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a poem

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Lavender Divination

PostPosted: Wed Dec 10, 2008 8:12 am


I have a lot of these but I'm a little paranoid about things being stolen. Probably silly but still..X_X. Anyway, I'm going to post this one just to see if it's any good. I only have my Mum to look at my poems so I'm curious to see what other people think. ^_^


I Am

I rush.
Over mountains, over seas.
Through the emptiness of space.
I transcend.
All things you see, all things you don't.
Through the eternity of time.

What am I?

I soar.
Across the sky, across the clouds.
Sailing upwards on invisible wings.
I drift.
Down the river, down the bank.
Floating in the peaceful coolness.

What am I?

I scream.
Call on fire, call on hate.
Lashing out in fury.
I whisper.
Words of heat, words of love.
Writhing in the agony of pleasure.

What am I?

I sing.
Shreds of darkness, shards of beauty.
A poem painted in blood.
I reach.
For the night, for the moon.
Watching the dance of stars.

What am I?

I understand.
The impossible, the unexplained.
Peering through dimensional doorways.
I see.
Another's soul, another's heart.
Stare through new eyes at brilliant auras.

What am I?

I despair.
They misunderstand, they despise.
I walk the brink of society.
I love.
Things unseen, things untamed.
I walk in the company of cast offs.

What am I?

I am human.
PostPosted: Thu Dec 11, 2008 6:56 am


That's very beautiful, I love the repetition of 'what am I?' and the simple first and middle lines of the stanzas ('I rush', etc.) This is really top stuff, and I'm doing a course full of this stuff so I should know. ^^

Mistress Procellifer
Captain


Lavender Divination

PostPosted: Fri Dec 12, 2008 9:19 am


Mistress Procellifer
That's very beautiful, I love the repetition of 'what am I?' and the simple first and middle lines of the stanzas ('I rush', etc.) This is really top stuff, and I'm doing a course full of this stuff so I should know. ^^


*blush* thank you! Now if I could only get it published! lol. Your review makes me feel more confident (I'm always overly critical of myself), so thank you very much!
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The Creative Sector

 
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