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 Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 2:50 pm
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[ Cor.de.lia ]+Introducing the Ugly Duckling+
"And when they told her she's delirious
She didn't care
She's just oblivious
She likes to make everyone curious
One day she's gonna be famous"
| welcome aboard the crazy train | the pointy hat thief | like a cuddly parasite | it's all good, baby | sleepy time | the play toys |
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Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 3:01 pm
"Smile. It scares people."
Updated August 28,2008 Because life's not fun when you're normal.  [ the director ] windlily [ titled ] Cordelia || Briar || Jones [ known to the populace as ] Jones, Cor, Corbi, CJ [ but never, ever ] Cordelia, Brownie or Pudding. (I am not a dessert.) [ people like to pretend I'm ] Opinionated, naive, attention-seeking, loud, witty, impatient, happyhappyhappy, a traitor to my house, and just a little crazy [ but they don't know I'm the one pretending ] Observant, prideful and vengeful, alone in a crowd, sly like a fox, and always doing my best to get an interesting reaction out of you. [ I prowl with the ] Girls [ but I tease all the ] Guys. [ I didn't have a say when the ugly hat decided ] Slytherin. [ the world embraced me on ] May 23 [ and the stars all shone in my name ] Gemini [ though they haven't done so again for ] 12 long years. [ which means I've been stealing pointy hats for ] 2 years. [ the stork gave me to ] Julius Roman Jones and Monica Scarlet [ making me an unlucky ] Halfer. [ my precious boom stick is ] 8 1/4 [ inches long, stolen from a ] Blackwood walnut [ tree, and hiding ] Three strands of demiguise hair [ crowning it ] The king of Transfiguration wands. [ when the air starts to freeze in my lungs ] A Tazmanian devil answers my call. [ he sleeps at the foot of my four-poster ] Tortoiseshell calico kittie [ affectionately named ] Cinnamon. [ quidditch is for people who actually like heights, so ] No. [ on the big screen ] I'm a pretty good size for my age, I think. I'm about average when it comes to height; I don't over-shadow people, but I don't have to get on my tip-toes to look them in the eye either. And I know for sure I'm not too big around. I've always made sure that I stay in good health. It helps that I like a lot of healthy food, and Cinnamon likes to lead me around the grounds for early morning walks. What doesn't help is knowing that if I did outgrow my clothes, Dad probably wouldn't buy me more for a while. He's a total health nut and would do anything to make sure his precious daughter didn't become another obesity statistic. So I've learned to stick to munching on my carrots, and he stays out of my face. Really, it's a wonder I'm not anorexic by now.
Yes, I'm black. No need for racism or prejudice here. I'm totally comfortable with the jokes; I've heard them often enough, that's for sure. Because of that, my eyes are pretty dark brown, almost black, and my hair is, of course, nearly uncontrollable. It's a real pain to brush out all of the tangles, so usually I just don't bother. Needless to say, braids are my best friends, and they make every morning so much easier. My lips are pretty full too, perfect for a 100-watt smile. I have braces, but I'm not self-conscious about them. I hate my nose though; it's big and ugly and takes up half of my face. Stupid, Daddy genes. Yeah, my ears are pierced, twice on each ear. I don't usually wear big earrings though. Just small, shiny, distracting ones.
My wardrobe at school is pretty limited, but elsewhere, it expands to the far reaches to space and beyond. I'll wear just about anything that isn't orange. I'll wear dresses, skirts, jeans, shorts, you name it. I usually just grab the first thing I can find, and go with it. I also like to double up layers every once in a while. Skirts have always been best with a pair of shorts under them. Purses are just annoying, added weight. I don't get why so many people collect them. It seems like a big waste of money. Me, I'll stick with my pockets. And maybe a normal bag if something doesn't fit. [ time for a flashback ] Well, here, I'll tell you a tale of a forbidden romance. Monica Scarlet was the eldest daughter of a pureblood wizarding family, raised in hopes of becoming the family's head. She was beautiful in every way imaginable. More intelligent than any Ravenclaw, better behaved than any Hufflepuff, more noble than any Gryffindor, and the perfect candidate for Slytherin. Well, except for one thing. She was only eighteen years old when her parents set her up for an arranged marriage with the eldest son of another wealthy, pureblood family. Needless to say, she was feeling particularly rebellious and anti-family when one day, as she strolled through the streets of France, she happened upon a very handsome, young man named Julius Roman Jones.
The two became very close, very quickly. It was a match made in heaven, and the angels graced it with their divine songs. However, it was a secret, forbidden relationship, as Monica's parents still intended her to marry the man they had chosen for her. In a fit of passion, she laid with him. It was nothing but harmless rebellion. Just a fling before she had to hand her life over for good. She'd probably just leave him anyway, and never have to see him ever again, making it much, much easier to pretend she wasn't guilty. Of course, that was before she realized that that passionate night had left her with some lasting problems.
I'll give you a hint. One of those problems was morning sickness. The other was the fetus that was now fiddling around inside her belly.
Well, her parents were a forgiving bunch (Snerk!), and when they found out, they told her that they could hush it up and never tell anyone what happened if she decided to marry her fiancé as quickly as possible. Now that she was nineteen with a baby in her belly, though, she was feeling even more rebellious than before. She said she had to take responsibility for her actions and that she wanted to raise her baby with its real father. Her parents' reactions were somewhere along the lines of, "Sure, honey, when hell freezes over with you in it!" And so, she got the choice of A) marrying Richie McPureblood and raising the kid with him or B) giving the baby to the father and never seeing it again. She chose the less restricting option of C) elope. Thus it was that Monica Scarlet became Monica Jones and lived conspicuously in the Muggle world while her husband, whom she'd informed of her predicament, happily taught her the ins and outs of electrical appliances and battery power. She figured things out quickly enough, but still resorted to swishing her wand whenever she thought no one was looking. Nine months later, I graced them with my presence. They were an average, happy, new couple for about four years after I was born. The happy didn't last very long after that.
Young Monica was beginning to desperately miss her life of magic and riches. It was becoming harder and harder for her to smile to her husband or her child and pretend that she was still enjoying herself. As the years went on, she began to take out her frustration on Julius, targeting him for every minute mistake and looking for any faults that she could find to excuse her displeasure. The once happy couple began crumbling as I watched through the crack in the door. There was a major argument at least once a month, with several scattered through the rest of the time allotted. I got used to it after seeing it so much. I didn't even question it by the time I was six. I just thought that was what parents must do. So I would grin and bear it, like a good little girl.
Mom and Dad didn't realize I could hear every word. At least I learned some pretty interesting insults through it all. And because I was always smiling and making happy, they thought everything was okay. When I wasn't happy, they'd just tell me, "Smile, Honey. Be happy. Why aren't you happy, Baby?" And if I told them it was because they were fighting, Mom would blame it on Dad or vice versa, and they'd just start fighting again. I learned pretty quickly. If I was happy, the yelling ended just a bit quicker than if I wasn't. It was a system, and I mastered it.
Or, I thought I did. Mom finally decided to leave when I was nine. My parents filed the divorce papers, and Mom gallivanted off back to her wizarding family who accepted her as a prodigal child of sorts (after severely punishing her so to make sure she learned her lesson). Of course, I didn't know where she went at the time. Dad just said she was far away. I told my friends she went into outer space. They laughed, and so did I. Dad was miserable, and he just couldn't understand why his daughter, who had had her mother walk out on her, didn't seem upset in the slightest. I tried to cry; I really did. But I couldn't. I just kept grinning and bearing it. I couldn't stop. After the divorce was when he got really into staying in shape. He dated a bit, but he hasn't found another serious partner yet. I wonder if I should tell him to give up already. I mean, not only does he have a kid, but his kid's a real witch. Not exactly something you want to tell your girlfriend, huh?
So, yup. When I turned eleven, I got my letter. Dad tried to explain things, but he didn't do a very good job. For his benefit, Hogwarts sent Professor Flitwick to settle everything and help me prepare. My first year at Hogwarts was absolutely stunning. Literally. I had the misfortune of having that stupid sorting hat understand the way my brain works better than anybody else in the school, and so when I was sorted into Slytherin, it made things ... hectic. I didn't know anything about inter-house rivalries or wizarding prejudices or anything of the sort. Thus, when I stated openly that I knew none of these things, having lived a muggle life, a bunch of the older Slytherins garnered a great deal of amusement from making fun of me on a daily basis. It only got worse when I was caught yelling at a stupid third year in my house who was picking on a first year Hufflepuff. It wasn't until I actually hexed the loser that the real problems arose though. But it was still worth it, and I told everyone I wasn't going to apologize. The Hufflepuff's name was Shawn, and as it turns out he's actually pretty fun to tease.
Since then I've been kind of an outcast in the eyes of a lot of Slytherins, made only worse because it was only my first year. But I didn't really mind much. The people who didn't make fun of me were the people who were actually interesting, and I have no problems with talking to people in other houses. Variety is the spice of life, after all. And this year, I intend to really spice things up. [ gotta have character ] You can consider me your friendly, neighborhood jokester/tease/matchmaker/ballerina princess astronaut sparkle fairy. Sans the whole ballerina princess astronaut sparkle fairy part, of course. I'm more of a sneakers kind of girl anyway. I like to play nice with everyone. Sounds weird coming from a Slytherin, doesn't it? Well, too bad; I like it that way. Everyone, even the jerkiest of jerks, can be entertaining if you know how to bug them just so. That is the ultra secret mission I've decided to take up during my stay here at Hogwarts. I'm gonna bounce around and tease every single person in the whole school at least once before I graduate. They're gonna make me laugh whether they like it or not. It's just not as fun any other way. And I'm all about the fun. I will happily participate in the most dastardly of pranks and jokes and bear the punishment with more pride than good grades have ever given me. Not that I get all that many good grades... My eagerness sometimes turns people off though, which only makes me more eager. The fact that I'm always smiling is something that's labeled me as a bit of a nut, but I'm okay with that. It's kind of funny to see people get a little freaked out. I even laughed at my gramma's funeral.
When nobody's looking, though, that's different. Really, despite the general opinion, the stupid sorting hat didn't make a mistake when it sorted me Slytherin. I'm totally goal-oriented, cocky and arrogant as all get out, and I love playing the sly, manipulative fox. I wouldn't exactly say the way I act is fake or a front or anything, but it's definitely not as innocent as people like to think. I'm not that naive at all; I know what's going on around me. I just choose to ignore it and/or toss it aside to make way for my own, personal reality. I bet I'd make the perfect Slytherin if I ever actually tried, but, oh! woe is me, I just don't have the motivation. It's much more fun to play around with people's love lives and petty insecurities than it is to become a prissy, high class suck-up.
Speaking of messing around with people's love lives, that's about as far into romance as I'm willing to get. I joke about it all the time, saying I'm into older men and all of that fun stuff, but I've never actually looked at a guy and thought, "Wow, I want him," you know? I guess maybe with Figgie, a little. I don't know if you can call it a crush or anything, but maybe I just have a thing for guys with guitars...? Aw, well. I don't think too deeply into it. Besides, I totally haven't had my cootie shot yet.
When it comes to school, I can't exactly say I'm the ideal student. I'm more like the one who always raises her hand to answer but never actually gets the answer right. Except in Transfiguration. I don't really know why I'm doing so well in Transfiguration, but McGonagall likes to say it's a combination of my sharp mind (Snerk!), my wand, and my "I can so totally without-a-doubt-change that lamp into a purple spotted toad because that would be so cool and I want it now" attitude. Now if only History of Magic and Potions could be that easy too.... I just have such a hard time paying attention. I blame the professors; how could they possibly expect me to be able to be interested when they're always in monotonous lecture mode?
Haha. I guess that's one of my biggest problems. I have such a short attention span. If something interesting isn't happening, I get bored. Hence why I make you all dance before me! Muahahaha! Oh, crud. I'm starting to sound like Zacchy-Boy. Eheh, so, where was I? Right. I get bored easily, so I'm always looking for someone to mess with to keep me occupied. I'm also pretty impatient, so if I don't find anyone fast enough, I just make them all come to me. Last year I got a detention for flooding the pipes of the fourth floor boy's bathroom. Yeah, you heard right. The boy's bathroom. That kept me entertained for a nice, long while. Especially when they tried to figure out what spell I used. (Don't insult me. I did it all manually. The messy way; the right way.) So now Filch hates me even more than he hates most of the kids, but luckily, I've got Fred and George in my same year, and they overshadow me with a persistence that I just can't help but admire. So, yeah. In short, I'm a pretty darn annoying person. And, for future reference, if you tell me that, I'll only smile and say thanks.
In case you haven't already noticed, I smile a lot. All the time, actually. I never stop. It's not something I do to pretend. I've really tried to cry or look sad, and I just can't seem to pull it off. I always just end up looking all constipated. So it's pretty hard for people to tell exactly what I'm feeling or thinking. They just assume I'm a happy, bubbly, naive, little girl. And I love that, 'cause then I can have fun leading them on until I say something totally unexpected and get to see their jaws crash to the floor. I guess you could call that both a quirk and a hobby. But something else I like to do is read up on the animals in the wizarding world. I know it probably sounds stupid, but I can't help it. I can't take electives yet, but I still want to learn about all of these crazy animals. They're even better in real life than in all of my old story books.
But as much as I love wizarding animals, if anything, and I mean anything, even resembles a spider or a scorpion, you had better hope it never comes anywhere near me, or else I will start screaming bloody murder. Also, no Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans, please. I've been traumatized enough already.  [ big hits ]
~Listening to Figgie play guitar (Waaah. And he has a beautiful voice too.)
~Nodding as Zacchy-Boy complains about everything (It's fun to watch him squirm.)
~Fred and George's patented pranks (Oh, how I wish I could bring a camera to Hogwarts.)
~Playing obnoxious matchmaker (It's just as fun to see you get angry at me as it is to see you with your sweetie.)
~Eavesdropping (You're funny when you think no one's listening.)
~Manda (That girl is great!)
~Shawnie-Baby (He's cute, in a "there's no way you're the same age as me, you're too much like a little kid" sort of way.)
~The moving paintings (I could talk to those crazies for hours.)
~Stealing pointy hats (I hate the things, but they're darn fun to take off people's heads and play keep-away with.) [ shameless flops ]
~Wearing pointy hats (I refuse, I refuse, I refuse!)
~Potions (I'm not very good at following directions.)
~Anyone who hates me (I dish insults as I take 'em.)
~Wizarding flora (Okay, so most of the animals are pretty cool, but the plants are just plain creepy.)
~Being underestimated (Being misunderstood I kinda enjoy, but don't underestimate.)
~Quidditch (Sports are played on the ground.)
~Guys like Castrus and Aidan (They take things just a step too far.)
~People with no sense of humor (Live a little!)
~Spiders (Don't let 'em anywhere near me.) [ end credits ] Suffering from heavy electricity withdrawal. The transition between Muggle life and Wizarding life is the hardest I think I'll ever go through.
| welcome aboard the crazy train | the pointy hat thief | like a cuddly parasite | it's all good, baby | sleepy time | the play toys |
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Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 7:13 pm
[ One Plus One Equals You and Me ]
Hold My Hand and I'll Hold Yours >>>>
You Like the Spice >>>
You Gotta Get to Know Me, Baby >>
Oh, Behave! >
[ Two Peas In a Pod ]
People Mix Up Our Names Even Though They Sound Nothing Alike ^^^^^
We're Just Gushing Friendship ^^^^
It's All Good ^^^
Holy cow! You're That Guy! ^^
Eh, Not Bad for a Square ^ [ Take It or Leave It ]
Don't Worry; I Hate Your Guts Too <<<<
Jealous of My Slick Muggle Ways <<<
You Tolerate Me Even Though You Hate My Guts All Secret-Like <<
Making Use of My Mad Skills < 
Name: Fidelious (FIG) Violino
Year: 3rd year
House: Gryffindor
Relationship: In between It's All Good ^^^
What you think of Corbi: “Corbi can be a bit scary, but she is the one I turn to when I come to a new song when I can’t find Alice or Rain. She actually enjoys my guitar playing and singing, and I really appreciate that. She makes me laugh, as well! She is very bright. But… yes, like I said. Scary.”
History, if any: Fig played silently on the Black Lake’s shore, just to himself, and Corbi came around, complimenting his playing. And since then, he’d always play for her, and they became friends.
Plot ideas: Meh, I can’t think of anything, but it’ll be like a casual friendship.
Name: Shawn Porter
Year: Second
House: Hufflepuff
Relationship: ^^^ "It's all....good?"
What you think of Corbi: "She's kinda crazy and out there, but she's just getting along (usually). Definitely an over-bearing personality from time to time but she's nice."
History, if any: She totally buggered Robert off of me last year, and she's been like that with me ever since. We've got an...interesting friendship going.
Plot ideas: *hides behind her* Not...Robert...Again! ><'' He's a total fraidy-cat, so he'll definitely hover around her whenever possible in the great hall. He'd probably do anything, even break the rules for a scheme, if it meant keeping clear of Bobby McClellan.
Name: Myranda Halliwell
Year: 2nd year
House: Ravenclaw
Relationship: People Mix Up Our Names Even Though They Sound Nothing Alike ^^^^^
What you think of Corbi: “AHHHH OH MY GOODNESS. I LOVE Corbi! She’s like, like, like, my best friend. We think the same way, and it’s almost like we’re really twins, what with the whole sharing thoughts and being telekinetic with each other. Only… we look nothing alike. But that’s okay. She’s my partner in crime, the peanut butter to my jelly, the… okay, yeah. Anyway. What gets me down is the fact that’s in Slytherin. Yes, I know she loves to drive people up the wall. But who says I can’t join in on the fun once in a while? … or a lot.”
History, if any: Myranda met Corbi last year, Myranda stumbling into a what she thought was empty train compartment, but found little miss Jones, instead. Of course, Myranda was just happy to make a new friend that very first 15 minutes on the train, and they kept close until they were sorted into 2 completely different houses. But Myranda, despite Corbi being thrown in the ghastliest of all classifications, didn’t judge her and made Corbi her best friend. They hung out in Ravenclaw/Slytherin classes, and tried to spend their free-time together, bugging as many people as they could.
Plot ideas: Well, of course they have to give Zacch attention this year (although, Myranda might be a bit less friendly than she was last year) but it’ll be fun. : D
Name: Zaccheus Dane
Year: 3
House: Slytherin
Relationship: <
What you think of Corbi: "She's persistent. And annoying. Obviously, I don't like her."
History, if any: Zacch often finds himself interrupted while attempting to do homework, though as if she knows the extent of his endurance, she can easily switch to listening to him complain to himself. Essentially, in the last year, he built up a minor tolerance and is willing to speak to her without prompting, usually to ask what she's up to, which she usually spills.
Plot ideas: Very little. Unless Cordelia catches wind of his girl problems.
[b]Name:[/b]
[b]Year:[/b]
[b]House:[/b]
[b]Relationship:[/b] (list the different types)
[b]What you think of Corbi:[/b] (can be written in 1st or 3rd person)
[b]History, if any:[/b]
[b]Plot ideas:[/b]
| welcome aboard the crazy train | the pointy hat thief | like a cuddly parasite | it's all good, baby | sleepy time | the play toys |
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Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 9:28 pm
[ Life is Way More Interesting than a Box of Chocolate ]
I Love You All! So Much! Hugs!
..........
Peachy Keen and Honky Dorey
..........
[ Stuck in the Middle ]
..........
How ... Not Funny
..........
You, My Friend, Are Officially Blacklisted
[ And It Doesn't Disappear Quite as Quickly Either ]Currently Musing:
Currently Jazzin' With:
Currently Scheming:
| welcome aboard the crazy train | the pointy hat thief | like a cuddly parasite | it's all good, baby | sleepy time | the play toys |
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Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 9:29 pm
[ Classes aren't exactly my forte... ]
Current Class: None yet.
Detentions: None yet.
[ ...So try not to let the snoring get to you. ]
| welcome aboard the crazy train | the pointy hat thief | like a cuddly parasite | it's all good, baby | sleepy time | the play toys |
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Posted: Sat Oct 11, 2008 5:56 pm
[ You know, for recording the progress of my mission... ] Gryffindors[Lillian Austen]
Sun Bae
[Adelaide Burkley [Alice!]]
[Bridgette Cooke]
[Bellatrix Narcissa d'Mort [Bellacissa]]
[Jane Driscoll]
[Leigh Guidry]
[Matthias Ibn La-Ahad]
[Skander McHale]
[Brianna Porter [Cammie]]
[William Raines]
[Dorian "Jake" Ritter]
[Juliet Setterfield]
[Lorraine Shaw [Lori]]
[Myranda Summers]
[Bailey Ann Thompson]
[Eriol Turner [Eli]]
[Fidelious Violino [Fig]]
[George Weasley]
[Oliver Wood]
[Emmit Yates [Glenn]] Hufflepuff[Mackenzie Alexanders [Mac/Kenzie]]
[Jamie Austen]
[Sirius Austen]
[Joanne Batten]
[Jin Choi]
[Eleanor Davis]
[Cedric Diggory]
[Dominic Gellar]
[Julian "Mac" MacGregor]
[Elvis McKay [Barrett]]
[Mary Perison]
[Shawn Porter [Ry]] "Aww, Shawnie-baby's adorable. He's a bit of a porker, but that's part of his charm. He wouldn't be Shawnie-baby without it. I don't see why Slytherins are always talking bad about Hufflepuffs, not really. He's so much fun to tease and joke around with, and if I ever need him for anything, he owes me. How is that not sweet?"
[Shaynne Randle [Hollywood]]
[Andromeda Reinhardt]
[Richard "Rick" Samuels]
[Kamille Sirianni]
[Ayşe Toluk]
[Amber Wolfsten]
[Athenadora Zakarova]
[Quinton Zsarcaspian] Ravenclaws[Layla Alexander]
[Zaidin Berkeley]
[Angelica Carrington [Angie]]
[Sara-Fleur Delacour]
[Myranda Halliwell]
[Adela Heid]
[Masika Het-Heru]
[Kevin Jameson]
[Jasper Jennings [Mooch]]
[Alanis Jensen]
[Maddox Kingsley]
[Julia Lavigne]
[Ryan Martin]
[Nathaniel Mason]
[Annibelle Massey [Ania]]
[Tracey O'Donnell]
[Ophelia Ozma]
[Cameron Rivers]
[Rosaline Windsor] Slytherins[Brady Allen IV]
[Ramsey Castillo]
[Zaccheus Dane] "Oh, Zacchy-boy? He's always good for some easy kicks. It's not like we hang out or anything, but when he's not in one of his everyone-in-the-world-deserves-to-die-painfully moods, he's not such a bad person to tease. Plus, his rants sometimes help me come up with awesome prank ideas."
[Lolita Doerity [Dotey]]
[Cordelia Jones]
[Rain Larks]
[Amanda Lilliquist]
[Skylar Martin]
[Johanna Mattson]
[Robert McClellan]
[Melanie Parks]
[Aidan Reese]
[Cecilia Rigby]
[Castrus Sacre]
[Leander Sacre]
[Junko Saehara]
[Elizabeth Spelling]
[Raphael Stark]
[Azula Tanaka]
[Lyra Winner]
[Olivia Zsarcaspian] [ ...My mission to drive you all up the wall. ]| welcome aboard the crazy train | the pointy hat thief | like a cuddly parasite | it's all good, baby | sleepy time | the play toys |
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