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Mistress Cupcakkes Captain
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 Posted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 1:01 pm
Is it safe to have sex while I'm pregnant?
Most women who are having a normal pregnancy may continue to have sex right up until their water breaks or they go into labor. You won't hurt the baby by making love. The amniotic sac and the strong muscles of the uterus protect your baby, and the thick mucus plug that seals the cervix helps guard against infection.
There are some circumstances, though, in which you may need to modify your activity or abstain from sex altogether for part or all of your pregnancy. Your midwife or doctor should let you know whether you have — or develop — any complications that make sex a no-go. If you're uncertain, ask your caregiver.
Will sex feel different now that I'm pregnant?
Many women report that sex feels different during pregnancy. Some find it more pleasurable, at least at times. Others may generally find it less so, for part or all of the pregnancy. Here's what's going on.
Increased blood flow to the pelvic area can cause engorgement of the genitals. The heightened sensation that results may add to your pleasure during sex. You may have more vaginal discharge or moistness, which could also be a plus.
On the other hand, you may not like how these changes feel and may find that genital engorgement gives you an uncomfortable feeling of fullness. You may also have abdominal cramps during or immediately after intercourse.
Your breasts may feel tingly, tender, and unusually sensitive to touch, particularly in the first trimester. The tenderness generally subsides, but your breasts may remain more sensitive. Some women will find this heightened sensitivity to be a turn-on, while others won't (and may even prefer that their breasts not be touched at all).
Let your partner know if anything feels uncomfortable, even if it's something you're used to doing all the time. If you find you're feeling turned on but not enjoying intercourse, consider other erotic activities, such as mutual pleasuring, oral sex, or self-stimulation. Experiment and make adjustments as a couple to make sex relaxing and pleasurable for both of you.
Remember, too, that there's more to physical intimacy than sex. If you don't feel like having sex or your caregiver has advised you not to, you can still hug, kiss, and caress each other.
I haven't really been in the mood since I got pregnant. Is this normal?
There's a wide range of individual experiences when it comes to sexual desire during pregnancy. Some women have a heightened libido throughout pregnancy, while others find they're less interested in sex. Many women find that their sexual appetite fluctuates, perhaps depending on how they're otherwise feeling physically and emotionally.
You may feel too tired, moody, or nauseated to make love, especially in the first trimester. It's not unusual to feel overwhelmed by the physical and emotional changes you're going through. But take heart — you may find that your libido returns in the second trimester after morning sickness and fatigue have abated.
It's also not uncommon, however, for desire to wane again in the third trimester, particularly in the last month or two. At this point, you may be too big, achy, or exhausted to make love comfortably. You may feel self-conscious about how your body has changed or preoccupied with the approach of labor and birth.
Let your partner know how you feel and reassure him that you still love him. It's crucial to keep the lines of communication open and to support each other as best you can as you go through these changes together.
Will my partner's sex drive change?
Most partners find their pregnant lover as attractive as ever or even more so, though not all do. But there are all kinds of reasons your partner's desire may be dampened at least part of the time during your pregnancy. For example, he may be apprehensive about the burdens of parenthood, and that anxiety may affect his sexual desire.
Probably the most common reason that men become more tentative about sex during pregnancy is a fear that sex could hurt the baby. If your partner needs reassurance about the safety of sex during pregnancy, bring him with you to your next prenatal appointment.
Most importantly, talk to each other about your fears and anxieties, as well as your needs and desires. Open communication can defuse a lot of tension and allow you to relax, enjoy each other, and find ways to be intimate, whether or not you're having intercourse.
Is it safe for my partner to give me oral sex?
For the most part, yes. Licking is fine, but your partner shouldn't blow into your genital area. Forcing or blowing air into the v****a could cause an air embolism (a bubble of air that gets into your blood circulation). This happens very rarely, but it could be life threatening for you or the baby.
It's also not safe for your partner to give you oral sex during pregnancy if he has an active outbreak of oral herpes or feels one coming on. And during the third trimester, if your partner has ever had oral herpes, he should avoid giving you oral sex altogether, whether or not he has symptoms.
If you're not sure what your partner's HIV status is, use a dental dam (a sheet of latex that you place between your genitals and your partner's mouth). There's some evidence suggesting that a person may be able to transmit HIV through micro-abrasions or tiny cuts in his mouth.
How can I protect myself from sexually transmitted infections during intercourse?
If you're at risk for sexually transmitted infections (STIs) — that is, you're not in a mutually monogamous relationship with an uninfected partner — you should abstain from intercourse or at least use latex condoms every time you have sex. If latex isn't a good option for you, use polyurethane male or female condoms.
Which positions tend to be the most comfortable?
You may have to experiment to find which positions are best for you. Finding a comfortable position for intercourse becomes more of a challenge as your belly grows.
For example, the missionary position (man on top) becomes increasingly difficult as your pregnancy progresses and is nearly impossible late in pregnancy. (If you do use this position after the first trimester, your partner will need to keep his weight off your abdomen. And wedge a pillow under you so you're not flat on your back.)
Some couples find pregnancy to be an opportunity to get creative and try some new positions. Here are some suggestions:
• Straddle your partner as he lies on his back. This way, there'll be no weight on your abdomen and you can control the depth of penetration.
• Straddle your partner as he sits on a sturdy chair.
• Lie side-by-side with your partner facing your back and entering from behind. (Deep thrusts can become uncomfortable as the months pass. Penetration tends to be shallower in this position.)
• Lie on your side, tilted back somewhat with a pillow wedged under your back to support you as you face your partner. This position allows him to keep most of his weight off your belly.
• Shift your bottom to the side or foot of the bed and lie back with your knees bent and feet perched at the edge of the mattress. (After your first trimester, wedge a pillow under one side so you're not completely flat on your back.) Your partner kneels or stands in front of you.
• Support yourself on your knees and elbows. Your partner kneels and enters from the rear.
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Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 12:01 am
After the baby is born, how soon can I have sex?
Whether you give birth vaginally or by C-section, your body will need time to heal. Many doctors recommend waiting four to six weeks before resuming intercourse. This allows time for the cervix to close, postpartum bleeding to stop, and any tears or repaired lacerations to heal.
But the other important timeline is your own. Some women feel ready to resume sex within a few weeks of giving birth, while others need a few months — or even longer. Factors such as fatigue, postpartum blues and changes in body image may take a toll on your sex drive.
Will it hurt?
Your v****a may be dry and tender, especially if you're breast-feeding. To ease any discomfort, take it slow. Start with cuddling, kissing or massage. Gradually build the intensity of stimulation. If vaginal dryness is a problem, use a lubricating cream or gel. Try different positions to take pressure off any sore areas and control penetration. Tell your partner what feels good — and what doesn't.
It's also important to stay centered on the moment. For most women, sexual response requires the entire brain. Keep your mind on yourself and your partner — not the diapers, laundry and other household chores.
If sex continues to be painful, consult your doctor. A low-dose estrogen cream applied to the v****a may help. Rarely, complications of healing may require additional treatment.
Will it feel different?
After several vaginal deliveries, decreased muscle tone in the v****a may reduce pleasurable friction during sex — which can influence arousal.
To tone your pelvic floor muscles, do Kegel exercises. Simply tighten your pelvic muscles as if you're stopping your stream of urine. Try it for five seconds at a time, four or five times in a row. Work up to keeping the muscles contracted for 10 seconds at a time, relaxing for 10 seconds between contractions. Once you've got the hang of it, do at least three sets of 10 Kegel exercises a day.
What about birth control?
Unless you're hoping to become pregnant right away, sex after pregnancy requires a reliable method of birth control — even if you're breast-feeding. Barrier methods such as condoms and spermicides can be useful. If you're breast-feeding and prefer hormonal birth control, it's important to select a method that won't decrease your milk supply. Your postpartum checkup is a great time to ask your doctor about the options.
What if I'm too tired to have sex?
Caring for a newborn is exhausting. If you're too tired to have sex at bedtime, say so. But that doesn't mean your sex life is over. You may prefer making love early in the morning or during your baby's nap. Feed your baby first to extend the time you and your partner have together.
What if I'm not interested in sex?
That's OK. There's more to a sexual relationship than intercourse, especially when you're adjusting to life with a new baby. If you're not feeling sexy or you're afraid sex will hurt, share your concerns with your partner. Also share your feelings about your new roles as parents. Although your primary role models are likely to be your own parents, remember that you and your partner can adopt your own approach to parenthood.
Until you're ready to have sex, maintain intimacy in other ways. Spend time together without the baby, even if it's just a few minutes in the morning and after the baby goes to sleep at night. Share short phone calls throughout the day or occasional soaks in the tub. Look for other ways to express affection. Attend to the spark that brought you together in the first place.
If communicating with your partner doesn't help, be alert for signs and symptoms of postpartum depression. If your mood is consistently low, you find little joy in life or you have trouble summoning the energy to start a new day, contact your doctor promptly.
What can I do to boost my sex drive?
Go easy on yourself. Set reasonable expectations as you adjust to parenthood. Appreciate the changes in your body. Eat healthy foods, and drink plenty of fluids. Include physical activity in your daily routine. Rest as much as you can. Spend some time alone. Taking good care of yourself can go a long way toward keeping passion alive.
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Mistress Cupcakkes Captain
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Posted: Sun Apr 26, 2009 12:09 pm
for me, pp sex made me feel like a virgin all over again. And it gave me the best orgasm I'd ever experienced (half an hour long). I was 11 days postpartum.
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