Disclaimer: I do not own the song `Learning to Fall’ by Martina McBride, nor do I own the characters or original show storyline from the anime/manga Inuyasha by Takahashi Rumiko.
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The Resolution
Chapter 3: Finally…no more walls! Inuyasha ran full-bore back to the village and into Kaede’s hut. No one inside the modest hut would look at him; all twelve eyes were focused solely on the fire burning in front of them in the fire pit, as if it would go out if they looked away. Panting slightly, Inuyasha spoke.
“Kagome, c-can I talk to you?”
All eyes were on him now, but their intensity hadn’t changed one iota. He gulped.
“Outside?”
She got up, made to move toward him; Miroku and Sango followed. He spoke again.
“I meant alone.”
Kagome turned to the others.
“It’s alright,” she said. They stopped moving, but Miroku spoke, his voice low and even, evidence of barely controlled emotion.
“Kagome, can you please step outside? We’d like to have a word with Inuyasha.”
Kagome did so, being unusually quiet. As soon as they thought she was out of human earshot, Miroku and Sango rounded on Inuyasha. Miroku spoke first.
“Inuyasha, I assume since you want to talk to Kagome that you’ve made your choice.”
Inuyasha was still in a bit of shock. Miroku and Sango were looking at him so coldly; it made him want to cower in a corner.
“Yeah, I have,” he said, not looking at Miroku; the floor of the hut was really rather interesting if you took the time to truly look, he realized.
It was Sango’s turn now.
“Inuyasha,” she said and the emotion in her voice caused him to look up at her. She was trying very hard to not let her anger get the better of her, but it didn’t look like her control would last much longer.
“We don’t care how your decision affects us, but it better not hurt Kagome again. We’ve stood by for long enough, and now it’s time for you to realize how much you hurt her.”
Inuyasha, apparently deciding to be a little thick at that point in time, said, “What do you mean ‘hurt her’?”
“We mean,” said Miroku. “That every time you mention Kikyou, or go off to see her, it kills another part of Kagome’s heart.”
“Inuyasha,” said a voice from somewhere around Miroku’s knee.
The three standing adults jumped and looked down to see Shippou standing there. Kaede and Kilala were patiently sitting down and watching to see the outcome of this ‘conversation.’ Shippou continued.
“I know this is supposed to be Miroku and Sango chewing you out, but I had to say something. I know things about how Kagome feels that even they don’t know.”
“Well, spill it, brat!” said Inuyasha, who was close to losing his patience by now. They were keeping him from telling Kagome how he felt and he didn’t like it one bit.
“I’m not the brat here, Inuyasha, you are!!” yelled Shippou, startling everyone in the hut.
“Always wanting what you can’t have, ignoring what’s right in front of you, and not caring how your actions hurt others! That’s a classic brat if I ever saw one! You know what Kagome did every time you took off to go see Kikyou overnight and she didn’t follow? She cried herself to sleep!!”
Everyone in the hut seemed at least a little surprised at Shippou’s announcement.
“Sh-shippou, are you sure about that?” asked Sango.
“We never heard her,” added Miroku.
“Keh, you’re wrong, whelp. I would have caught the scent of her tears,” said Inuyasha, his sarcasm covering for his self-doubt. Shippou continued his rant.
“Of course I’m sure. You never heard her because she never made a sound that was audible more than two feet away. And Inuyasha?”
The said hanyou’s ears perked up a bit of their own accord.
Damn ears, he thought. Shippou took a deep breath, then spoke.
“Of course you would have scented her tears, but
you weren’t there!!! That’s the whole point of what I’m trying to say – to Kagome, you always go to ‘her,’ thus you have chosen ‘her.’”
Shippou seemed to sort of deflate after that and retreated into Sango’s arms. Miroku spoke.
“I believe Shippou has said everything Sango and I were going to say, except for two things. First, you must go and tell Kagome of your decision right now.”
Inuyasha nodded and turned to leave, but Sango’s voice called him back.
“Oh, and Inuyasha?”
Turning to face them one more, he was met with five stares so cold it felt as if he had been turned to a block of ice. Miroku gave voice to their parting words.
“If you hurt her, you better not show your face in this village again, or you will regret it.” Inuyasha gulped, nodded, and left the hut.
As he walked away from the hut, nose in the air to sniff out her scent, he found her just outside the hut.
“Kagome,” he breathed, his voice just loud enough to catch her attention, causing her to look up.
“Did you hear all that?” he asked, hoping against hope she didn’t. She nodded and his heart sank, just a bit.
“Let’s go somewhere else to talk,” he said, taking her hand and leading her up the path. Kagome kept her head down throughout the walk, looking up only once they had reached their destination.
“The Goshinboku?” she asked, slightly confused.
“Yeah,” he said, sitting down in front of the old tree; she followed his example. “I thought since this is where we first met, it would be a good place to say what I want to say today.”
I was alone in the dark
Never let down my guard
Closed the curtains on my heart
Kagome just sat there, looking at him. Inuyasha took that as a good sign and continued.
“I wanted to tell you something, Kagome. Something I’ve only recently figured out, but that I know with more certainty than I know I’m a hanyou. I –” He was cut off by Kagome’s voice.
“Inuyasha.”
“Huh? What is it, Kagome?” She took a breath before looking at him.
“I just want you to know that whatever you say here will determine which era I stay in.” Confused, Inuyasha said so.
“Huh? What do you mean?”
“I mean, Inuyasha, that I have to make the decision soon as to which era I will live in. The jewel’s complete and Naraku’s dead, so that means I no longer have a job here. But I don’t belong in the modern era, either. I’ve been through so much with you, with all of you, here that I just don’t fit in there. No one there would understand this stuff. To be perfectly honest, I consider this era my home much more so than the modern era, now.”
To say that Inuyasha was dumbfounded would be a slight understatement. He thought for a moment, then spoke. “Kagome, I want to tell you a story. This is the story of a boy who thought he would be alone forever…”
So the world could not see
All the demons in me
Told myself I was free
“Once there was a boy. He was orphaned at a young age and ostracized from then on because his mother’s family and father’s family were in a blood feud with each other; neither side would claim him. The boy grew up with rough experiences, building mental barriers and emotional walls to keep out the insults and torment.
And you showed me
How wrong I could be
When the boy became a young man, he met a young woman. This young woman had a different background, but was much the same as he. They grew to care for one another and had decided to settle down for a life together, but something tore them apart. The girl put the boy under a spell for a very long time and she disappeared.
Now I’m standin’ on a
Mountain of rubble
That once was a wall
Took years to build around me
Then one day, the spell holding the boy was broken by another girl. Together they found out that they had a very long and hard task to complete, but they needed each other to do it. They met several friends along the way, as well as enemies, and the companions grew as close as a family.
And you came along
And you tore it down
Like it was nothin’ at all
Now it’s a little scary
Learning to fall
Unfortunately, one day the first girl came back and threatened to disrupt what peace they had found. The boy was torn – yes, he did still have some feelings for the first girl, but someone else held his heart now. The boy wasn’t able to make a decision until their task was completed and, when it was, he found that his heart had already made the choice for his head.
When you looked in my eyes
Past the fear and false pride
You saw goodness inside
You see, while the first girl had been a companion for him, there couldn’t have truly been anything there, or they wouldn’t have been pulled apart as they were. The second girl, on the other hand, crept into his life with an agility to rival any shinobi, and began to break down those barriers and walls he had built up – all without his knowledge. Before he knew it, he was willing to do anything for her – kill, die, even let her go....
I can’t believe how I feel
I believe love is real
And I’m ready to heal
The boy and his friends had finally finished their task and were taking a well-deserved break when the boy and the second girl got into a major fight. Afterwards, the boy felt bad, first because it was his fault and second because he had finally realized that he cared for this girl and her alone. He didn’t want to lose her over a fight so stupid that he couldn’t even remember the reason they started.
And you showed me
How right I can be
The boy decided to go tell the girl exactly how he felt, but on the way, he ran into the first girl. The boy realized that he would have to tell the first girl that they were through for good before he could move on with his life. It took a bit of convincing, but he did it. He told the first girl that they were finished. She didn’t want to listen, so he turned his back on her and left.
Now I’m standin’ on a
Mountain of rubble
That once was a wall
Took years to build around me
Now he just had to finish what he started and tell the girl he felt for exactly how he felt before it was too late, before she left him forever. He realized that this girl was the one who had unlocked his hidden heart; who had broken down all of those barriers and walls he had put up to protect himself. He realized that he cared for her as more than a tool or even as a friend: he…loved her, more than anything, more than his own life.
And you came along
And you tore it down
Like it was nothin’ at all
Now it’s a little scary
Learning to fall
He finally found the girl, and told her how he felt through a story. Now he was only waiting on the girl’s response. He wasn’t sure that she felt the same, but he felt better nonetheless by finally admitting his feelings. If the girl didn’t feel the same, he’d just go back to his previous solitary life. But if she did…he didn’t know what he’d do.”
I was holding on
Now I’m letting go
Inuyasha finished his story and looked at Kagome, who had a very surprised look on her face. “I’m sure you know by now who the boy and girl are. I only hope that you can tell me how you feel.” He trailed off and looked down, his silver bangs covering his golden eyes, waiting for Kagome’s answer.
I was holding on
Now I’m letting go
Kagome was in shock. She couldn’t believe that that story was about her and Inuyasha, but who else could it be? The first girl had to be Kikyou, so that would make her the second girl, the one the boy was
in love with. She knew she loved Inuyasha – she had for a very long time – but still….
Oh, to hell with it, she thought.
I was holding on
Now I’m letting go
“Inuyasha,” she said, causing him to look up. “I love you, too. I have for a long time, but I thought you wanted her so I never said anything.”
“I thought at one point that I did want her, but I’ve come to realize that I was just lonely, and so was she, so we took comfort in that companionship. I also realize that I never would have been happy living as a human, thanks to you,” he said.
Now I’m standin’ on a
Mountain of rubble
That once was a wall
Took years to build around me
Kagome gathered her courage and stepped closer to Inuyasha, grabbing his hand. “I’m glad you see that,” she said. “That’s what I’ve always wanted for you; for you to accept that you’re best not as a youkai or a ningen, but as a hanyou – one with the strength of a youkai, but the heart of a human.” She came even closer to him; his breath caught in his throat.
And you came along
And you tore it down
Like it was nothin’ at all
Now it’s a little scary
Inuyasha kept looking as Kagome got up on her tiptoes to look him in the eye.
“I love you, Inuyasha. I love you as a half-demon.”
Those words hit home with him, bringing back memories of Kaguya’s mirror castle. Then Kagome had kissed him only to return him to his hanyou state. But this time, she decided she would do it only because she wanted to. Her eyes slid shut and her lips met his. The shock of receiving a kiss from Kagome and being not only able to experience it over and over, but of being able to remember the kiss in its entirety, well, it was more than his nerves could take.
Learning to fall
Inuyasha’s knees gave out, and since Kagome was leaning on him, they both toppled backwards to land on the ground. The kiss was broken as soon as they hit ground and both of them started laughing.
Kagome regained her breath first and said, “I guess that gives a whole new meaning to the phrase ‘falling in love,’ doesn’t it?”
“Yeah,” said Inuyasha who then leaned in to capture her lips again.
Kagome would figure out later what her heart had known for such a long time: her home, her true home, – not the place where she was born, but the place she belonged – was in the feudal era, at Inuyasha’s side.
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