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 Posted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 6:47 pm
i have a sinking premonition that i do not have the mental faculties to provide sufficient guidance for others.
all i can muster is the thought and advice that solves all my personal problems, but i rarely can apply that logic to others since it pretains largely to me specifically and many people are different than me in even the most basic thought processes (reason why most of my friends think im lovably, but legally, nuts lol).
how can i become happy with my level of performance on helping others?
i view myself as a nice person, and a caring person, that is the number one thing i define myself with, the one thing i strive to be the best at.
is caring, listening, sympathizing, sharing in pain, and being nice as well as respectful in manner and speech enough to help people? should i be satisfied with this course of things? what can i do?
for example, there is this girl whose words jump off the screen and strews a sense of agony throughout my breast, and i do not know what i can do to help her...what i can do for her...how i can save this precious person...
please, i leave myself in your care on this matter
*bows*
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Posted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 7:23 pm
Nobody can save a human, no matter how hard they try... You can give advice, support, you can care. But in the end the only person who can save someone, is themselves.
You should be glad you can listen. You can give advice. You can even give a shoulder to cry on... You can care about someone you never even met. That right there is honorable. But you cannot save anyone who cannot save themselves.. I know, its hard to deal with the fact that to a degree you cannot help someone... but really, its the fact.
Again its amazing when someone can care about a person you never met. The fact you wanna save someone, help someone you never met... its honorable. Never forget that.
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Posted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 8:48 pm
I agree with everything sniffle doodle said. I feel the same way as you, I yearn to help others, I feel inadequate when I am unable to. It took a long time for me to come to terms with the fact that I can't save everyone. Being a nice, caring person with a listening ear IS very helpful, but you can't invest yourself so deeply in someone else's emotional health that it begins to affect your own.
Some people are unsavable. its a sad fact, definitely. It's unfair, but you can't blame yourself for it when it's out of your control.
Continue to do what youre good at; being a nice caring person who is able to empathize with the pain of others and listen to their problems. Those are all amazing, amazing qualities that you should be proud of. Just don't let yourself get so caught up emotionally in other's issues that it begins to negatively affect you.
Hope this helps.
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Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 5:11 pm
The fact that you try to help is enough to prove the way you view yourself - a caring, nice gentleman.
Even if the advice you give isn't going to be the perfect solution to their problems, it doesn't mean that it will not help them. They can take your advice, and interpret it their own way. It can give them a new outlook.
And you can always try. And if you do not succeed, it was not your fault, because you were there for that person. And they will always appreciate what you did for them, even if they do not show it right away.
I can empathize with you on this. You do everything you can for someone, you give it your all. And it still is not enough. But you did all that you could with the limits you have -- that being that you only know this person through your computer.
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Posted: Wed Mar 11, 2009 2:30 pm
I'd like to agree with the above posts, but the fact is that you didn't give us enough information to make a truly logical reply, and maybe you can't without breaking confidence, or feeling as though you did. You presented us a matter of morals rather than a matter of practicality and it's against my code of ethics to answer those, at least in the way they're asked.
What I will tell you is that if you bother to look around, there are resources out there. My family and I had to find many of them just to live, but there are many more. I have no idea what to do in the case you presented, because I don't know it from a donkey's a**, but in most cases, your best bet is to look around, ask around and learn what's out there.
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