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 Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2009 9:13 pm
Hi I'm not really sure where I should post this so I'll just put it in here...
I think I might have OCD... I don't know how I should describe it, but I know to get your thoughts and opinions I need to do so... I've read about it online and a few other places and I've considered ringing up a helpline or something to see what they think but to be hones I don't really have the guts..
Anyway lets see: well it seems to be little things that I do and can't help myself with. Like I'll sit down somwhere, be it in the car on the couch or at the dining room table and I can't help but scan every inch around me looking for dirt, dust, flecks of anything that I think "will get on me". I have a super paranoia about 'dirt' or anything really getting on me, my hands or where I'm sitting. I always notice that no one else cares or does anything like what I do, and I try to tell myself not to do it, but I just can't help it sad I can tell that for example when I'm at the table, my mum notices but she doesn't say anything. And I feel so foolish for doing so. Even in my room where I'm really the only one who goes there, when I'm on my bed my head constantly swivels and scans my bed to check there's nothing there. Even after I've checked I will still take a look around every now and then.. I always seem to be checking my hands for things I can't even see sad
I think when I'm with others I try to hide it but I don't know how well I do that.. Another thing is that, this guy who lives with us (long story about him - he used to be my mum's partner but now they've grown apart and he's only stil here because he can't find anywhere else to go), I always worry about everything he's touched, especially with his "dirty hands". I'm always frustrated about touching anything in the kitchen because he might have touched it, and I find myself cleaning my hands each time I touch or use something different... Just writing this I can see how completely crazy it sounds! It's made worse with the fact that my imagination runs wild with me, when I think about who's touched what, and from this they might have touched something else and how the germs are spread everywhere through the house... stressed When this starts happening I can see how stupid it is, because I can't think over everything and what's been touched, spread by whom... Another thing, is when I haven't gone to sleep yet and I hear this guy go to the toilet and then not wash his hands...then goes into the kitchen and touches everything there getting the food for his snacks in the night! You can't begin to understand how nervous this makes me feel, and then how I fret the next day when I'm in the kitchen..
Man, I know I'm not crazy though because this is only a small aspect - yet dominating I know- of my life, I live a normal life apart from this so anyone telling me I'm crazy is not going to help.. I have friends, I'm going to Uni this year, I have a perfectly normal life apart from this one thing.... I just wanted to know what you all think, and if you can give me any help... question If not, I suppose I can keep on with my life, hopefully it will just go away...
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Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2009 8:45 am
OCD is caused by an over-activity of a part of the brain because it lacks a certain chemical to relax it, hence giving a satisfying sensation that something is done and over with. It is an illness that shouldn't be laughed at or labeled as crazy, because like you thought you aren't crazy.
I think it's becoming more and more well-known because of the tv show MONK, an OCD detective brilliant in solving crimes.
But this problem isn't as easy to help with just a little advise. In your case it's not an obsession on ritual but an obsession on dirt.
So please tell me, why are you so repulsed by dirt or dust? How is it going to hurt you?
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Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2009 9:34 pm
Firstly, thank you for taking the time to read my post : ) I know it was quite long, and you took the time to reply as well! ^_^
Your post was really interesting, because to be honest, I don't think I've ever thought about it like that before, 'why do I not like dirt? Why am I repulsed by it?" It showed me again how irrational this 'fear' of mine is. Though I think I've always known that..
I'm not really sure.. I just hate the thought of it getting on me, I then imagine it spreading to whatever else I touch or use, and then it will be there for me when I come the next time to use that... It doesn't make any sense sad It is so very irrational, but what can I do? I remember a time, when at school for instance I would brush down the seat I was to sit on, because I didn't want in to get on my clothes.. My friend then pointed out to me that this was pointless because instead of being on my clothes, it was now on my hands.. Thankfully I've stopped trying to worry about what I'm going to sit on...
Is it not a problem though, to get all this dirt on me? Won't I be unclean and unhealthy because of it?
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Posted: Thu Feb 26, 2009 8:44 am
The key issue hear is being clean. An obsession on clean, must be clean must be clean must be clean. Staying healthy is one thing but for you it's much more about being clean.
Could you explore and expand on that? Maybe think about the possible trigger that started all this. Or your parents' influences.
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Bloody-Melons Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat May 23, 2009 8:56 pm
I think that if you are having a lot of trouble with this, you should seriously have a talk with your mom and go see a proffesional. I'm not really sure if you have OCD or a phobia of dirt. I do, however, know for a fact that you are not crazy. ;]
I wish I had better advice for you. Good luck.
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