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 Posted: Sun Feb 15, 2009 9:30 pm
I am not done with it yet. I think I will have to force myself into a very derpessed mood againt to finish it. I had an idea in my head how the guitar would go with it, but seeing as how I don't actually sing, I am not really playing it. lol. But here is the start of my song.
She's only 17 but she don't know why she cries.
Swallowing salty tears and trying to dry her pretty eyes.
Abandoned by the dirt road, chaos surrounding her own fears.
Baby don't you know that butterflies are drowning in your tears.
But I can't believe she's fallen on hands and knees,
Broken on soiled ground, she's shattered.
She can't hold her head up off the ground, her fears swollen in her eyes.
she lost her will to push her life but she doesn't choose to die.
Dirt falling from the sky in some dry and desolate place,
The silouhette of a beaten sun is the only outline her eyes can trace.
But I can't believe everyone around her would up and leave
Falling on bleeding hands. She's shattered.
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Posted: Wed Feb 18, 2009 8:38 pm
Not bad Kat. One thing didn't sit right for me though. Your line, 'her fears swollen in her eyes'. How do fears swell in one's eyes? It just doesn't make sense. I like the butterfly line though, very creative.
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Shanra the Dragon Bard Vice Captain
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