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 Posted: Sat Jan 24, 2009 8:08 pm
Well, here's the thing. I suffer from post traumatic stress disorder as a result of being sexually assaulted a year and a half ago. Before that, I was heterosexual. But after that, I started hating the thought of being touched, hating hugs, and now I feel no attraction to any gender whatsoever, and the thought of sex just repulses me.
My question is.. does this make me Asexual? I've been doing a bit of research on the subject and I still don't really have an idea of what I am. I know the sudden change was because of trauma, but I'm just really confused about who I am now.
I have a therapist and we've broached on the subject before, but I can't talk about it without having panic attacks. Besides, it seems I'm always busy talking about other things such as my eating disorder or my ocd with her to bring it up again.
I know that this trauma is making things worse in those areas as well, but I'm just really confused at the moment.
Anyway, that was a bit of a long rant there. Just looking for a little bit of insight, or maybe someone that's had a similar experience? Thanks a bunch.
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Posted: Sun Jan 25, 2009 11:19 am
Well I am asexual, and from what you said, you explained asexuality.
I think a lot of things can go into someones sexuality.... I think people are born a way.... Like i was born asexual, and you said you were born heterosexual. BUT I also think that events in someones life can change their minds.... Like in your case, you have PTSD, caused by a bad experience.... it may be that that experience is so horrible and scary to you, it pushed you away from ever being straight again, much less sexual of any kind.
Example would be my moms friend... when my mom met her, she had already become lesbian. My mom asked her why because my mom is naive. Turns out her first husband, used to rape her every night.... and eventually guys started to scare her. So, she went lesbian, cause to her, girls are safer than guys.
I think events in someones life can change them.... maybe one day you will stop being as afraid, and maybe not. You just need to accept who you are - you are you. Its not a big deal if you're not heterosexual anymore, or if your asexual. As long as you understand and come to terms with who you are.
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Posted: Sun Jan 25, 2009 12:12 pm
Thank you so much, that was a really helpful answer. I can see now that it's not really my sexuality that I should be focusing on, but the reasons behind it.
I'll definitely have a discussion with my therapist about it, I guess the best way to deal with it is to talk about it.
Thanks again!
=)
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Posted: Sun Jan 25, 2009 1:53 pm
Don't sweat it. After being sexually abused, a lot of folks shy away from sexuality in general. Someday, when there's someone very special in your life, you might want to work much harder towards recovery in that particular area. Until then, I'd say that your eating disorder is a more pressing matter.
On a positive note, remember that you're not alone. Half the population undergoes some sort of sexual assault before they're even eighteen years old. Half the world knows the horrific suffering you went through and continue to go through. In these tough times when you don't know who you are, there will ALWAYS be SOMEONE out there to talk to who knows what you're dealing with.
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Posted: Sun Jan 25, 2009 2:45 pm
Evaliscity Thank you so much, that was a really helpful answer. I can see now that it's not really my sexuality that I should be focusing on, but the reasons behind it. I'll definitely have a discussion with my therapist about it, I guess the best way to deal with it is to talk about it. Thanks again! =) Yes, I would certainly talk to the therapist about it. Not only will talking help you, but he/she could help guide you in a way that will hopefully help you feel comfortable again. And like Dr. Awkward said, you are not alone... A lot of people have been abused in one way or another, half the population. Just remember that - you are not alone. You have people behind you who will support you. (:
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Posted: Tue Jan 27, 2009 8:53 pm
Thank you so much, both of you. I'll definitely keep your words in mind =)
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Posted: Sun Feb 01, 2009 3:17 pm
I know I'm a little bit late to replying, but I thought I'd put my two cents in.
I have to agree with the other posts. It is possible to be turned into another sexual orientation.
I was emotionally and somewhat sexually abused in 2007. I had the hardest time dealing with it. I went to the police, but they didn't do crap, so I had to go back into therapy for it. I was already seeing a therapist for my other conditions, but I had to see a different therapist that was able to help me more with that. I was heterosexual before that happened, but now I'm bisexual due to the fact that I was turned to girls for quite a while. And now, if any boy talks to me or touches me in a way where I feel violated or scared, I curl back up and go back to therapy for a while.
I believe you can be born with a sexual orientation, grow up to be a certain one, or have something happen that could trigger a different orientation - the last one being your case.
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Posted: Sun Feb 01, 2009 3:36 pm
Just to be clear, I never once agreed that one can be turned from one orientation to another.
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Posted: Sun Feb 01, 2009 3:40 pm
Ah, my bad! I misinterpreted what you said.
(I tend to do that a lot, so if I'm wrong just tell me.)
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Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2009 3:57 pm
Chocaholic Beverage Ah, my bad! I misinterpreted what you said.
(I tend to do that a lot, so if I'm wrong just tell me.)
It's quite alright. As I mentioned before, the question of orientation is of the least significance at this point.
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