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Rumplestyltskin Vice Captain
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 Posted: Fri Nov 28, 2008 11:59 pm
I am contributing to the whole relationship phase that is sweeping this guild (we should have a sub forum just for this lol)
I am dating this guy (obvious) and I have been with him for nine months now. My dilemma:
I'm still 16 and he's 20
I do love him, but
Like I said, still 16 I'm not ready for settling down just yet.
Whenever I say something about it to him it's like he gives me a secret guilt trip.
He doesn't come right out and say what hes feeling, but I can tell when he's upset and it happens ever time I've tried.
My eldest sister hates him and wants me to leave him, but she won't come right out and say it.
AND to top that off we get in petty quarrels over NOTHING and it all gets blamed on ME!
My parents put it off on me, and as I'm typing this my computer is making weird noises and the only window I have open is this one and it's freaking me out. anyways They take his side al the time and I've slapped him a couple of time because of it.
So here's the other issue.
In general most girls and guys know what 15+ boys think about.
So finding another bf won't be trouble, but a honest one is a hassle hints the reason I'm with the one I have now, although sometimes I just wanna kill him.
I asked him what was the first thing he noticed on me and he said he noticed my boobs THEN my face.
I asked him again a few months down the road and he said, "Oh, I noticed your face etc."
So is it true your first answer is generally (without thinking) the honest answer you have first?
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Posted: Mon Dec 01, 2008 7:14 pm
Ehh... I'm not sure if a 20 year-old would want to settle down so soon either. And if he does, I'd honestly question why he's so adamant about it. There's a hell lot of life ahead of him and he's already thinking about being with one person for the rest of his life? Plus his current main priority in life should be academic/career-related not relationship-related. For my 32-year old boyfriend and 25-year old me, this is still our priority because if you really want to think long-term, you're going to have to acquire the means to feed your future kids.
As for your mentioning this to him, he really needs to be more direct with you. I cannot imagine a relationship where either or both people involved are constantly beating around the bush. If something like this upsets him and he's dealing with it in this method, think about what's going to happen if a bigger problem pops up. If he really wants to stay with you, he should start putting in the effort to make the relationship work, and that includes giving you the freedom you need.
I'm not too sure if your sister is that big of a problem though. Why's she so concerned about your relationship? It doesn't sound abusive to me. Sure, your relationship has problems but all relationships do. If she wants to be nit-picky, let her be and ignore her.
And about your boobs, that's just the first impression. I don't buy first impressions... ever. I hate it when people judge based on first impressions because it's so dehumanizing. I hate it when a first impression is even taken into account. So maybe your boobs were what attracted him to you. That doesn't matter. What matters is that as he discovered more about you, he learned to love you.
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shall she sail seas Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue Dec 02, 2008 5:22 am
NomNomNominal maybe your boobs were what attracted him to you. That doesn't matter. What matters is that as he discovered more about you, he learned to love you. I'm going to have to agree with nomnomnominal. When a woman has big breasts or is flashing clevage, it's hard not to notice. If a man was walking around with an unusually large boner, or was wearing low cut jeans, and then had them really low and show was showing a little boner clevage ... what would you notice first? His face or that? Just because it's socially acceptable to flah at little clevage doesnt mean it's any less sexual, and such things are had to control. And i know this is going to sound bad, but boobs and a** are more exciting than face, so why do women expect men to stare at the not-so-exciting part of the woman first? But the important thing is he went beyond and tried to find the personality, and thats all you can hope for.
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Posted: Sat Dec 06, 2008 7:26 am
ahhh i see i see well i shall talk to him
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Rumplestyltskin Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue Dec 16, 2008 12:16 pm
Lol, wow.. that is quite interesting indeed! I think that the sister bugging in, the boob issue and the little quarrels are something everyone has had problems with in their relationships. It defintely helps figure out between you two how you will deal with little issues. I am a bit wierded out that he wants to settle down? He shouldn't be he's only 20 and you are only 16! Both ages are still way to young for both of you to be thinking about being together forever.. sort of thing. I think that you guys sound like a happy, a little rough with itty-bitty issues here and there, but good couple. :3
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