Jameth's Corner

[Jamethial]

Part I:

"So..." I said as I looked around, "what are we doing here again?"
Tori looked at me and threw up his arms. "We're here!" He exasperatedly told me for the fifteen millionth time.
I rolled my eyes. My twin brother always did have a way with words... I gave him a look and put my hands on my hips. My eyes were still adjusting to the light (or lack of), but from what I could see, we were in the lobby of an old church.
I could hear voices coming from somewhere in the back of the building. "No! That's where this cord goes! Oh my gosh! Gimme that!" That was a female voice. It sounded like... Meru.
"Well Soooorreeee Miss 'I pwn all'!"
And that... that was definitely... Matt. Then I heard laughter from a couple of other people... Jinsu and Haru.
I looked at my brother incredulously. "I know you didn't drag me down here in the middle of the night to play video games in an old abandoned church!" I whispered maliciously.
All he could do was give me some stupid smile and shrug his shoulders like an idiot, which made me smack myself on the forehead. I cringed. Note to self: Don't hit yourself!
"What is wrong with you?! You used to be the fun one! Why d'ya gotta be such a fun sucker?" Now Tori had his hands on his hips.
I crossed my arms and looked away. It was true. But after moving away from all of our family and friends and then spending three years in hiding, I'd lost any and all of my interest in having fun. No, I was not happy. But you wouldn't be either if you hadn't had anyone but my twin brother as company for so long! And it was like the more depressed I got, the harder Tori tried to be the happy one... I guess he was just trying to balance us out. I don't know. But now that the old gang was back together, Tori was dead-set on having us all spend every waking moment together.
I mean, it's not like I wasn't happy to be with everyone again, it's just that old habits die hard, and I was in the habit of being depressed. I could tell that Tori was slowly beginning to tire of my attitude.
"What do you expect from someone who calls herself Death?!" I said to him, trying to put on an apologetic look.
"I'm sorry I'm such a freakin' fun-sucker, Torison! I'm just really tired..."
Yes, I was sorry that my brother had to suffer with me, but it was really late!
Torison just looked at me out of the corner of his eye, his hands still on his hips. Yep, he was pissed.
"What are you guys arguing about?"
Meru's head was half way around the door frame with the rest of her body lagging somewhere behind. Three other heads popped up beside hers.
"What the crap?!" I gave them a look that said they were all crazy. "What are you talking about? We weren't arguing..."
I looked at the floor and at the wall; anywhere but straight at them. Tori just didn't say anything and narrowed his eyes even more (if that was possible). The other four looked at each other. I could hear their thoughts...
"Whatever. We could hear you from in here."
I had to change the subject fast.
"So where are we? Why are you guys here of all places?"
I put on a half smile, hoping that they would forget about mine and Tori's argument and my bad attitude.
They exchanged glances but answered anyway. "This is the new HQ!" Meru smiled triumphantly and threw up her hands as if to show it off. "Isn't it great?"
I still couldn't see crap. "Are there any lights in this place? Wait... new HQ?! Who's great idea was it to buy this place? And where did you get the money?"
Their smiles faltered. Not a good sign.
"Well actually, it was Torison's idea to buy it. But I thought you already knew since you were the one who -- Mph!" Matt had put his hand over Meru's mouth and somehow simultaneously elbowed her in the ribs.
Oh yeah, that wasn't suspicious at all...
"Since you're the one who planned this whole thing of course!"
I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms again.
"Because I what?"
Matt made a slapping motion at Meru. She cringed and let out a high-pitched "Sorry" laugh.
Haru had stepped up to the plate and was starting to try to explain what their newest scheme was. "Well, it's like this... Tori wanted everyone to be together..."
Oh my gosh...
"And we can all see how depressed you are -er- have been lately...
There it was.
"And we all thought it'd be a good idea to move in together..."
I couldn't help myself. "Wait move i-"
Haru raised his hand to cut me off and kept talking as if I'd never spoken.
"But we didn't have the money to pay for a regular place with enough room for all of us, or a place that was big enough for the TV... And then we found this church and we thought that is was perfect... And Torison here said that you guys wouldn't mind fronting the money if we could help pay to fix it up."
Oh. My. Gosh.
I was actually speechless. No words came from my lips. None at all. I was so stunned that they had actually taken my money to pay for this freakin' HOLE!
I'd saved most of the money I had from back when Tori and I had worked as assassins, knowing that I'd need it one day. Okay, sure, I didn't know what I was going to use it for just yet, but I was planning on using it!
Finally all I could get out of my mouth was a "DO NOT WANT!!!" Along with a face that said "I'll kill you all for this!".
Unfortunately my choice phrase was not the best thing I could have said, but it was another bad habit that I had. This one I had picked up from my friend Kaxel from the Assassin's Guild when I worked for them.
As I came out of my speechlessness, I could see that everyone had moved backward about five feet. I could tell that they felt bad about using my money, and my nii-sans were trying to calm me down enough to apologize, but due to lack of sleep and great disappointment over my money, I stormed out of the church-house without another word.  

[Jamethial]

Part II:

I didn't feel like hanging around town that night, and I was too tired to go anywhere else, so I went home.
Once I was there I threw my coat down on the couch and retreated to my room. This was my space; my sanctuary.
When we first became assassins Torison and I shared a room... actually we shared a bed. But about a month into the job he began to have nightmares. He started crying and screaming in his sleep... I couldn't help him and I got tired of feeling so pathetic so I moved into my own room down the hall.
I thought about all of this as I sat on my window sill and looked out over the street.
It had started to snow.
Tori would catch a cold if he hadn't come home soon. He hadn't worn his jacket...  

[Jamethial]

Part III:

When I woke up it was morning. I had fallen asleep on the sill and woken up in the same position I had been in. My face had been plastered to the window and frost was creeping up each of the minor panels. It was cold; no one had turned the heat on.
Where the hell was Tori? He was cold-natured, so the heat was always on when the weather was this way...
I opened my door and walked out of the room towards his, looking into the kitchen and the living room as I swept past. Not there.
His door was open as it had been when I had come home. He wasn't there. By now I was sick with worry. I had to check; just to be sure.
I pushed lightly on the door and it creaked open. Everything was as it had been the day before; bed made, room clean... He hadn't even come home.
I don't think I shut the door all the way. My coat wasn't even on, but I was already half-way down the street and around the corner at a dead run. If he was hurt... I would gladly kill every person in this ******** city...
I was half way across town when the burning in my lungs finally slowed me down. I hadn't realized that I had started in the direction of the church, but I was almost there. No turning back now... I would have to face everyone sooner or later...

Just as I was coming up to the front of the church the doors swung open and Jinsu came running out. He didn't see me until I was about 5 feet away. As he came closer I could see that his face was wet and his eyes were watered over; he had been crying.
"Nii-san..." I began, but he caught me in a hug that muffled my voice and pressed the air from my lungs. Something was wrong...
"We tried calling your cell..."
I didn't have my cell phone - it was on vibrate anyway.

"For what? You're not mad at me? Why are you crying? Where's Tori?... Nii-san?"
"Oh Jame!" He was shaking. I knew he was trying to compose himself, trying not to cry...
I felt my face grow hot and red. "Jinsu! What happened?!"
"J-Jamie... Torison's in the hospital... He's... He's been shot... He's dying!"
It was as if it had taken all of my friend's energy to say those choked words. He stood there holding me in his arms a minute longer and finally dropped to the ground, his arms around my knees.

And it was as if time had stopped just for me. Just so that I could feel that I had lived that horrifying moment for a life time. I could hear nothing. The only thing to reach my ears was the sound of my own rushing blood and pounding heart.
All of a sudden I was running. Running towards the only thing I had left; running.  

[Jamethial]

Part IV:

I was running through throngs of people, not caring if I bumped into anyone, tuning out their angry words. They didn't matter. Only he mattered.
The hospital was right in front of me. Just a little farther...
I stormed through the doors and ran towards the nearest reception desk. There was no time to lose.
"Maxwell, Torison! Please hurry!" The look on my face probably said that I was the one dying, and it felt like I was.

"I'm sorry Ma'am, but only family members are allowed to see patients in intensive care. You can either wait here or leave your name and number and we can have the patient get back to you." The receptionist smiled sweetly and started to rummage around in her desk for a pad of paper and a pen.
I lost my temper. Here she was with this sickening smile plastered on her face and my brother was there somewhere dying!
"Do I not look like his ******** twin?! I know his picture comes up with his ******** records! Tell me where he is dammit!"
I couldn't stop myself from crying. The tears were hot and they flowed freely down my face. My rage and sorrow came with them. But I was the shadow assassin who had earned the nickname 'Death'! I never cried...
The woman gave me a pitiful look and let out an exasperated sigh. "Alright Ma'am, just calm down. I'm going to need to see some identification, alright?"
I dug out my ID out of my jeans pocket and slammed it on the reception desk, glaring at her the whole time. If my brother died before I could see him...
After a minute that seemed like eternity the receptionist finally said "Room 202."
"The stairs! Where are they?!" I demanded. She pointed to the left and I was gone before she had time to say "That way."

Finally I was on the second floor, running full out. I was almost there... Now the door to his room was coming into view. I could see Matt and Meru holding each other, and Hatsuharu standing against the wall, arms crossed, tears streaming down his face.
Why was everyone standing outside? Was I too late? No! I couldn't be! He had to be okay!
I was at the door, my hand on the knob... But I couldn't go in just yet. I had to compose myself. Tori couldn't see me like that. He couldn't see me cry.

I took in a deep breath, let it out, and opened the door. When I walked in I could see him; he was hooked up to all kinds of machines and I knew that they were keeping him alive.
As I walked over to his bed I wondered what I should say. Should I apologize? Should I try to make him feel better?
But when I finally reached him there were no words. All I could do was look at him.
He was hooked up to so many machines... Was he really going to be alright?
"Tori..." I almost started crying again.
At that moment the monitor started beeping frantically. His heart was failing him. I couldn't move, couldn't say a word. I was frozen to the spot. After a few moments a horde of nurses and doctors came rushing in.
I was still just standing there staring at him. My feet wouldn't move. Someone shoved me out of the way.
And I stood there and watched, my tears streaming from my eyes, down my cheeks, and to the floor.
Haru was trying desperately to get in, but a nurse held him back. "Please! Let me in there!" He begged. "I'm sorry sir, but you'll only get in the way! Please, just wait in the lobby!"
"Come on, sweetie, let's get you out of here." A nurse had taken me by the shoulders gently and was trying to lead me out of the room. But I couldn't leave. I had to stay there. I had to stay with him...
"Clear!" The doctors were using a defibrillator on Tori; his heart had stopped. "Clear!" They were still trying to bring him back for a few futile moments, but I knew... I knew he'd never wake up again.
The doctors finally stopped trying and a nurse pulled a blanket over my brother's face. I walked to his side and stood there, once more. Haru was still standing in the doorway, still watching, but he said nothing.
"I..." I paused trying to catch my breath so that I wouldn't start crying again. "I wanted to apologize..." I broke down. I just couldn't hold it in.
Haru walked over to me and put his arms around me; a silent hug that said so many words.  

[Jamethial]

Part V:

I never even got to say good bye... That was a year ago today; Christmas Day...
I still blame myself. Every single day I think about how it was all my fault. How he would still be alive today if I hadn't left him by himself.
As I stand here now, in front of this church that is now my home, I think about this, and I miss him. He was all I had left. Now I have no one but myself. Those that were once my friends I now hold at a distance. I barely talk to them and I know that I kill them with my silence.
But no longer.
As I hold this gun to my head, and with God as my witness, I will rejoin my beloved brother.
For whoever finds my body and this note... Forgive me for this mess I leave behind.

END