|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Oct 22, 2005 7:03 am
[ Message temporarily off-line ]
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Oct 22, 2005 9:27 am
It's pretty good. Needs some work, and it has an awkward flow. Not bad though.
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Oct 23, 2005 7:44 am
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Oct 24, 2005 7:40 pm
This is a good poem. It starts from the view of an older sister maybe laughing at their sibling, but then it turns into regret. Mayb a bit of rewording could be redone to help the flow, but it is a good poem with nice content.
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Dec 19, 2005 9:32 pm
crying I loved it! Such a good poem. It reminded me of a playground bully in some odd way..............hmmm Keep up the good work.
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2006 9:24 am
wow brought flash backs of my childhood. *shudder* verry nice could use a little work on the flow but that's it.
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|