|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sun Mar 22, 2009 2:26 am
This is the training area. It is for you to post some of your more current poems so you may receive some constructive criticism.
-Don't be offended if you poem is criticized, proper criticism lets you know where and how you can improve.
-Your poetry should be recent, so we're not telling you you're lacking in areas you've already improved upon.
-If you were trying to practice something specific like trochee, a certain tone, or multi-syllable rhyme please say so, so that we know to talk about those things.
-Make sure your criticism is constructive and not just mean.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Apr 16, 2009 12:45 am
uh heres a poem i hav writen recently
The Lights of Life
There is a new you in every light
The mysterious in thought by the firelight,
The passionate deducing by the candlelight,
The mission brain work by the moonlight,
The hunting considerations by the starlight,
The socital adaptation by the sunlight,
And there
The walking slice of red velvet cake,
The fires of life wrapped in sweet cream,
And all the yous of all the lights,
Combine to find the time thats right
To claim this change of life tonight
I watch
On the sidelines I examine in my own delight,
To be like you
I thought you never knew
I wanted it too
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Apr 16, 2009 12:53 am
I
by madi frazer
I screamed until my lungs throbbed with agony pain,
I cried until my tears where printed into my cheek,
I dreamed of a man that was as deadly as a snake,
I loved a man who tried to kill me,
I feared the man I loved with my soul,
Now look at me,
Im as dead as a swan as its killed by an arrow
in the water of a stream like my blood in it's veins
Darkness
by madi frazer
the darkness is overwhelming
as it forces its way into my life,
Its impossible to dodge,
I'd scream but I'm smarter than that,
I canfeel its presence as it gets closer to my very soul,
Digging deeper till it consumes everything,
I know thats where I belong but its not where i wan't to be,
I wish that I hadn't took his own soul
like the darkness is trying to take mine.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Nov 29, 2009 2:29 pm
i have a question... do u post the poetry on this topic or do u make a new topic in this subforum? sweatdrop
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Nov 30, 2009 2:07 am
I had wanted new topics, but I wouldn't mind if they were posted here. I never noticed that evil panda posted.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
