We're all old enough to enjoy Sesame Street, right~? Well, here's a clip I think you'll enjoy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8rCx6Ne2uoAfter watching that, imagine if Cookie Monster had been starved and deprived of his beloved cookies for. . . say. . . eight years or more. In that time, his worst fears are met and his expectations have been lowered to the point where he dreams of a single crumb that might have just a hint of chocolate. Poor Cookie Monster, will he have to find a new name to fit his bereaved state~?
In comes Ernie, bag in hand, talking about something Cookie Monster kinda forgot about for a while -- hope. Wouldn't that explain Cookie Monster's one-track mind and why he couldn't imagine the bag to be full of crayons or tacks~? It would be unconscionably cruel for there to be anything other than a cookie.
In the version of events portrayed in the video, Cookie Monster's hopes were surpassed. Surely children don't need Sesame Street to teach them about disappointment, right~? That's why I present to you a few proposed alternative endings:
1. The bag contains a Welfare application, but due to Welfare Reform, Mr. Monster has to work despite his bereaved state just to get the ingredients to bake his cookies, since it's cheaper to make them from scratch. By the time our working class hero gets home, he's too tired to bake. His only solution is to go over budget and buy his cookies prepackaged, so his bills consequently piles up and he loses his home.
2. The bag contains directions to a private charity. Though funded by the government, charities are highly inconsistent. A charity may have only beans and no rice one week, then the next, all rice and no beans. Cookie Monster's suffering is minimally mitigated.
3. The bag contains an enrollment form for college. Though Cookie Monster is still relying on his old, unreliable means of support, he has a chance to learn a field which could earn him some cookie money. The continuing problem of outsourcing has to be taken into account, which leaves physically taxing fields. Since Cookie Monster's health is shot from starvation, it's Russian Roulette either way.
4. The bag's got a draft card. It's off to Iraq you go, Private Monster. Maybe even Pakistan by the looks of things. You'll be in the desert before they even know you're a disabled conscientious objector. Say hi to Osama bin Laden for me, soldier.
Please add your own thoughts or alternative endings. Thank you.
Reply
