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 Posted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 6:15 pm
Comments are welcomed. I wish I had the guts to kick Matt in the ******** balls!
I ******** hate him! He's such an a*****e!
My respect for him has gone down a whole ******** lot!
I really wish I was able to b***h him out, and let him know how much he's hurting me.
Maybe I should switch classes to get away from him....
No, then he'll think that he won.
GAH!
I don't really want to explain what happened, all I'm saying is that he's a ******** a*****e.
I DON'T like him anymore.
Sure, he's cute, but I don't ******** like him.
Maybe I never did.
Maybe it was the physical attraction.
Nah, I liked him, for many reasons.
But now I hate him for many reasons.
I almost cried at school today.
I wanted to so badly.
I feel like crying now.
Things I wish I had right now:
A cigarette and my blade.
Can we go back to kindergarden when cutting meant stealing a spot in line.
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Posted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 9:45 pm
I know you didn't explain alot about it, but it sounds like a really rough day nonetheless.
If you feel like crying, cry. I find alot of the time that crying is a really great physical and emotional release.
I hope you feel better soon. heart
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Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 2:36 pm
@ Evaliscity Crying doesn't come easily to me anymore. My cutting took place of it, and now I just can't get it out. Bleh, today didn't go well. I wanted to stay mad at Matt, but that didn't work out.
In health, we joked around again, but I was being serious. I only said it in a sarcastic tone.
Dammit.
I wish I was brave enough to stand up to the guy I despise/like.
GAH!
I went to the dentist today, and the dentist poked at my swelling gums...
OH MY ******** GOD!!!!!!!!
It hurt so ******** much, it was rediculous. It was bleeding, and Iwent all tense.
I can't believe he did that...
I started crying...grr....
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Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 3:18 pm
Quote: Crying doesn't come easily to me anymore. My cutting took place of it, and now I just can't get it out. Hm, sounds like you need a different outlet altogether until you can cry again.
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Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 3:36 pm
I know, I know, but nothing seems to work :[
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Posted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 5:36 pm
Maybe I should give up on looking for love.
Because it doesn't seem to want to be found.
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Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 2:17 pm
Peace.Love.Happiness.
My confidence
Gets lower by the second
Everytime
You look at me
I want to say
Exactly what's on my mind
I'm lost
Can't you see?
Maybe I should give up on looking for love
Because it doesn't seem to want to be found
Loneliness is the key
To suicidal tendencies
The ones you give
To me
Life is full of memories
That I hope will soon fade away
So I can forget you
Forget you...
Maybe I should give up on looking for love
Because it doesn't seem to want to be found
There's nothing like
Peace
Love and
Happiness
Things that I always miss
Peace
Love
Happiness
A girl can only wish.
Maybe I should give up on looking for love
Because it doesn't seem to want to be found
Peace.Love.Happiness.
NO STEALING
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Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 7:27 pm
So Run That Blade Across Your Skin
It's The Only Thing You Know How to Do
The Pain You Feel Deep Within
Can Leave Your Thoughts Behind You
Draw the pictures, make those lines
Anything to keep you from crying
Spread the blood across your sink
To make sure you aren't dying
The sense of pain relieves your mind
And pushes your emotions back
Now keep that blade coming
And forget about the things that you lack
You're fat, ugly, and stupid
Some things you should never be
No one's going to like you
Self-mutilations isn't normal, can't you see
Feel the blood flow down your arm
Feel the sting of pain rush through your veins
I hope you feel better now
And get rid of all your pain
Push it harder
Run it farther
Spread the skin even more
Just another
You're a cutter
But you don't care anymore
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Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 4:17 pm
I'm going to end up letting him continue to bring me down....
But why?
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Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2009 9:40 am
dont give up there love, sounds like you have been tossed around a bit though. listen to what your heart is saying, but dont try and discern an definite answer from it unless that answer makes you feel correct, both at the time you find it and for some time afterward. by your heart i mean your soul, its truth is invaluable for understanding how you feel and sometimes even what to do.
anger and rage never serve a purpose for us people, remember they are worthless and useless things.
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Posted: Thu Apr 30, 2009 4:46 pm
Everything that has happened in the past two months, all the way until today, has got me thinking.
I haven't felt this bad since last year...
I haven't cut this much since last year...
I haven't freaked out on people this much since last year ...
I haven't smoked this much since last year...
I haven't hated myself this much since last year...
When I was very suicidal...
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