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 Posted: Mon Aug 11, 2008 6:25 pm
The Pain You Caused
tear stained cheeks
hate in my heart
your such a coward
i dont kow where to start
our friendship started
out so strong
it was like a rock
what went wrong
your friends got involved
it wasnt there place
if you didnt wanna talk
you should have said it to my face
i hope you feel like crap
i hope that you knew
the pain that you cause
that i cried over you
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Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 10:50 am
Very nice. I can tell that this was written with a lot of emotion. However, when things are written with emotion, sometimes little bumps come up.
Fourth line: know instead of kow
Tenth line: their instead of there
Also in the last stanza, there seems to be some little bump. I don't know what the problem there is, but I think that it's a tense problem.
Other then the small gramatic errors, its a good poem.
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