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Mistress Cupcakkes Captain
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 Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 3:44 pm
♫ я ą ɨ ɳ ß ø ฬ. §ąʏs ♫
okay, so basically i've been a part of two different pregnancy threads.
one, i was being talked about behind my back.
and the other, i got a message stating that some of the girls really didn't like how descriptive i am.
all my life up until i was 16 (almost 17), i have had almost no friends. i would have 1-2 people referred to as "friends", but we wouldn't talk a lot and never hang out outside of school. so in school, i was generally quiet and only those 1 or 2 people would occasionally talk to me. and outside of school, i would isolate myself in my bedroom watching tv and doing homework or would be online almost all day. i would never even go to the store or go shopping for clothes and if i did, i would just grab some of the baggy-est stuff that i wouldn't have to try on.
i spent most of my entire life online (neopets, awolnow, facebook, myspace, endlessonline, trickster, xanga, livejournal....etc.). a lot of the time, i would even just fall asleep at the computer.
after freshman year in the summertime, my younger brother (one year younger) and one of his friends decided one day to grab my cellphone and walk out of the house with it. and of course, i went after them and they kept walking, saying that if i wanted it back, i had to go with them and they'd give it back once we got there. we got to his friend's house and in her garage, there were a few other people. they were drinking and smoking weed and cigarettes. one of the guys in there recognized me. he said we were in 8th grade history together and told me how he kept trying to talk to me, but i'd just give him a weird look and then look back down to my paper.
i've been depressed pretty much most of my life since i was 9-years-old when the only person (my cousin) i cared for died in a car accident and flew out her window (she was drunk), down a hill, and her car rolled on top of her. so i always had my bangs long and would cover my eyes with them so no one could see me, but if i chose to, i could see them. i mostly chose to keep my head down and eyes aimed at the floor.
all the "friends" i did make, all ended up using me for one reason or another. but of course i didn't realize it until just last year. i always tried to keep everyone happy all at the same time.
around x-mas 2007, i was on the 3rd floor in inpatient at a behavioral health hospital. in there, i was told and learned that i can't keep everyone happy all at the same time and that it's impossible. i was also told that before i could love and care for anyone else, i need to be able to love myself and take care of myself first.
"grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace"
i found this all to be quite helpful in my life and i started to realize some things about my life that i had to accept (not being able to keep everyone happy), i realized there were a lot of things in my life that i needed to change, and i knew the difference.
in there, we learned to live one day at a time. for instance, since it was mostly for people with drug and drinking problems, we would teach ourselves to think to ourselves each morning "i'm not going to drink/do-drugs today". and everyone would do it every day in any case.
most of my life also consisted of not being able to talk, because no one would let me finish what i was saying and i was brought up to be polite and not cut in when another person was talking. it kept happening all the time, so i just stopped talking altogether.
what i did instead since nothing ever went right and i had no friends, i would use the internet to get my feelings out and make friends via internet.
i've also liked to read books and would occasionally write little stories. so i've always had a think for being descriptive. it helps people to understand more and can get a picture of what i'm talking about in their head. i like trying to get people to see things how i see it, and understand my opinions and points-of-view on things. i don't mind one way or another whether it's accepted or not, i just want it to be understood just like i try to understand others.
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Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 5:03 pm
My husband and I have been together for a year and a half. We don't have children yet.... but soon I think we will. Honestly? We're trying but no luck yet. We are in our twenties but we are constantly being told that we are too young to be married and having kids. But a lot of my friends have children and I have two nephews who I love.
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Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 5:10 pm
Rainbowwwwwwww!! <3
I totally get what you mean about being cut off when you try to talk! :] That used to happen to me all the time. Finally, I'd start being rude back and interrupting them too! haha.
:]
Mint chocolate chip ice cream = love.
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Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 5:39 pm
I know what you mean, my own family is saying I'm not "well" enough to care for my baby boy. But you know what? I know I am, and I will try my very best. This baby is my world and he will always come first.
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Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 5:52 pm
I'm 22, my fiancé is 20 (as of tomorrow). We're getting married either late this year or early next year. We're planning on having kids in 3-6 years. We haven't decided on exactly when we'll start trying. It depends on way too many factors--an apprenticeship he's trying to get, a degree I'm trying to get, the fact that we want a house, the fact that we don't know what will happen as far as employment goes with me thanks to me immigrating to the US.
I'm the eldest of 5 kids biologically and 6 kids if you count steps. I'm a former childcare provider to disabled kids. I know the most about cerebral palsy and autism if you have any questions.
My fiancé is actually a father. Unfortunately, his son passed away at either 2 months or 4 months (I can't remember which, he doesn't like to talk about it, for obvious reasons) from SIDS.
My "kids" include all of my kids I've "adopted" (by loving them, not by legality) and my cub pack. I have 12 little boys between the ages of 7 and 11 in my cub pack. I also have a 3 year old "son" who is the younger brother of one of the disabled kids I used to look after. His brother, who would have been 6 this month, passed away at 4 years of age from an infection that was a complication of having his tonsils out since he had a compromised immune system from complications of severe cerebral palsy. I considered him a son. I also have a "son" who will be 3 next month and is the son of one of my best friends.
I also have a fur-baby named Leo, an almost-3 year old silver tabby.
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Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 7:00 pm
 ♫ я ą ɨ ɳ ß ø ฬ. §ąʏs ♫
@LauraIV:
a lot of people seem to think that others should at least be in their late twenties or early thirties before they get married. soetimes waiting until then can be a good think to make sure that everything is set with jobs, cars, gas, a place to stay and rent if it applies, and all that. in theory it's a good thing.
but of course, it might not always be what's best for certain people. everything depends on the two people that wish to be together. my older sister got married at 19 and ended up divorced after less than a year. they have a baby together, but now aren't together and don't want to be together. my sister wants him to be a part of the child's life though. which to me, is a horrible idea because the boy is about 4 months old and the father has never bought one little thing for him, is a registered sex offender, and on top of that he's not even on the birth certificate and throughout the pregnancy claimed the child was not his.
i'm only 18 years old (19 in september), and my boyfriend is 19 (20 in december). we've been together just a little bit longer than the day i conceived. we weren't trying, but we weren't preventing. we have really stong feelings for eachother and do perfectly with talking things out and telling eachother everything and being honest. we're young and in love; amazingly it does happen even though i thought before that it would never be possible. he's talked to me a few times about getting married, but with what happened with my sister, i told him i want to wait until after the baby's born, after we both get our GED completed, and when we both have jobs and at least one of us has a car.
either way, whether or not other people tell you you're too young for anything, ultimately it's not up to them. you're not getting married to them and you're not going to have to live with them. it's just their opinions and advice which can be taken or ignored.
i've been told only once so far by a girl my own age (well a little younger) that i'm too young to be pregnant. physically, maybe too young. but mentally, spiritually, and emotionally, i'm quite ready to raise a baby. sure i might neeed a little bit of help, but i've already been working on getting things into order financially and all that.
♥♥♥
@iPanties:
e_e for me, it got to the point where if my older sister was with me, she would talk for me. crazily enough she knew what i wanted said. i had no problem with it, but of course it wasn't a good thing for me later on in life.
thankfully now though, i got over the shyness and depression and i tend to talk a little too loud sometimes (probably just because i feel after all the years of silece that everyone needs to hear anything i have to say).
like once at iHop, my sister had steak cooked rare and i was talking kinda loud about how it looked like bloody v****a.
i tend to not realize it though when i'm doing it.
@RockyRapsody:
what do your family mean by not "well" enough?
like mentally, physically, emotionally, financially.....?
@Who is Morgan:
you're one of the only people i have ever met that has actually been working on a legit family plan before trying or taking risks of getting pregnant. i totally applaud and admire that.
it's really good too that you've had childcare exerience. i've only takend care of my 3 youngest siblings in their early years when my dad would always be at work and my mom would be watching tv or just laying in bed. i've also done a bit of babysitting and am good with kids. as of right now i help my sister out with her 4-month boy and will wastch him, play with him, and try to help him learn how to sit up on his own and crawl.
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Mistress Cupcakkes Captain
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Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 7:48 pm
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Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 8:13 pm
Hi all! I'm really old (over 40, so let's not) and I have kids who are (the older ones) on Gaia. I'm also a grandparent as my husband and I fostered and our oldest foster son is in his late 20s and has 2 kids. Even though I'm not having any more kids, many of my friends are only just now having kids themselves so I'm still in the loop. I hope my age doesn't put any of you off - I did wonder if Rainbow knew but it's pretty clear on my profile that I'm ancient.
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High-functioning Marshmallow
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Mistress Cupcakkes Captain
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Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 8:30 pm
♫ я ą ɨ ɳ ß ø ฬ. §ąʏs ♫
@Who is Morgan:
i've wanted a baby of my own for a little over a year now. i would talk about it a lot with another friend who's older than me that also wanted one.
but of course i was going through my party days, so i never did any actual planning. i didn't think i would be pregnant this soon, but then again i also didn't think i'd ever have someone i felt i truely care for and love.
i didn't even realize until early january that i hadn't gotten my period since late november. by the time of my first ultrasound, i found out that i was just one day shy of 14-weeks pregnant.
i've already gotten a few things for my baby, some i paid for myself, and some other things my mom paid for. i still have so much more things to get. thankfully i at least know i'm pregnant and didn't find out any later than i did.
i saw a show on tv a few days ago about these women that were pregnant but didn't even know until they went into labor. one woman had her baby in a filthy campground bathroom. her baby fell to the floor and started turning blue, but luckily there was a nurse also camping there that revived it. and the nearest hospital was 10mi away.
two other women that didn't know they were pregnant ended up with twins.
i mean, a situation like that would be extremely overwhelming. not only finding out for the past 9 months you've been pregnant, but all of a sudden having a newborn baby and absolutely no clothes, a crib or anything. that would be so stressful.
@cathyfugue:
;D i totally don't discriminate in any way including age.
i may be a youngin' but i do talk to older people and all.
my stepdad's in his 50s and whatnot and i talk to him openly and honestly about everything and anything. same with my mom and she's about 18 years younger than him.
i talk to my boyfriend's stepmom occasionally, but as little as i have to because of things she's said, suggested, and asked me, i really don't feel comfortable talking to her or informing her of anything with me and mine and my boyfriend's baby.
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Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 11:59 pm
@Who Is Morgan:
I don't understand what some of those questions have to do with being married. Why should it matter if I have a blackberry? Why should it matter if I like to log onto chat sites (given that they're not cyber-sex ones, but that falls into a whole other level.)? What does the type of car you have have to do with being married? Why should health and appearance matter if you're getting married?
Excuse me if I'm wrong, but I have always thought (since it's what I've been taught over the years) that you're supposed to marry a person for love. Not for health, not for the phone they have, not for the car they have, not whether they're disabled or not, not for what they look like or how much money they have. When did marriage become a business deal?
Omg. I lost my camera and I didn't really care until tonight because I got a bunch of cute new clothes and I wanna take pictures!! :[ -dies-
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Posted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 4:41 am
iPanties Mint chocolate chip ice cream = love.
I agree.
@Who is morgan: So what about the children who were accidents, like my brother... and my son? Honestly if that accident happened my son wouldn't be who he is today, he'd be a girl, or a different boy. I am proud of my son, and I am not going to go back and take away what I made.
aaannnyways... I'm tired and I'm excited that I'm going to get an apartment.
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Posted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 5:32 am
Im 16 years old and me and my bf have been together for 10 months now. We met over myspace through an ex boyfriend of mine and i fell for him almost instantly. after a month we both moved into my moms house (i was living with my dad) and 2 months later i got pregnant. this is my first child unless you count my little brother, an autistic 9 year old, whom ive practically raised since birth. at one time he got in the habbit of calling me mommy 2 so hes always been like a son to me.
i dont ask for much just please dont judge me. i know i am young but i can be more mature than a lot of 20 year olds. i know the road is going to be tough but im willing to do anything in my power to make sure my daughter gets the life she deserves. i'd do anything to make sure they have a better life than i have.
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Posted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 7:48 am
iPanties @Who Is Morgan: I don't understand what some of those questions have to do with being married. Why should it matter if I have a blackberry? Why should it matter if I like to log onto chat sites (given that they're not cyber-sex ones, but that falls into a whole other level.)? What does the type of car you have have to do with being married? Why should health and appearance matter if you're getting married? Excuse me if I'm wrong, but I have always thought (since it's what I've been taught over the years) that you're supposed to marry a person for love. Not for health, not for the phone they have, not for the car they have, not whether they're disabled or not, not for what they look like or how much money they have. When did marriage become a business deal? The reasoning for those questions is so that you know what you're getting into. You can learn a lot about someone's values by the things they own. It tells you about their budgeting skills or lack thereof. What kind of car they drive can tell you a lot about their values. Do they drive a big gas guzzling SUV? Do they drive an itty bitty little hybrid? Is a coupe or convertible the only thing they ever want to drive? Are they anti-cell phone? I am and it is a communication barrier in my relationship. I refuse to get a cell. My fiancé often has difficulty getting a hold of me. How many hours a day does your partner like to spend on a chat program? What are their reasons for chatting? Are they likely to keep chatting at that level or a greater amount of time? That will affect your relationship, long-term. Marriage that lasts is about more than just love--it's about compatibility. Some people are "in love" right now with someone "despite" their appearance or health, but won't be able to handle it in the long run. They need to stop and think about how that appearance or health problem might affect the relationship in the long-run. Why? Some people don't want to admit that they're shallow. Some people have dreams of a certain lifestyle and, long-run, if they don't get it, that will tear apart the relationship. See, love changes over the long-run. And sometimes, depending on various factors, when love changes, it sometimes becomes weaker and wears away with time. Those questions are designed to teach you about someone's values, someone's lifestyle, someone's thought processes and your own vanities. Marriage is about love. It's also supposed to last long-term.
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Posted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 8:01 am
shawchert @Who is morgan: So what about the children who were accidents, like my brother... and my son? Honestly if that accident happened my son wouldn't be who he is today, he'd be a girl, or a different boy. I am proud of my son, and I am not going to go back and take away what I made. I'm not saying take him back or don't be proud of him. I'm not saying accident babies are sick and wrong. I'm saying that it's easier on all parties involved when babies are planned. I'm saying that planned is best. It's a luxury some people don't have. My little sister is the result of my mum taking a pill 6 hours late. Especially for a first baby, planned is best and easiest on the relationship between the parents. I'm not saying that it's somehow implicitly wrong to have an unplanned pregnancy--I'm pro-choice, it's up to the individual. I'm saying that it's easier from a psychological, financial and relationship standpoint to have a planned baby and that, whenever possible, babies should be planned with care and by taking time to consider how a baby will affect you, your partner, your finances, etc. It's easier to make a stable base for a planned baby than for an unplanned baby. That's not to say it's impossible to make a stable base for an unplanned baby. It's just harder and has a higher failure rate.
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Posted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 10:21 am
@vampirexkat:
We won't judge!! <333 iiSnuggie and I are both pregnant teens as well. You and iiSnuggie are the same age, I just turned 17 a couple months ago. :]
xoxo
@Shawchert:
Oooh!!! Did you get a new jobbbbb? ;DDDD
<3 Thats awesome news to hear. :]
Who Is Morgan:
It is about compatibility, but if you're in love, you obviously clicked somewhere along the line so you must be compatible. If a couple just marries on love, it doesn't mean they'll end up in a divorce. People who marry because of cars and phones and money end up in divorces more often. =/
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