Welcome to Gaia! ::

I am a firm believer that all things happen for a reason, whether or not we know the reason. When I share aspects of my past with people, they tend to feel bad for me for the hard times and I can't help but smile and proudly say "I'm very grateful for those hard times as well as the good, because they played a part in making me the person I am today!"

Most recently (as in three weeks ago) I got the courage to visit and stay with a couple (whom I met online) and their family for two weeks, and as the time neared for my trip I was a little nervous but mostly I felt confident and safe and completely at ease about it. Tension was only slight between the couple and myself the first couple hours because we sat and fought with ourselves over what feels right and what common sense and logic would tell us... The tension quickly diseased and we felt right at home with each other, the over all feel for all three of us in fact was that I wasn't a visitor, but more that I've been here for years! This feeling we all shared was scary and unusual and we all tried to dismiss it but then as it neared time for my return to California this fear over came us all, a fear that if I got on that plan there would be no return... and I was terrified to get on the plan that morning, I had no clue way but I was terrified... So I called the airlines and canceled my flight only for the time when I would have been getting on the plan I ended up so very sick; fever, cold sweat, uncontrollable shaking, sinus pressure, and my breathing was so bad I was having black outs. Had I been on the air plane, it'd have been even more difficult to breathe, and I wonder I'd have survived the flight had I gotten on it...

And when I spoke to my Grandmother to tell her I canceled my flight it turned out she was cleaning out the two bedrooms in her hour (one of which was to be mine once upon a time) but now she's cleaning them out for some people offering a very generous price to rent the rooms for them so it worked out really well, for had I returned I'd have to find a new place to live anyway.

A can't bring myself to regret my decision to live hear, I felt bad for breaking plans with Marii but I love her and of all the people in the world I have every confidence that she of all people can understand this and the reasons behind it. I do miss her a lot though but I also know that even though at times it might seem like it, moving doesn't mean we'll never see each other again... we've proven this multiple times! And This place feels so unbelievably homey, I haven't felt so at home in years... At least about ten years to be precise... And even with not having fully recovered from this bug I've been really energetic. I have this strong feeling like I need to be hear for something... but I've no clue if it's to do/witness/experience/learn/teach/etc. something or all of thee above... I've tried meditating and tarot reading to see if I could discover some kinda clue but I've gotten nothing so far... So I will simply have to take things as they come.

So what do you think? Coincidences-all? Fate? Illogical stupidity? Something meant to be?

So I've posted this here to see what you think about it, as well as for you to post any similar experiences...

It certainly sounds like you are where you should be. I think the mind and the soul 'knows' SO much more than some would give credit, and the wisest thing we can do is listen to it. Our instincts, and gut feelings. I also believe all things happen for a reason. Perhaps not necessarily good or bad but a reason that usually leads to growth and development.