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 Posted: Sat Jan 17, 2009 10:56 am
ok, so. before my mum and dad together, my mum owned her own home and had money in the bank. my dad was married to another woman, tracy, and had two children nat and sam. Tracy had to get an extra minimum wage job when sam was a month old because my dad was running them into debt.
Then him and my mum got together, mum had to sell her house, and remorgage the new one 6 times because of my dad gambling and drinking and buying holidays for himself.
My dad wanted nothing to do with nat or sam, and it was only my mum getting into arguments with him, making sure he paid matenence and invited them over etc that made him have any contact with them.
At the time, my dad earned double my mum, but spent it all on horses and black and reds, so the house was on one income; my mums.
My mum got as much overtime as she could, and the stress gave her a stroke, the doctor there said she had to get to a hospital, but it would have been quicker if my dad (who worked there at the time) drove her to the hospital instead of waiting for an ambulance. he left her and her work mate (came to help) at a bus stop and drove off. i honestly think he was trying to send her insane.
She finally had enough of it so she left with me and my other sister janet and moved into a flat, taking the 90,000 pound (about $132,579) with her, so that he had no debt and a 36,000 pound taxi (he quit his job because of the "stress"). they got back to gether 3 months later, he was 16k in debt.
They split up again, and hes now refusing to pay maintenence for me, claiming he doesnt earn much as a taxi driver (while they were together, he got £750 in 10 hour shift), and my other sisters husband said that he spends £50 daily on horses, because they go to the same bookies.
But my problem is nat and sam, dads family has never liked my mum much, and theyve got it in their head that its all my mums fault, and they're not bothering with us anymore. it doesnt really bother me, because ive already washed my hands of them, but its got my mum really upset because shes never treated them as anything less than her own children.
is there anything i can do?
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Posted: Sat Jan 17, 2009 10:31 pm
There is not much you can do. Help her move on in life, tell her that they arn't the important ones and point her in the direction you think is right, instead of letting her face the past.
The past should be behind her, and if she's facing backwards, she's not going to move forward. That's what needs to happen in alot of peoples' lives right now, they need to move forward, instead of walking backwards and looking at the past.
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Posted: Sun Jan 18, 2009 5:12 pm
no offence, but your dad's a jerk.
however, your mom is a super hero. take care of her, help her out anyway you can, and tell her not to sweat the small stuff, or listen to your father's other family, because they have no idea what they're talking about. what your mom needs most is a vacation, but it doesn't sound like that's happening anytime soon, so just be there for her. she probably would love to hear that you love and appreciate her.
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