|
|
|
|
|
|
|
The Ice Queen Diva Vice Captain
|
 Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 5:37 pm
 Hiyas! Created this topic to show you people some of my poems and to get feed back on a book that i am writing, i would like some feedback on these so i can see what i need to work on. I just started to work on my book so if you get into it just wait awhile it takes me awhile to edit and make the book fantastic for you all!
Ohhh, just letting you know, that im bad with rhyming, so my poems don't usually rhyme. SO just giving you a heads up biggrin
Enjoies! biggrin
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 5:44 pm
||Fallen Angel||
||By: Myrna||
Angel Who is fallen
Is now in grief's dark hour
Sitting there
Waiting for a miricle
His head drops
Tears roll down his cheeks
once in white silk robes
Now in grey ragged ones
His white fluffy wings
are now grey tattered shroud
leaving heaven was a mistake
Turning back is no option
Nowhe must suffer
In a horrible place we call Earth
Once a perfect angel
Now a fallen one
What he relizes now
is that he is all on his own
|
|
|
|
|
|
The Ice Queen Diva Vice Captain
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
The Ice Queen Diva Vice Captain
|
Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 3:44 pm
||Hate||
||By: Myrna Luna||
Now that we are no more
I feel a burning sensation inside
Drowning all the pain.
Killing all the love I had
Knowing that my hate for him will grow
And it spreads fast.
Killing him is what I have in mind.
Knowing he has done so much to hurt me.
Glad that we are no more
As my pain slowly leaves me
My hate grows.
He is dead to me
He means nothing.
My anger rises,
The demon in me wants to rip him to shreds.
Having the need to kill,
The need to destroy.
Hating him very single min of my life.
Knowing that I will kill his soul
And his spirit…
My Hate For You Grows Now!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 5:40 pm
||Love Is Dead||
||By: Myrna Luna||
Our love is dead
Can't you see?
This love is broken between thee.
The flowers died
From blue to black
They weep now our love died.
And thus remains in our memory.
This love died
Never there
It was never there in any place
My love for you is never more.
As i shed with tears
My heart repairs in joy
Now you can't break what is rest of my heart.
Although i will remember our time
Also that our love was in despair.
Our love is dead
Our flame just died
So farewell and
Goodbye.
|
|
|
|
|
|
The Ice Queen Diva Vice Captain
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
The Ice Queen Diva Vice Captain
|
Posted: Thu Aug 21, 2008 5:44 pm
||Depression||
||BY: Myrna Luna||
laying in your bed
thinking suicidal thoughts and ending your life
why give it up?
you have so much
you may think that you have nothing
thinking that your family doesnt care
but think about it
you have us!
we, your friends are your family now
i being your "older sister"
worrying from dusk til dawn
thinking if you are alright
thinking if you are safe
so please
dont be sad
Depression is such a cruelty
and there is no need for it
you have us
there is no need of fear
----------------------------------------------------
For a very special person in my life, my best friend who is like a brother to me. He is the best bro/best friend in this god damn universe. i love ya man! =D
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Aug 23, 2008 7:26 pm
 As he watches her every night
It was love at first sight
As his love grows for her
His heart breaks
Knowing that she will never know
How much he cares for her
He takes care of her with all of his might
keeping her safe from dusk till dawn
He watches her ever night
Watching her sleep
Keeping her safe
He longs to hold her in his arms
Share his thoughts to her
Hold her close
and never letting go
Here is an angel who is love
He longs to be there
Hoping she will love him back
Although he thinks he can not see him
She knows he is there.
Loving him as well
|
|
|
|
|
|
The Ice Queen Diva Vice Captain
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
The Ice Queen Diva Vice Captain
|
Posted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 8:42 pm
 Seeming were in a different world
Only me and you
All our dreams are coming true.
Sitting under a willow tree
whispers to each other,
"I Love You"
Knowing that I always will.
My heart equals love
which is what its filled.
My love for you
forever shall remain true
My love for you grows
without a doubt
knowing that i always will.
my baby, my sweet.
Needing you here with me
wanting you here,
knowing that will happen soon.
Knowing it shall come true.
What i really am trying to say to you
Is well... that..
I Love You!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Sep 14, 2008 3:21 pm
You've got tallent I'll admit. These are quite good and beautifully paired with the pictures.
My only suggestions lay within Fallen Angel. In lines 8 & 10 you end in the words ragged ones. It messes with the flow. Perhaps changing it to the line eight to something like 'grey tattered shroud'. Just a slight tweak, nothing major, so that you don't repeat the same words so close together.
All in all it really is my favorite here.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
The Ice Queen Diva Vice Captain
|
Posted: Tue Sep 16, 2008 1:31 pm
Vampyric Tendencies You've got tallent I'll admit. These are quite good and beautifully paired with the pictures.
My only suggestions lay within Fallen Angel. In lines 8 & 10 you end in the words ragged ones. It messes with the flow. Perhaps changing it to the line eight to something like 'grey tattered shroud'. Just a slight tweak, nothing major, so that you don't repeat the same words so close together.
All in all it really is my favorite here.
I very much appreciate it.
Thank you, once again. biggrin
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Oct 03, 2008 3:55 pm
The Masked Ball By Myrna||Mylii|Luna The Prologue ||12 Years Ago||
A dark and sad morning in the town of Oxford, England. The beloved queen, Elizabeth Von Richmond has sadly passed away. Her husband and beloved King, King Arthur Von Richmond, and her 5 precious and beautiful children stood in front of her grave stone. The little town of Oxford stood behind the royal family.
Three girls, Virginia, Samantha, and Athena Their tears slowly running down their cheeks. Virginia was 10, Samantha was 8 and Athena was 6. So they knew they wouldn't have a mother with them any more. The two young boys, William and Ayden mourned for their beloved mother. William was 11 and Ayden was 8. The king held the last and youngest child, Mary Alice, in his arms. Holding her tight in his warm and strong arms. She was 4, she didnt know what was happening. She kept asking questions about her mother. The King just said, "Your mother shall never return. She shall be staying up in the Heavens... with God All Mighty." Mary Alice didn't know what it meant and she stayed quiet after that. After the burial five of the children followed in a line from the second youngest child, Athena to the oldest, William. The sorrowful king stood over the queen's grave. Holding Mary Alice in his arms. She asked, "Daddy.. what does it say?"
The king's eyes filling with tears as he read.
Elisabeth Von Richmond
1779-1808
A Wonderful Mother and Queen
She will always be loved
and remembered
Chapter 1:
"Ow Ow Ow! Not So Hard" Mary Alice yelled as her sister, Samantha pulled on her hair as she combed it.
"Well, if you'd stop squirming i probably wouldn't be hurting you!" Samantha screamed back.
It was sixteen years after their mothers death and everything was almost the same. But the children still had a horrible empty feeling in their hearts. Their hearts felt cold. As if their mother was the missing piece to make it feel all warm and nice again.
Alice took the brush and she brushed it herself. She mumbled angrily as she walked to the mirror.
"Sorry, Sister Alice. I guess i won't be exactly like mother." Samantha sighed sadly and let her head hang down.
Alice put her long blonde golden locks in a bun. She sighed and sat next to her sister. She gently put her arm around her sisters shoulders.
"Don't worry about it Sister." Alice said as she smiled sweetly. Alice had a "special" power to make anybody smile or melt as she smiled to them.
Samantha smiled. She stood up and pulled up her sister and gave her a big hug. The both giggled.
There was a light knock on the door. It echoed through Alice's room.
"Come in!" Alice said softly. The door opened and their father walked in.
As young, beautiful, and respectable Princesses they curtsied to the King. After they both ran up to him and tackled him with hugs and kisses. The children loved their father very much.
King Arthur chuckled lightly as he hugged them back. The king spoke with a kind and gentle voice, "Now, now girls. Where are your manners?"
Alice and Samantha giggled as they let go of their father. They smoothed out their hair and dressed. They looked up at him and smiled.
"We beg our pardon, Father." Alice and Samantha said in unison. They looked at each other and giggled lightly.
King Arthur smiled at them and then his face went to a very serious look. He looked at his two daughters. They walked to Alice's glass doors that went to the balcony. He looked from them an looked down at the Von Richmond Garden. He turned around and looked at his two daughters who had their mothers figures. He smiled.
"Now, my daughters, as you know this village is experiencing some..." He paused. Searching for the correct words. "Some.. slight errors."
Samantha asked, "You mean ALL those innocent people getting killed?" She winced at the images of dead naked and place bodies that laid on the floor as she went shopping the other day with her sister, Virginia and Athena.
King Arthur looked at Alice and nodded slightly and spoke with a monotone voice. "That is why i contracted a detective to figure out who has been killing my people. She shall stick around for a couple of days. And shall be around during Alice's Masquerade. The villain might be here so he shall be wandering around. So if you see him, which i doubt you will. Please don't disrupt his work."
|
|
|
|
|
|
The Ice Queen Diva Vice Captain
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
