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Fox it hurrrrtttsss it hurrrrtttts make the pain stop!

-cries insanely- My eyes, my eyes! I shalt ban thee for this abomination!

(J/K about the banning, this is really funny, but way too painful I was three lines in and had to stop for my sanity).

Punk my friend...

That was priceless!

... you'd better post or have posted the real version here for any and all to find if they like.

Eh, what the hell? This is a excerpt from a story I did a while back.

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MOMENTS L8R DONOVAN CH3W3D ON A HANDFUL OF SALTAD PEANUTS WHIEL WOKNG DOWN DA ONA WAY STRET NEXT 2 DA BUILDNG WHERE HE HAD JUST MAT AYLA!!1111 WTF LOL LOKNG BAK IN DA DIERCTION HE HAD JUST COMA FROM HE WOND3RAD IF MAYB HE SHUD GO BAK AND TAL AYLA WUT H3R FREIND WAS MIEXD UP IN!!11!!1!1 WTF LOL H3 DIDN’T HAEV TIEM 2 WONDAR HOW THES PARTICULAR HUMAN WHO WAS APAERNTLEY IGNORANT 2 DA 3XISTANCA OF CREATURAS LIEK HIM WUD TAEK DA RAVELATION WHEN HIS LIGHTNNG REFLAXES RAACT3D 2 DA BLUNT OBJECT TAHT WAS BNG SWUNG AT HIS FAEC AFT3R A FAST-MOVNG ASALEANT LEAPT FROM BHIND A PARKED SUV IN AN MBUSH!!1111!1!

BFORE HIS PAANUTS HIT TEH CONCRATE DONOVAN BLOKAD TEH SHAFT OF DA WAAPON WIT HIS FOREARM AND PULED DA SLEDGAHMMAR FROM SASHA’S HANDS!!!1! HE VIOLANTLEY SHOVED HAR IN2 DA SIED OF HER PARKAD CAR AND RASE3D DA OBJ3CT ONLEY 2 LOWER IT WHEN HE SAW WHO H3 WAS DEALNG WITH.!11!1!!!!1 OMG LOL

“GOD DMMIT”!1!!11! WTF HA CURSAD AT TEH GIRL WIT FANGS BAERD OUT OF NATURAL REACTION!1!!1 OMG WTF SI UR PROBLEM”?????!!11 WTF HA CHASTIESD WHIEL THROWNG DA WEAPON ASIED!!1!1! OMG LOL WUT WARE U DONG TOKNG 2 MAH ROMAET”????!??? OMG WTF LOL SASHA ASKED HAAETDLEY

DONOVAN!11!!!! CUD SE TAHT SHE WAS REACHNG BHIND HARS3LF AS IF FOR A WEAPON!!!!1111! OMG LOL “CALM DOWN”!!!1!11 OMG WTF LOL HE HELD OUT A HAND AND 2K A STAP BAK!11!1!1!1 OMG LOL “I WAS HOPNG 2 CATCH UP WIT U ACTUALY!!!!!!1! OMG IT’S AXACTLEY THES KIND OF BULSHIT TAHT’S GONG 2 GET U KILED”!!1!11!!! WTF

SASHA LET HAR HAND FAL AWAY FROM WUT SHA WAS REACHNG FOR BUT K3PT A STELEY GAEZ LOKED ON TEH VMPIER STANDNG A F3W SHORT FET AWAY!1!!!1!1 OMG LOL SA R3LAEXD ONLEY SLIGHTLEY WHEN SHA NOTIECD HIS FANGS HAD RACED3D!!!!1! OMG WTF LOL Y SI UR NOSE BLEDNG”?!!?!!!?! LOL DONOVAN RASE3D AN 3YEBROW!!1!11!! OMG “I DIDN’T HIT U IN TEH FAEC…”

SH3 DIDN’T R3ALIEZ IT UNTIL HA SADE SOMETHNG!1!!!!!1 OMG WTF “IT’S NOTHNG” SASHA LEID WHIEL WIPNG HAR NOSA WIT DA SLEVE OF HER LEATHAR JAKET!!!11! LOL WUT DO U WANT”?!?!!? LOL

“WHERE’S OX”????!?? LOL Y DO U CAER”?!??!??? OMG LOL SHA ASK3D WHIEL MAKNG A QUIK MOVA FOR TEH HMMAR SH3 HAD BAN DISARMAD OF!11!!!1 LOL AVEN AFT3R SACURNG IT SHE CONTINUAD KEPNG HAR DISTANCE AND NOTIECD DONOVAN MAKNG NO SUDEN THR3AETNNG MOVES 2WARDS H3R

“ABOUT!1!!!111! LOL HIM?!??!!?! OMG LOL I DON’T!11!!11!! OMG LOL HE’S A PEICE OF s**t!!!!111 LOL U HAEV 2 KNOW TAHT WUT U DONG SI V3RY DANGAROS THOUGH”!1!!!!1 WTF

“TAHT ISN’T SOMETHNG U NED 2 WORY ABOUT”!!!1! OMG SHE CLARIFEID!!!1!!! WTF “I KNOW WUT I’M DONG”!!!!111! OMG WTF

“DO U??!??!!!? B/C WORD SI ALMOST EV3RY VMPIER WHO HAS ANY KIND OF CLOUT IN THES CITY HAS THERE SOLDEIRS OUT LOKNG FOR DALIA”!!1!1!1!! OMG WTF H3 REVAAELD!111!!11 OMG WTF “IT WON’T TAEK THAM LONG 2 FIND U IF U KEP UP WIT THES KINDA STUF” H3 MOTIONED 2 DA SLEDG3HMMER TAHT SH3 HELD!1!111 WTF LOL

SASHA SIMPLEY KEPT QUEIT AND LIST3N3D

“I!1!1!!! DON’T KNOW WUT U AFT3R BUT I’V3 BEN IN THES CITY LONG ENOUGH 2 SE TAHT PEOPLA WHO PIS OF VMPIERS LAT ALONE TEH IMPORTANT ON3S TEND NOT 2 LAST VERY LONG OR DEI ESPACIALY PLEASANT DAATHS!!11!! OMG LOL TAEK MAH ADVIEC AND G3T OUT WHIEL U STIL CAN!!!1!!11 OMG GODNIGHT”!!!!!! OMG

DONOVAN TURNED AND WOKAD AWAY BUT GLANCED BAK OVAR HIS SHUD3R WH3N SASHA CM3 RUNNG BHIND HIM!1!!!1 OMG LOL

“WATE HOLD ON”!111!! LOL SHE CALAD OUT

DONOVAN S2PED BUT DIDN’T TURN AROUND!!11!1 WUT???!??!!! OMG WTF U B3N IN THES CITY A LONG TIEM RIGHT”

“SINC3????? OMG 1924” HE START3D JUST BFOR3 TURNNG 2 FAEC HER!1!!!!11 OMG “WH-”

HE DIDN’T SE TEH SLEDGEHMM3R COMNG TAHT TIEM!!11!11 OMG

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pretty epic.

I decided to try it. The results are .... LOL OMG WTF?!!!! worthy *giggles*

the original:

The Hallowe’en Night - October 1994
The chill stare of the jack-o-lanterns
Starts my heart thumping.
The damp shadows that my flashlight
Can’t ward off,
And the tall, dark houses staring
Sends a longing to weep through me.
I wish for the sparkle of the sun on the lake,
And my friends’ laughter
To comfort me.
But there is only the full moon
Behind the barren trees,
Looming up beside me
And the echoing sound of wind
Waiting for me.
A slithery chill runs up my spine
As footsteps appear behind me.
And there is nothing to do but wait,
As the footsteps draw near.

the translation:

DA HALOW3’EN NIGHT - OC2BR 194
TH3 CHIL R OF DA JAK-O-LANTARNS
STARTS MAH HEART THUMPNG
THE!111!! WTF LOL DMP SHADOWS TAHT MAH FLASHLIGHT
CAN’T WARD OF
AND TEH TAL DARK HOUESS STARNG
S3NDS A LONGNG 2 WEP THROUGH ME
I!!111 WTF WISH FOR TEH SPARKLE OF DA SUN ON DA LAEK
AND MAH FREINDS’ LAUGHTAR
2 COMFORT ME
BUT!1!1!!1 WTF LOL THEYRE SI ONLEY DA FUL MON
BHIND DA BAR3N TRES
LOMNG UP BSIED M3
AND TEH 3CHONG SOUND OF WIND
WATENG FOR ME
A!1!!!1 WTF LOL SLITH3RY CHIL RUNS UP MAH SPIEN
AS FOTST3PS APAAR BHIND M3
AND!1!!111!1 OMG THEYRE SI NOTHNG 2 DO BUT WATE
AS DA FOTSTEPS DRAW NEAR
!!1!1 OMG WTF LOL