints? Y/N?