I think they call me
William Hubert Lizard
I would like to be called
Bill, thanks much!
Last time I checked I was this many
18 years and counting.
I am a
Chimney sweep! Oh- you meant about my parts? Well, pardon me! Last time I checked, I was a man.
I Like
Men.
... Promise not to tell Pa? He wants grandkids out of me one day!
I absolutely love
My work
The dark
A comfy fire (it's nice and warm, and it's what makes people need to hire me!)
Soot (don't ask about this, please. I don't know how to explain it all that great.)
Spending my own money as I please
This disgusts me
Being under pressure
When I'm out of work
Getting stuck in tight places (both mentally, and physically. I don't really mind being in chimneys-- it's when there's no way out is the problem!)
Pa demanding too much control over my life
Tea. No. Just no.
Somehow, coming out on the bottom of things (especially after all the hard work I do!)
The unwritten Story
Who am I? Don’t tell me you’ve never heard of the Lizard Family Chimney Sweeps! That’s my Pa’s business! Then again, now that I take the time to think about it… I wouldn’t blame you if you’ve never heard of us (or more importantly, me) before. Wonderland is big- so ginormously huge! And that’s just why Pa started the Lizard Family Chimney Sweeps. I may not make much cash from one job, but the numbers add up. That was what Pa had in mind, and his pa before him.
I haven’t told you much about my family yet, have I? It’s just my Pa, my pesky little bro, and me all livin’ together in one comfy cottage (with a chimney, no doubt about it). Felix, my brother, is as annoying as heck! Oh, sure, Mum was around to teach me manners, but she wasn’t there to give the same lessons to little Felix! That lady got her head swung off by the Queen of Hearts (when that woman was still around) for painting the roses red. Pa always said a Lizard’s job wasn’t art… Guess he was right.
Don’t get me started on Felix! That kid is a handful. The other day the boy turned the big one-three. Not like he acts any different from when he was seven! That little rat slacks off on the job just so he can watch Pa get all fired up! How rude is that? Felix spends our money, tricks customers… Pa always tells me that when he’s gone, I’m going to be the one in charge. Great. How will I be able to break it to him?
Ever since I was a tot, Pa had in mind the exact steps he wanted me to follow; Work as a sweep for him. Grow up. Take over the family business. Find a girlfriend. Have kids. Expand. He’s all about the business.
As soon as I was tall enough, that man handed me my broom (as his pa did to him when he was my age), and it was all down chimneys from there. You may think differently, but I actually kinda sorta love my work. Who wouldn’t? Every chimney is an adventure, and it’s a fair challenge to try and get one squeaky clean. I get to get all dusty in soot, then not have to worry after! Let me clarify it, though, my job is much more different then my work. Pa is my boss, and a grumpy boss he is at that! He doesn’t allow me to have any fun, he doesn’t allow me to take my time, he doesn’t even allow me to spend my own cash! Get married? Thanks, but no. I don’t even like women. Grandpa may not like it, Pa may be furious, but I’m sure as heck ready to make a business of my own! … If only I could tell Pa that.
Did I mention that things for me get out of hand really fast? I don't know how it happens, but let's just say I end up fired or stuck in the chimney more then I would like to be. Most of the times I get pushed so that I'm shoved out of order or onto unknown grounds. It's not my fault, I swear!
I'm falling for
Nobody right now...
These are my marks
No tattoos or piercings for me, thank you very much. I heard that they hurt! However, I do have one pretty pewter ring I like to admire on my right thumb. It was overpriced, I know I splurged my day's winnings on it... But I like it. It's part of my first baby step to decide a life for my own.
I love this saying
"May I sweep your chimney, sir?"
My master is
Shadows After Dawn
