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Zeddicuus

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 7:37 pm


Found this in an older copy of my point notes for my book that I thought I'd share.


Ragdoll

Foolish ragdoll dressed in black
made of fibers coarse and rough.
Long brown hair hides an awful face
yet you're first in the child's pack?

Black gloves to protect against a black world,
or perhaps to protect a world white.
Cold eyes look like you don't care
but perhaps you just might?

Foolish ragdoll you've seen better days
and perhaps you've seen worse ones too.
Who would have thought the child to betray
proves loyalty rarely pays?

But a treasure lost is a treasure found
to have the filthy doll scooped up.
Taken into the care of another soul
yet the pain of betrayal will pound.

To cope with loss, betrayal and pain
a ragdoll mended washed and cared.
Yet still in black, with eyes still cold
but a feeling of happiness again?

Foolish ragdoll dressed in black
shoddily built and just as shabbily kempt.
With long brown hair and a scowl against the world
perhaps the scowl is for itself?

Black gloves to protect a black soul
or perhaps black gloves to protect a world pristine.
Cold mismatched eyes glare to keep away
but is it others from you?

Blades strapped to your back to shed blood
never means they're items of violence.
As redemption is but skin deep in your mind
and spread your filth on a world pristine?

Foolish ragdoll dressed in black
covered in the dirt of years of hard use.
Perhaps if it could not look so stern
the world may accept it.
PostPosted: Wed Jan 28, 2009 8:30 pm


Is this yours? Wow, it is really well-polished. I must say you have done a very good job crafting it. I get a real sense of...well, let's see, coldness from it. Like a cold wooden room that needs a fire to warm it up. Like something stark and gothic. This is very nicely done.

Umaeril
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Zeddicuus

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 7:29 am


Thanky very much mrgreen I got a similar sense from reading it back to myself after having it tucked away for a year.

I rather liked it myself. It's in with notes for my novel and I forgot all about it, as it's written on a page of randomness. It's actually about one of the characters and how rather detached from society and himself he is. I thought it described the character very well.

I'm glad you liked it.
PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 5:02 pm


*wonders where the novel is and when it will get done*

Umaeril
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Zeddicuus

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PostPosted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 9:51 pm


Most of it is still in my head/ in a few notebooks in a state of randomness. I've had three general plot revisions since I first started, and half of a notebook is a variety of drawings, sketches, historical background and references and character descriptions. There's a good amount of technical explanations in there too, such as how magic works in this world and the inner circles of the spirits of the world. Probably more random stuff in those books than stuff on the novel itself hahaha.

Good example of that is the image in my Signature. That's the emblem used by a Knighthood in my novel and the words are there merely to explain the significance of each part of the cross. I have a full explanation of the Knights of the Moon in my journal that I wrote up.

It's slowly taking shape. Some days it's harder to work on than others though. But I feel it's coming along alright. Maybe once spring hits I'll have more free time to work on it in the evenings once we're settled into our new house. I can't wait to move in. Just needs some renovation.
PostPosted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 5:20 am


I love the thought that you are writing a novel and actually have something substantial. I hope it works out for you. If you ever need a discrete sounding board for your magical system I am happy to try to poke holes in it.

Umaeril
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Zeddicuus

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 7:52 pm


I can do that. I could probably post it here sometime so a lot of people can read it and get opinions on it. It'll take some time to write it all up, I remember the explanation being several pages long.

I think I have too many thoughts bouncing in my head sometimes that have no real importance, hahaha. Probably a good thing at least.
PostPosted: Thu Feb 12, 2009 3:01 pm


Zeddicuus
I can do that. I could probably post it here sometime so a lot of people can read it and get opinions on it. It'll take some time to write it all up, I remember the explanation being several pages long.

I think I have too many thoughts bouncing in my head sometimes that have no real importance, hahaha. Probably a good thing at least.

I love poking holes in magical pseudoscience. I also like finding ways to make it work. Do post it, or if you are afraid of getting ripped of just post it in here.

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Beyond the Sunset - The Arts

 
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