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 Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 7:24 am
My life is getting so much harder.I can barely stand it.
When i was 8,my parents divorced.i was absolutely heartbroken,mostly because my father would always tell me "We will be together forever,and we will always be happy".I feel like he lied to me.He knew my mom would find out he was cheating,and he got my hopes up,thinking that we were going to be a happy family forever.
So,we moved in to a different house,and all that seperation stuff,and i had good friends during grade school,but then i had come into highschool. Highschool is a nightmare.i was hated by everyone,no one could stand to be by me because of my "Social Status".even the "geeks" didn't want to be around me.My friends completely turned their backs on me,and i have no one now.
after i was in grade 9 for a couple of months,my mom met Dave,my stepdad.Dave was really fun and nice,and i thought that with him around everything would be okay.Oh,and i forgot to mention.My mother is in a wheelchair,and has been for over 17 years of her life.So,everything went good for about a year,and i was in grade 10 by then,but then the fighting started.My mother was smoking now,even though she had never touched a smoke in her life,and i'm honestly,dissapointed.
Dave is leaving now,i fell like i will never have a at-home father that will always be there for me.To see my dad,i have to drive for and hour,and i know it's not long,but i hate not having him with me all the time.I know a lot of you are going to say "Just be confident"...but my confidence has run out.I don't have any.Everyone hates me,and my mother and step-dad are so hard to talk to.My mother cries all the time,so i don't want to tell her how i feel and make everything ten times worse.
I don't know what to do anymore,i don't really want to be suicidal,but sometimes i feel like everyone is so wrapped up in their own problems that they wouldn't even notice if i was dead.
i suppose that was more of a rant then explaining anything,but it really is hard,and i can't deal with it anymore.
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Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 3:44 pm
Sounds to me like you're in crisis. If you feel a strong urge to hurt yourself, call your local emergency number (see the suicide crisis thread). In the meantime, you need to see a therapist. For therapeutic services in your price range, look up your county's mental health program. If you're not calm and collected enough to do such research, you may tell me what county you live in and I can see about finding a free clinic four you. If you live outside of the United States, I can still try my luck.
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Posted: Wed Mar 18, 2009 3:02 pm
First off, do you have medical insurrance? If you do, take advantage of it.
Get yourself into a psychologist or a councilor. Sounds to me like you have a few abandonment issues, and sometimes they can help. Now I know most people are like "SHRINKS!?!?!?!!" But really, they are there to help you. I felt soooo much better when I was able to go to my shrink, just to be able to talk to her and have her give advice and all of that. Sometimes talking is the best cure. Plus sometimes they do a medication/therapy combined deal, which is what I had, and the medication helped a lot with depression as well. Again, I know people are like "MEDICATION?!??!" but it's there to help you, not hinder you.
Anyways, that's just my advice. Get yourself someone who is qualified to give advice to talk to. And make sure your medical insurrance is willing to pay it before you go, else it's expensive as hell.
Best of luck to you
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Posted: Wed Mar 18, 2009 7:19 pm
Even without medical insurance, one can get therapy through the county. It's sometimes difficult and it can take a bit of fighting, but they don't charge more than you can afford.
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Posted: Wed Mar 18, 2009 8:16 pm
Dr. Awkward Even without medical insurance, one can get therapy through the county. It's sometimes difficult and it can take a bit of fighting, but they don't charge more than you can afford. Then why can't I get any medical help at all? The state has basically said they can't do a thing for me. I wish that I could say that she could get help even without medical, but I cannot guarantee that anymore because of what has happened to me.
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Posted: Wed Mar 18, 2009 10:18 pm
-Sniffle-Doodle- Dr. Awkward Even without medical insurance, one can get therapy through the county. It's sometimes difficult and it can take a bit of fighting, but they don't charge more than you can afford. Then why can't I get any medical help at all? The state has basically said they can't do a thing for me. I wish that I could say that she could get help even without medical, but I cannot guarantee that anymore because of what has happened to me. Honestly, it's all a matter of advocacy. The fact is that we Americans have more rights than most of us realize, but we have to scream in a few faces to enjoy them. I'm a bit luckier than you are because I learned how to scream in faces and I had people to show me how it was done. In most places, social workers are paid to turn you down for anything no matter how well qualified you are. There are whole branches of the Perry Mason business devoted to screwing people over and these are the shysters who actually make money. That's why, if I pass the bar, I'll never get rich off of it -- I'm too honest. This is also why I generally view social workers as subhuman until proven otherwise. I can't say it'll be easy for anyone to get any help, especially before that person is at death's door. All I can say is that these services are there. If you have to clean an Augean stable first or push a rock up Sisyphus' hill, all I can tell you to do is to lift with your knees and not with your back. Sorry, but in Obama's America, this is just the way life goes. Furthermore, you've gotta be prepared to get the runaround. Sure, the state won't do you any damned good. That's why I refer folks to the county. Yeah, some county mental health offices are better than others, but trying your luck there is better than just going without.
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Posted: Wed Mar 18, 2009 11:18 pm
Dr. Awkward Honestly, it's all a matter of advocacy. The fact is that we Americans have more rights than most of us realize, but we have to scream in a few faces to enjoy them. I'm a bit luckier than you are because I learned how to scream in faces and I had people to show me how it was done. In most places, social workers are paid to turn you down for anything no matter how well qualified you are. There are whole branches of the Perry Mason business devoted to screwing people over and these are the shysters who actually make money. That's why, if I pass the bar, I'll never get rich off of it -- I'm too honest. This is also why I generally view social workers as subhuman until proven otherwise. I can't say it'll be easy for anyone to get any help, especially before that person is at death's door. All I can say is that these services are there. If you have to clean an Augean stable first or push a rock up Sisyphus' hill, all I can tell you to do is to lift with your knees and not with your back. Sorry, but in Obama's America, this is just the way life goes. Furthermore, you've gotta be prepared to get the runaround. Sure, the state won't do you any damned good. That's why I refer folks to the county. Yeah, some county mental health offices are better than others, but trying your luck there is better than just going without. Yeah I guess around where I live the county and the state both don't care about anyone, cause I tried both and they basically slammed the door in my face. Let's hope that other people have better luck than me. Cause the only way that I will get help, is if I am dying. I haven't decided if Obama is good for the country or not... I would have voted for him just cause I didn't like the competition. But yeah, I don't know how far he will get with what he promised. Let's hope he brings this economy out of the hell hole it's in soon.
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