I'd like any criticism about this poem thing I wrote ^^ I just recently started making poems and I tried rhyming.. It may not make much sense, but It conveys alot of things going on in my life and stuffs. Thanks~
Sorrow
I look at him, he looks away.
I don't have much to say,
But I embrase myself for that day.
When things will get sad and grey.
I tell myself to look on the bright side.
But how am I supposed to confide,
in myself when life is a bumpy ride?
The ocean will always have a tide,
such as life has many things to hide.
What happens when there is no light,
when someone so close can't hold you tight?
Then tell you everything will be all right,
even though there had been a fight.
How do people manage to survive,
no matter what happens they will thrive,
but they always try to deprive,
even if they are not truely alive.
I sometimes feel hollow,
to the point I can hardly swallow.
People choose to wallow
in their own self pitty and be come shallow.
I love people I can't obtain,
no matter where they live I'd take a train.
I also love the rain,
and how peaceful it sounds when I'm in pain.
I try to act like I'm fine,
when everything has hit the last line.
Bad things happen almost equivelant to columbine,
I look at the clock and it's two oh nine.
A few people have come into my life,
some of them told me of their ideal wife.
People live their lives with Strife,
then turn to the butchers knife.
This was created in the dark,
not a cafe, store, or park.
In the bible they use the word hark,
too bad I'm not as noble to build such an ark.
Currently I feel sorrow,
hopefully it's gone tomorrow,
For the day comes when I'll have to borrow,
The happiness of a small sparrow.
I look at him, he looks away.
I don't have much to say,
But I embrase myself for that day.
When things will get sad and grey.
I tell myself to look on the bright side.
But how am I supposed to confide,
in myself when life is a bumpy ride?
The ocean will always have a tide,
such as life has many things to hide.
What happens when there is no light,
when someone so close can't hold you tight?
Then tell you everything will be all right,
even though there had been a fight.
How do people manage to survive,
no matter what happens they will thrive,
but they always try to deprive,
even if they are not truely alive.
I sometimes feel hollow,
to the point I can hardly swallow.
People choose to wallow
in their own self pitty and be come shallow.
I love people I can't obtain,
no matter where they live I'd take a train.
I also love the rain,
and how peaceful it sounds when I'm in pain.
I try to act like I'm fine,
when everything has hit the last line.
Bad things happen almost equivelant to columbine,
I look at the clock and it's two oh nine.
A few people have come into my life,
some of them told me of their ideal wife.
People live their lives with Strife,
then turn to the butchers knife.
This was created in the dark,
not a cafe, store, or park.
In the bible they use the word hark,
too bad I'm not as noble to build such an ark.
Currently I feel sorrow,
hopefully it's gone tomorrow,
For the day comes when I'll have to borrow,
The happiness of a small sparrow.
