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Today, my sister was apparently mad at me for the fact that I told my parents that my other sister is getting into weed...

The fight started in the kitchen. She started going on and on asking "Why do you care?" and saying "You never cared about Julie before this happened" and "You don't even know her!" etc... basically saying I'm a horrible sister and human, saying that I don't care about Julie... Which is completely incorrect. Anyways, my way of dealing with confrontation and fights in general is I walk away... So I tried to walk away, I walked into the bathroom, she followed still saying how horrible I am... I said "Please stop" and walked into the living room...

She followed still continuing... I said please stop again, and walked away.... she followed still talking and running her mouth. I turned around and said "Stop now" and walked away... she went into her room still yelling so I went over and closed her bedroom door. She came out screaming at me about how dare I close her bedroom door and kept saying "Its true, you dont care about her" so I said "Shut up" she didnt stop, so I turned around and punched her in the stomach.

Not hard, but I did. She went down like a sack of potatoes pretending to cry. Dad came out and said "What the hell is going on?" and Melissa was all "SHE PUNCHED ME" doesn't matter that what she was saying was hurting me, she pretended to have it hurt, fake cried, and got my dad to be pissed at me....

I'm not saying hitting her was correct, I regretted it right from the second it happened... But I didnt know what else to do I asked her to stop like four or five times and she kept going... I dont do verbal fights, I always lose. My way of dealing with a fight is to walk away. I tried walking away. She kept following....

What should I have done? What should I do?

I regret letting her move in with me already...

Any advice would be helpful...

Hmm. Well if she wouldn't stop the fight when you clearly communicated that you did not want to engage in it, several times, then you were right to put an end to it any way you were able.

Personally, I regret not punching more people when I was younger and could get away with it without legal ramifications. That's just me though.

What I would like to know, is why your father did not stop the fight when he heard shouting? Is he hard of hearing? I ask this in all seriousness. I mean, my wife is deaf in her right ear...

But a responsible parent would have poked his head in to at least find out what was going on instead of belatedly shuffling in after someone had already gotten hurt.

Perhaps punching her wasn't an idea solution but it wasn't exactly an ideal situation either. I mean, look on the bright side. At least you didn't hit her in the face or injure her. Perhaps if you could remind your father to be more aware when people are shouting at each other in the house? You know, to make sure the situation doesn't have to escalate like that?

I don't even care what the argument was about, because frankly I don't have a problem with weed. I just hope she's not being cheated by her dealer. Our neighbours buy the most dreadful stuff. Give her clothing a sniff. It should have an herbal scent to it. It should not smell like burning cowshit, melting plastic, or hairspray from the bowels of Hell. If it smells like poop, chances are her dealer's cutting the product with additives to save money. The fillers are the real menace here, not the actual marijuana.

I know I have every right to tell my dad but he wont listen. She pretended I had hit her so hard it knocked her over and fake cried... He says he isn't mad at me anymore, but I'm sure she has convinced everyone by now I'm some abusive SOB who beat the s**t out of her...

Yes, I agree she is spoiled. She is also just like my mom. She runs her mouth, doesn't know when to shut up, and when she loses the fight she never really loses. Hence it will come back to haunt me for the rest of my life. She doesn't know this thing called forgiveness. There is not forgive and forget in her.

I tried to talk to dad, he doesn't want to listen to it at all. Best I could get is we are having a meeting basically telling her shape up else she's out. She has to get a job that will pay the rent, stop asking me for money for food, stop being mean to me, and stop leaving messes everywhere.... She has said she doesn't have to listen to me. So I told dad either he talks to her, or I'm out. Cause I cannot deal with her ever. Shes too mean.

Background - She is the sister who woke up in the morning, and started a fight with my mom. I heard her start it, it woke me up. Anyways my mom kept saying shut up, Melissa wouldn't so all mom did was put her hand over Melissa's mouth. Pretty soon it turned into OMG MOM ABUSED ME AND HURT ME SO IM NOT COMING HOME EVER AGAIN! And she didn't come home for a week. Well last night her friend Kyle was at our house and dad heard her say a couple things. So I'm betting Kyle is all pissed at me for it even though he doesn't know the real story.

I tried... well more like when she first started in on me I said "Wait, I dont care thats why I told my parents?" and then she went on and on... Im telling you guys, there is no fighting with her. She will always win. she thinks she is right and everyone in the world is wrong... Didn't matter what I did, I was trapped by her trying to pin me down for s**t she isn't even involved in....

I think I will tell her when I say stop and walk away, that means really stop... I mean to me it's pretty obvious when someone says stop or walks away it means they are done, but maybe she's not catching onto my subtle signals?

As for talking to the sister who is on drugs... The problem is she is sooo secretive. There is not talking to her either she just denies everything. Trust me I tried. I went to my parents as a last resort cause I know they will watch her and make sure she gets help...

Your advice is helpful, when I go home I shall talk to Melissa maybe.... Tell her I dont appreciate her following me around continuing to fight...

I dont condone violence either.

I honestly think flicking water at her, will just piss her off, wouldn't it?

Well I guess as a shock factor... I'm just worried she'd get more pissed about that. I will try it next time she starts on me, and if it doesn't work then it doesn't. Nothing to lose really, is there?

I think you're awesome for holding out that long. Sometimes, you just snap, you know? There's nothing you could have really done, she shouldn't have kept bothering you about it.

I believe I would have punched and/or bitten her much sooner than you took action.

it is understandable why you snapped and hit her, but it is not neccesarily correct. there are much better ways to handle these situations, and the larger the number of incorrectly handled situations makes the future bad situations all the more difficult to handle correctly.

my advice to you is to do a basic rethinking of yourself and your emotions. emotions such as anger, resentment, hate etc. are not emotions that are in any way, shape, or form positive for anyone, except sometimes for the user of these emotions at the exact time they feel them. do not let these emotions creep into your heart. rather they should be replaced with acceptance, pity, and sympathy. accept that your sister is the type of person she is, by accept i mean realize it fully without the influence of those aforementioned negative emotions. then you must pity her, just think how horrible it would be if you were her, to be that kind of person would be terrible. then you must sympathize with her, for no matter how many layers of ugly behavior and attitude she creates at the very base of her identity she is a soul, and souls are precious and wonderful. look through all those layers and with sympathy help her to see the same view you see when looking through them.

how i would have handled that situation is as follows. when she began to attack me for notifying my parents that my other sister was doing self-harming things i would have first apologized to her, not for telling my parents, but for doing an action that upset her (although i am not sorry for helping my other sister in that way). i would then explain with kind words why i did the action of telling my parents that, the motives behind it etc. afterwards i would finish by apologizing once more for doing somehting to upset her, but it was the only thing i could think to do at the time to try and save my younger sister. once i had fully explained myself i would ask her to please help me in saving our younger sister (because she had said that i dont 'know' my younger sister enough to have justifiably done what i did i would ask her to lend her knowledge of our younger sister and share it with me so that we can both come up with a plan of action that would best benefit our younger sibling) if she was unwilling to desist in attacking me i would simply sit there and listen to what she said until she ran out of steam, and if asked to provide an answer in a provocative manner i would defer not to answer said question and say that i wouldnt answer it because i do not want to upset her any more than i already had. once she was done i would give her a smile and thank her for caring so much for our sister and for putting such feeling behind that caring. if she would let me i would give her a hug and apologize once more, not for the action itself, but for upsetting her.