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Fey the Lost Seme's Poetry.

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Sense of Nostalgia

PostPosted: Wed Mar 04, 2009 1:24 pm


Comatose.
Awake me from my slumber.
my dream that never ends.
The place I hide often within.
Where my minds becomes cleansed.
Comatose.
I can't shake this eerie feeling.
That tonight I'm going to die.
Sleeping gracefully; then opening my eyes.
Again I feel energized, movement I will try.
Comatose.
All of my energy and I can barely clench my fist.
Now I know, I will die like this.
Alarms are ringing, it's become quite transparent.
Tonight was my last chancce to pull throught the shroud.
Comatose.
Dying in my slumber.
My dream that Finally ends.
The place I recently died at.
Where my body lay cleansed.


Let me know what ya'll think 'bout it, okay? whee
PostPosted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 12:41 am


[ It's well written and heartfelt... but the concept is a slippery one. It's hard to ascertain the poet's purpose and direction in this poem, though sometimes that's not always such a bad thing, rendering the work more enigmatic if anything. I like it! ]

duir ancient

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bluemouse2

PostPosted: Sat May 08, 2010 11:57 pm


First, check your grammar and spelling before you post anything.

Second, what are you trying to convey here? Is this supposed to be just angsty teen poetry? Because that's what it sounds like. Pick an image and describe it to us. How you describe it, what words you use, what senses you invoke should give us the mood behind the poem. But first, just pick an image and make it clear, okay?
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Poetry/Lyrics (for those w/o a subforum)

 
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