|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sun Dec 07, 2008 6:28 pm
hehe, gotta love alliteration
I have a whole heap of amusing answers that I found somewhere in my email inbox!
These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a sense of humour
__________________________________________________
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? ( UK ).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
__________________________________________________
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA )
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
__________________________________________________
Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden )
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
__________________________________________________
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia ? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane , Cairns ,Townsville and HerveyBay ? ( UK )
A: What did your last slave die of?
__________________________________________________
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? ( USA )
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe .
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not
... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked
__________________________________________________
Q: Which direction is North in Australia ? ( USA )
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
_________________________________________________
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( UK )
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
__________________________________________________
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is ...
oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
__________________________________________________
Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia ? ( UK )
A: You are a British politician, right?
____________________________ ______________________
Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? ( Germany )
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers.
Milk is illegal.
__________________________________________________
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can Dispense rattlesnake serum. ( USA )
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from.
All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
__________________________________________________
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia , but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. ( USA )
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them.
You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
__________________________________________________
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia ? ( USA )
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
__________________________________________________
Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male popula tion? ( Italy )
A: Yes, gay night clubs.
__________________________________________________
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? ( France )
A: Only at Christmas.
__________________________________________________
Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the Girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross*. Can you help? ( USA )
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour..
__________________________________________________
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Dec 07, 2008 8:02 pm
Ahh yes, so many times I have done similar.
Q: Do you ride in your kangaroos pouch???
A: Yes, HIS pouch is more convinient and less slippery than HIS back.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Queen of Spoons Vice Captain
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Dec 08, 2008 3:06 am
iMuso Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia ? ( USA ) A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather. __________________________________________________ Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male popula tion? ( Italy ) A: Yes, gay night clubs. __________________________________________________ Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the Girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross*. Can you help? ( USA ) A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.. Love these three. I always have a stupid/sarcastic/funny/witty remark for anything. It's kinda part of the Aussie spirit to stir other people up, especially those who ask stupid questions.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Dec 08, 2008 4:20 am
I think it's just a natural Aussie thing to make fun of people. Must be genetic...
|
|
|
|
|
|
Queen of Spoons Vice Captain
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Dec 09, 2008 4:36 am
Yeah. Some Americans I chat to think I'm having a go. They're so serious sometimes.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Dec 09, 2008 5:10 am
That gets reeeeeeeally annoying sometimes
-- Pimped by Garethp
|
|
|
|
|
|
Queen of Spoons Vice Captain
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Dec 09, 2008 10:57 pm
Reminds me of Carl Barron or is it Baron? anyway when he talks about Australians.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Dec 10, 2008 5:00 am
I prefer hearing Rodney Rude talking to Americans. They get offended by his jokes, but they're just harmless xd
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Queen of Spoons Vice Captain
|
Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2008 1:35 am
Americans seem to take everything so seriously!! British people are worse though...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2008 3:38 pm
Some British people I know are fairly easygoing. Some are too prim and proper though.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Queen of Spoons Vice Captain
|
Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 10:37 pm
My favourite British people are Jeremy Clarkson, James May and Richard Hammond XD
If you know where these people are from I will love you forever.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2008 6:04 am
Queen of Spoons My favourite British people are Jeremy Clarkson, James May and Richard Hammond XD If you know where these people are from I will love you forever. Top Gear, there way better than our top gear crew IMO
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Queen of Spoons Vice Captain
|
Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2008 6:25 am
OMG I love you....
And they are infinitely better than our Aussie wannabes...
Did you see the last episode of the Aussie one where the put it on the "What Were They Thinking" board??
Classic ^^
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2008 9:08 pm
Is this the part where I post my undying love for UK Top Gear? heart
...and my undying loathing for Top Gear Australia? Seriously...that was bad. xp
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Queen of Spoons Vice Captain
|
Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2008 9:37 pm
Oh definitely!
I think it's funny that May is by far the funniest person on that show...
Although Clarkson getting into that tiny car with three wheels one time was fantastic XD
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
