|
|
|
|
|
|
|
colonel chic Vice Captain
|
 Posted: Sat Nov 22, 2008 1:47 pm
I love waking up and feeling like you're not there.
. I love feeling the cold wrack my bones to the point i can't breath.
.. I love hearing my voice crackle up under pressure as i sing at the top of my lungs.
... I love feeling everyday that i'm going to wake up in the middle of the night, pack my bag, and feel cold on my face for days.
.... I love watching you walk away from me, leaving me behind like a dusty old doll you'll never play with again.
..... I love never speaking my mind.
...... I love feeling like no one can ever take me seriously, like i'm just a simple-minded fool with only one feeling of love and humor. I love to hate what i love to love.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Nov 22, 2008 8:07 pm
 It's a nice, simple poem, with the exception of the third line. It disrupts the perfect flow you had there. D:> I will edit it then! >: D
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Nov 23, 2008 1:40 pm
I'm not a fan of the third line either, but the last line (yellow) makes it all come together, nice job.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Nov 23, 2008 1:44 pm
101killa I'm not a fan of the third line either, but the last line (yellow) makes it all come together, nice job. Do you mean third line as in 3 periods or third line as 2 periods?
|
|
|
|
|
|
colonel chic Vice Captain
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Nov 23, 2008 1:50 pm
Well, you fixed it anyway, so good job.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Nov 23, 2008 1:52 pm
aerocoryn Well, you fixed it anyway, so good job. okay, just checking. :3
|
|
|
|
|
|
colonel chic Vice Captain
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Orange County Reject Vice Captain
|
Posted: Sun Nov 23, 2008 2:31 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 9:09 am
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 9:11 am
I BET YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING!
(This is fabu, btjew.)
OUT OF THE BOX~
OUT OF THE BOXXXXX.
TAKE ONE BOX, AND PUT IT WITH ANOTHER LET'S SEARCH FOR ONE THAT'S LONG AND WIIIIIIDE.
....okay, I'm done now.
In bed.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 3:48 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
oh everything Vice Captain
|
Posted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 9:03 pm
This is so lovely. :D
I...dunno if this is the third line that everybody else was talking about, but I dig the third line (as in two periods) especially. o__o maaaaybe I'm a weirdo.
and the last line makes it all come together so neatly.
good work sarah-doll.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Nov 26, 2008 10:00 am
Super Euro Flash This is so lovely. : D I...dunno if this is the third line that everybody else was talking about, but I dig the third line (as in two periods) especially. o__o maaaaybe I'm a weirdo. and the last line makes it all come together so neatly. good work sarah-doll. Thank you, Kachie-hon. :'3 (I read your poem-things, and they were muy fabuloso.)
|
|
|
|
|
|
colonel chic Vice Captain
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Dec 01, 2008 5:16 pm
Helloz.
I enjoyed the poem. Kinda struck my little soft side.
ty xD
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
