Mel's Journal

[Mel56789]

So, a journal. I've been having some issues lately. I was recently diagnosed with depression and I'm trying cymbalta to see if it helps. If it doesn't, I'm going to end up trying a bunch of different medications until one works. The problem right now is that the cymbalta cuts my appetite to the extreme. I get light-headed from not eating anything all day. I've been working on making sure I at least have three meals a day, though, because it seems to be helping me feel better. Today's probably going to be a pretty good day because I don't have school. I'm on home instruction, which is where a teacher comes to my house 4 days a week. Usually I have Friday's off but my teacher's busy today so I have today off instead. Tomorrow should be good too. My best friend moved five and a half hours away a few months ago and she's coming over and spending the night. I can't wait! It'll be the first time I've seen her since she moved and she was the one I used to talk to about everything that's going on with me. We were just getting to be really good friends when she moved, so it'll be completely awesome to see her again. We still talk but the phone isn't as good as in person. Well, I've been rambling on for long enough today. I have to clean the house and get ready for her to come over.

 

[Mel56789]

Well, the cymbalta is helping. I've been doing a lot better and focusing on school and I'm really able to motivate myself now. Another plus is that I just finished state testing, and I never have to take them again! Woot! I've been taking them my whole life, and now they're gone! Awesomeness! However, on the negative side my dad might be losing his job today. His boss really crossed the line and my dad was incredibly pissed when he got home so his job might be over. I hope not. We're barely making ends meet as it is, and if my dad loses his job. Ugh. I won't know until he gets home tonight, so we'll see. I'll let you know how things go.

 

[Mel56789]

My dad didn't lose his job. Turns out it was just a false alarm. A pretty ****in scary false alarm! Jeezers. Another thing. My family is incredibly, out loud, flaming fundamentalist christian. So, understandably, I've been under the belief for most of my life that homosexuality and bisexuality are wrong and a sin and all that jazz. Meaning I've been denying my own attraction to other girls since I was a kid and basically trying to live a lie. Not anymore! I've completely and fully accepted the fact that I'm bisexual, although my family isn't going to be finding out while I'm still under their roof. Understandably again. My friends at school know, I'm going back to school by the way, but they are all sworn to secrecy when it comes to my family. I signed up for the SAT in June, so cross your fingers. I'm probably not going to a four-year college right away but a community college, but still. It's always good to apply and try your luck. My depression is soooooooooooooooooooo much better. Dr. B thinks it's a good idea to try and back off the cymbalta and see if I still need it. We're going to have to be careful though to make sure that if I do still need it I don't spiral back down. So, that's the life of Mel.