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Ok - so I have been getting quite frustrated over the past few months, talking with some American Lolita. So many seem to have this wierd idea of lolita in Japan, and I just want to clear some of these Idea's Up..

First, I seen this in the "What is EGL" part of this forum - how many of you have read it and taken it to heart? I love this poem, esspecially the end. i really want you all to read it carefully and think as you read what I have to say.







Some of you may or may not understand why people started dressing lolita in the first place here in Japan. People wanted to be able to express themselves.

Japan in the past, and even now is quite pushy. Almost all schools have uniforms and you as a teen are expected to be the best at everything. This means dressing "proper" and acting in a very reserved way.

This is where most Japanese fashion started - and why many figures like Mana began to dress like this. Every time is see a "Histoy of Lolita" it says nothing about the need to be different. It almost always starts with something about Mana creating the fashion... but really it was around before then. When Mana started - it caught on fast because people began to realize that they too could express themselves.

Oh course this is not just for lolita - MANY fashions, including cosplay though it is not really a fashion - caught on because of this. That is why you wont acctually see that many girls where lolita everyday - its more of a weekend thing or just when you go to harajuku. Some girls will have their everyday clothes inspired by lolita - but some girls dress completely different!

Back to the poem - there is no rules for lolita in Japan - unlike what I have been seeing on many American Lolita forums. "That skirt is too colorful" "That shirt dosnt match" "To many acessories!!"

ITS CRAZY!

I'm not asking you all to change your styles - as long as that is really how you want to express yourselves. I see girls asking on here - do have hae to stop smoking? Can I swear? YES YOU CAN! It's your life - your expression YOUR FASHION! Do what you want with it - dont do it just because someone said you cant be lolita unless you do. As long as you think its lolita, then fine then. Don't worry about others "putting a bad name to lolita" because it dosn't matter what other people think.

In japan, Lolita's are often the center of many jokes, ect. But no one here really cares now do we? We are on midday shows that mothers watch and we are portrayed as being silly or crazy girls. Just like Ganguro girls are seen as not caring about their future and beeing sex crazy - which some may be - but not all right?



Anyway - if you guys have questions you can try to contact me on gaia but I dont come on often anymore.
My e-mail is Nekokan@hotmail.com - which I answer alot more but not everyday. Im happy to answer questions but don't e-mail me to diss me - I'm just telling it how it is. I know some people here understand and agree with me - but I still see some of the girls I want to target with this message.

thanks
Yuki Nekomiya

I'm going to say the same thing I said in the other thread where this was posted.

It's been a long standing "rule" in EVERYTHING in life: "Learn the rules, then break some."

I think that this whole "LET'S MAKE A BIG STATEMENT ABOUT ESCAPE" has been done countless times before. Seriously.
You can have all the punk rock spirit in the world, but if you walk up to your friends with their mohawks and studded plaid jackets, and you're wearing something from Angelic Pretty? They're going to call you crazy and tell you to get bent. Sorry. There's a line with how far you can play with the rules to something, before you are no longer allowed to place it under that label.
I am not saying that you can't have fun with your style. But please, for the love of god, call it 'your style.' Your style might be totally awesome, when it's taken as being a personal statment. But don't call it Lolita, if it isn't Lolita. It's a fashion. All fashions have rules. You can have all of the 'spirit' in the world, but a miniskirt with lace along the bottom won't be Lolita, no matter how many 13 year old girls try to convince me otherwise, under the idea that they ~feel~ Lolita.
It's no different than stating the obvious: that a baby pink and white sundress is not goth, abercrombie and fitch is not punk, and h.naoto is not preppy, or hipster, or whatever.

Despite saying that the fashion has rules, I do not condone the idea that to be a good lolita, you have to wear certain brands, or wear only these few specific colors. I support looking GOOD (no outright tacky color combinations. There's tastefully clashing, and then there's tacky) and following the general rules of things like skirt length, skirt fullness (able to accomodate a petticoat), accentuate natural waist, say no to most fetish heels, etc. Mostly, I support wearing something of good quality-- which yes, might mean telling someone that I disagree with their choice of lace, or choice of fabric. Some fabric and lace gives the appearance of a costume, and Lolita is simply meant to be a refined and expensive fashion-- some corners can be cut, others can't. (A suit jacket you buy from Walmart will not look the same as Armani. But you might find a Chinese seamstress who knows what they're doing who can make an Armani look alike for a small fraction of the price-- the pockets might not be functional, but it's not bound to fall apart like Walmart clothing. And you won't be laughed at, at the next high-formal dinner party you go to, for not being dressed up to par).
Also on the note of quality: I'm a seamstress. I'd rather be satisfied in knowing that I produced a beautiful garment of great quality that will last me for a long time. Quality makes clothes last. If someone immediately asks me "Oh, this is homemade, isn't it?" or "Did you buy it at Party City?" I'm going to assume I did it wrong. I don't want them looking at shoddy craftsmanship. I want them to ask me what high end boutique I bought it from.

I agree that people should respect themselves and others. But that has nothing to do with the fashion. That's a matter of being a nice human being. You'll find nice and not-so-nice people anywhere, and it doesn't matter what clothes they wear.

Now. I am incredibly opposed to the common idea among people, mostly those who are new to the fashion (at least, newer when compared to some of us), who think that a Lolita absolutely has to be polite and sweet.
To back this up, I'm a linguist. From a sociolinguistic standpoint, how a person speaks (in this case: in what level of formality) is determined by many factors: Gender, Age, Social Class, Education, Ethnicity, Peer Group. But not by clothes.
If the Japanese are more polite, it has to do with culture. That doesn't mean that Japanese Lolitas are the model example-- they reflect where they're coming from. American Lolitas are going to reflect all of the noisy American stereotypes. Neither one is right or wrong.
It doesn't matter if you put me in Moi meme Moitie, or Baby the Stars Shine Bright, or jeans and a babydoll t-shirt, or hot pants and a tube top, or bondage pants and a buckle shirt. If my way of acting and speech appears to change, it would be because of whatever peer group I was in, who might share my taste in clothing. That's not exactly likely to happen with Lolita groups, who do not see each other daily. So I'm going to keep talking like a middle class, highly educated, white young woman, with a taste for sharp sarcasm. I'm not going to be 'dissing' any of the clothes I might be wearing if I don't immediately conform to them. I won't offend all of the goths in the world if I put on a steel boned corset and lace skirt, but goddess forbid I don't respect it by fully acting the part. Why? Because with as wide as fashions are spread across the world, across social groups, culture, race, etc, no one will agree on how you're supposed to act.