Damion Nash
Breaking it up into stanzas could help that be more apparent. It's totally up to your personal taste, but setting this poem in a specific scene and illustrating the feelings with images could make the turn feel stronger, like using the image of waking to an empty bed and recognizing it as best, even though it's not what the speaker wants. I swear I'm not trying to be pushy, I just wanted to give what quality input I could.
Hon, you're far,
far too nice. I'm pretty sure you're not about to hurt anyone's feelings. We're all here because we want to know what people think of our writing and we want to know what we can do to improve. So please, tear the poetry apart, (at least in my case) tell me what you love, tell me what you hate. As poets, we'll keep the advice we like and disregard what we don't.
So don't hold back. (hehe) Hit us with your best shot! (*sigh* 80's music...)
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