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 Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 2:15 pm
I'm so excited I can post my poetry here! I love writing!! I'll post a few now and maybe some more later. I've kind of got a ton on my computer 4laugh Unexpected Optimism
Seemingly impossible,
I did this to myself.
Now there’s just an empty hole,
A lonesome, broken shelf.
Effrontery that lies beneath,
Shall always go unseen.
Listening, I hear you breathe,
Ripping out my seams.
Eremophobia, now is all I see,
Living in a broken home,
Playing with the key.
A daunter little figure,
Traveling far away.
No one knows if him or her,
Never long to stay.
Specks of tiny, cracking salt,
Flowing from dry eyes.
No tears are left to halt,
And sadness quickly dries.
Laughter overflows a realm,
Deep into terrene.
Nothing left of olden film,
No longer left unclean.
Feelings have all dissipated,
Happiness all night.
Have the old things really faded,
Or just gone wrong from right?
^^That's my favorite poem I've written so far! Falling Glass
Shivering Cold,
What I'm about to say.
Life seems old,
I wish you'd stay.
A shatterproof wall,
Something’s wrong.
You can't here me call,
Hiding it all day long.
Slow as night,
We fall apart.
It might be right,
If you'd listen to your heart.
An awkward silence,
All that's left.
A strong defiance,
Definite theft.
Why are you doing this?
Pushing me away.
Like a bloody fist,
Tears falling astray.
The words unspoken,
Soon be told.
They make me broken,
My heart turns cold.
Everything's here,
Yet no connection.
I hold it dear,
In hopes for redirection
^This one was written the night before my ex and I broke up...it was sort of a prediction. I knew it was gonna happen and I wrote this, then posted it up the next day after the break up. More to come!
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Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 2:25 pm
These are all about 4 or 5 years old now (from when I was 12 and 13) Not a friend
I''m that person in the corner,
The one who goes unnoticed.
Silently weeping away
in the night,
as you all sleep tight.
Going unnoticed, unseen.
But always there,
when someone''s in need.
I''m more of the person
Who appears when needed,
Then someone you would call a friend.
What is Life?
What is life?
Is it a hectic jumble of feelings?
Or a joyful ride on a Roller Coaster?
Life,
What is it?
Is it just a game?
Something that isn't serious,
Is unrealistic?
Is life something depressing?
Maybe life is a fashion show?
Or maybe life is a burping contest,
A simple thing you want to win?
Is life something others tear apart?
Do they try to put it back together?
Is life about having every made shoe?
Or about not what others think?
Is life full of emotions?
Do you want to scream and cry?
Or yell and laugh and scream and shout?
What is life? Your Battles
I've thought about lying my whole life away,
Just to end the pain.
It'd be better that way,
Even if I wouldnt be sane.
What's it matter to you,
Who pulls me apart?
Like an old worn shoe,
As if I have no feelings, no heart.
I try to back away,
But you pull me in agian to this pain.
I'm begining to sway,
Its not like you reign.
The world is spining,
The pain kills.
You dont care, you're winning,
As i bleed over these hills.
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Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 3:11 pm
More Poetries for now: Fire
You're the gold orange flames,
That welcome the night.
Warming the room,
With your red yellow light.
Spreading your embers,
IN flaming delight.
Sweet smoldering scents,
Make the room shine so bright.
Your path and direction,
Bring me home in the night. ^It's a metaphorical I wrote in my creative writing class, actually about a very close friend of mine ^_^ But also about a fire. My teacher didn't think it would work at first because of all the colors, but this friend has all those in their hair! 4laugh Frankie
Hair of reds, copper, gold,
Shining porcelain skin.
Dancing around consequences,
Always has to win.
Scents of herbs,
Asian noodles.
High-Pitched Singing,
Anime Doodles.
Playful Cats,
Stir Fry Dinners.
Cups of Tea,
Best friend winners. ^Obviously about my best friend, whose name is Frankie, and yes, she is a gurl, and yes her birth name is Frankie. Oh yeah, and it was again for my creative writing class. Fit in?
When you wake up,
Put on your make up.
Wondering what they'll think,
They're like a fashion link.
Driving you insane,
Pulled into this crazy game.
Will you be the new fad,
Or are you going mad?
Trying to fit in,
Is like one big sin.
Doing your hair,Think they'll be fair?
Or will they even care?
You get on the bus,
And hear a quick hush.
Then quiet talking,
Could they be mocking?
Trying to be cool,
Fit in by the pool,
But they turn their back,
And give you the sack. ^This one really belongs in my last post, because it was written 5 years ago, but I put it in this one because I just located it. You can all feel free to leave me comments. I LOVE constructive criticism. It helps me to write better. And just plain you like it's are nice too ^_^.
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Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 7:44 pm
Fire is my favourite, it really burns a visual right into your brain of the colors creeping along the ground. At least to me.
Hah, that sounds kind of silly, but it is what i think. Well done.
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Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 10:20 pm
Well thank you ^_^ I really like that one too and thought I did well, so I'm glad someone agrees mrgreen
Though I must say my fav is still Unexpected Optimism razz
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Posted: Sat Sep 06, 2008 2:43 pm
Very well done. There are a few places throughout that the lines feel a little bit too long, but not enough to jump off the page and go "TELL HER ABOUT MEEEEEEEE!" at me so I read right through them. I love how you start fit in. It reminds me of the song "Say a little prayer for you" then goes into something completely different. Very well written, keep at it. There are too few poets now days who spin an effective poem.
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Posted: Sun Sep 07, 2008 7:05 am
Unexpected Optimism is awesome. It shows a lot of emotion and details. It well written
In Falling Glass, you use 'here' instead of 'hear' in the line You can't here me call.
It's well written and flows wonderfully.
Not a Friend is simple yet good.
What is Life? is amusing and yet it's serious. I like it.
In Your Battles, there are some spelling errors and some grammar. It's still a good piece though.
Fire is a good metaphor poem. It reminds of Romeo and Juliet. O.o
I can't really say much about Frankie seeing how I don't know this person.
Fit in? seems to describe High School. I like it. It shows how some try so hard to fit in only to be turned against suddenly.
Overall, I love of your poems. You are truly a great poet. Good work and good luck to you.
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