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 Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 5:20 pm
God. I'm so mad at myself. Normally I'm a very laid-back person. Very little gets to me. I normally don't complain that much, because people who complain get on my ********' nerves. But lately I've been complaining to my boyfriend, basically the most patient and most understanding person ever, about stuff he can do nothing about. I want him to spend more time with me. (We've been dating for a year and a month and some odd days, and yesterday was the first time I kissed him all year. Funny story, actually... Anyway.) Neither of us can drive because we're both fifteen. His parents work full-time, so he can't invite me over. So that's obviously not his fault, but I've said something about him not caring enough to come over every time I talked to him on the phone this week. And that is so not fair. Who am I to say that I care more about him?
I have NEVER wanted to be the type of girlfriend you dread talking to. The kind who complains no matter what you do. High maintanence, annoying. And yet that's exactly what I've been doing.
This is crazy, but I am so afraid of losing him. Like he hasn't proved himself enough over the corse of a year to prove me wrong every single day. Why do I worry so much? Is there such a thing as loving a person too much?
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Posted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 11:51 am
now that you know what you are doing... stop the cycle. apologize to him. and let him know that you love and care about him.
Alot of times I know that I have gone too far when my fiance just kinda sits there and stares off into space when I complain. when I see what just happened, i stop and say out loud "why am i going on about this, it is not helping the situation at all" then i go over and tell him i'm sorry, kiss him and thank him for listing to me b***h.
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Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2009 6:17 pm
I have apologized. And I did tell him I love him. So I guess we're good? I just... I don't know. I feel like once something is said it makes the other person change perspective forever until you change it again. I can't fix what I said, I can just say something else and hope it catches.
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Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2009 8:25 pm
thats the thing with life... there is no pause, rewind, or undo button.
there is just the moment. the here and now. you can make all the plans you want to make, but in the blink of an eye everything can change for the better or worse.
try asking him how he feels. does he feel closer to you now, or farther apart than when you were first starting out.
If you feel that you are drifting apart, that could be a sign that you are changing, and everyone is entitled to change.
change does not have to be a bad thing. Just keep in mind that you are still young and you have your whole life in front of you.
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