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Hows this one? Wrote it myself!

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scar104

PostPosted: Mon Aug 11, 2008 6:24 pm


First off, I am a HUGE Metriod fan. I know, I'm a geek. But something about a silent character you can talk through, just appeals to me. So, the second post will be the fanfic I am writing. Critiques, reviews, and criticism are all appreciated.

cheers,
David
PostPosted: Mon Aug 11, 2008 6:27 pm


Time: 0726 hours
Year: 20X6
Earth system 02537
REM Cycle

It starts out as a good dream. I’m back on Tallon IV, except I’m not Samus Aran, bounty hunter, I’m Samus Aran the “hatchling,” A title I had earned since I was adopted by the Chozo. I’m playing with my friends Chi, Pho, Akn and Zex. I then hear my teacher,Secor’ Gunt, or “ all seeing,” call me over. He picks me up, his eyes are sparkling with joy, and says something I can’t hear. I see behind him that a dark cloud is spreading. I look closer and see that is actually a swarm of Space Pirates, eyes bright and full of malice, their jetpacks flaring, swooping low and decimating everything they saw. My combat instincts kicked in and I jumped in front of my master to shield him with my armor and raised my arm to defend him. To my horror, I then realized that I was simply raising my arm, no gun, no power suit. I saw my friends being skewered by brilliant bursts of light and I screamed, at my powerless state, at the space pirates, at the world until it was blotted out by the sound. I woke screaming “ they’re dead! They’re dieing!” The sheets were soaked with sweat and twisted around me. The whole memory overwhelmed me and I sobbed quietly for a few minutes. Ptahh! Samus Aran, most feared bounty hunter in the galaxy, crying. But I couldn’t let the memory go. My friends… my family… all gone, twice. For the thousandth time, I cursed the Space Pirates, cursed them for destroying both my families. I eventually decided that crying over the past wouldn’t help and got up. I walked up to the alcove where my power suit was kept. I opened it and admired the gleaming alloy. I stared at it with a sense of detachment as I reflected on all the battles the suit had gotten me through… Gaah! I shook my head, I was getting all soft eyed again. I was never this distracted before! Slightly distressed by this I put my power suit on, ran a systems check, and walked briskly out the door to the award ceremony.

Time: 0743
Earth system 02537
Space Station Zaneret
West wing hallway
Hall to auditorium lounge
The general public reaction when people see me in my armor is the jaw drop, blink a few times, turn pale as they notice my gun, turn paler as they remember exactly who they’re dealing with, the hasty composure, a sharp salute and a quick “sir!” Sir?! Pompous military fools, they know every detail down to the pebble on the right of my fight with Metroid Prime, and yet they don’t even know my gender! I don’t even spare them a glance as I enter the security scanner. I step through the scanner, it goes off as usual. A security squad comes rushing in, abnormally alert and nervous. Not to mention heavily armed, three had fusion launchers, they launched an unstable uranium isotope encased in an electromagnetic shell. Basically, a mini nuke. Those would put a meter wide hole in 12 inches of grade A titanium. Something had happened earlier, something very, very bad. When the lieutenant saw who had set off the alarm, he didn’t even flinch. He insisted that I be searched. As if I needed to hide a gun. When I asked him what happened before that made them this careful, he said the information was confidential. Sensing that I would not get any more information, I sighed softly and entered the auditorium.

Time: 0750
Earth system 02537
Space Station Zaneret
Auditorium

As I was roughly ten minutes early, I settled in to wait and watch. As usual, people left a berth of about five seats from me. I have gotten used to this kind of fearful isolation. People are too scared of me to get to know me, they just are too damn terrified of me. I sighed again and settled in again to watch. I activated my A.I. Adam to review my speech. “Hello milady, long time no see! What can I do for you?” I smirked at the quirky A.I.’s response. “Hello Adam, run speech program please. By the way, nice to see you too.” “Done, good luck.” A.I.’s are not well equipped to handle fear and hand out condolences, but even this little comment helped, a little. After a few minutes, Adam said, “ Samus? My sensors are detecting stress levels not seen since your fight with Metroid Prime. Is everything okay?” “ Just a little nervous, that’s all.” The A.I gave a sigh and resigned to run his other programs. After a very decorated general gave his speech, I was called up. There were many a stifled gasp as my name was called. I walked stiffly up to the podium. As I looked out to the crowd, I suddenly had a cumulative attack of stage fright. Why should I be afraid? I had already fought Ridley, Kraid and Metroid Prime multiple times, yet a large crowd full of rich basterds terrified me. This was the second time today that I had to wrestle with my emotions! I eventually pushed my fear down to a remote part of my mind. I cleared my throat and started by saying “people of the Galactic Federation…” I was pleased to see more than a few surprised reactions at hearing a female voice coming out of a killer with a such a reputation. “ The Metroid program was an understandable mistake…” Yeah right. They sent me in to help the program researchers and didn’t tell me that live Metroids were loose in the station. So I had to clean up the rabid jelly fish with teeth, and then they nearly arrested me for destroying them as they were “expensive animals.” I almost shot them all then and there. The Metroids and the humans. “And as such, I accept the apology from the Federation and the Valor Star as a condolence.” I was red in the face with rage at having to lie through my teeth for the Galactic Federation. Again. By the time I got to my seat, my gun was twitching and I was muttering a few phrases that cannot be repeated in polite company. Those in the immediate area turned pale and shifted a little farther away. It was a short speech, but to the point. I had to leave to prevent myself from blowing all of the rich basterds to the nearest remote moon! However, as I walked mechanically down the hallway, an officer whose arrogance I could cut with a knife, strode up with military precision to me and said “Aran, the Galactic Federation has another job for you. Your time off has to be cut short. The mission is to start now.” I accepted the mission, then kicked the man viciously in the fork of his legs. As his hands flew to his *ahem* manhood, his eyes bugged out, and his quivering frame collapsed to the floor, I felt somewhat better.


Time: 0803
Earth system 02537
Space station Zaneret
Docking bay A-4


I read the mission as I moved toward my ship. Pretty simple stuff. Infiltrate, confiscate and annihilate a Space Pirate cruiser. Did I mention that this particular cruiser had twenty five hundred of the best Troopers the Space pirates have ever trained? As I said, pretty simple. As I continued walking toward my ship, my friend from Lambda brigade from my days in the Navy, Zack walked up. He looked like my fraternal twin. Bottle green eyes and spiky blonde hair. In fact, we were often mistaken for brother and sister as we spent so much time together. “Samus! Your ship is ready for launch!” I nodded and jogged over to him. “Hey! I heard that your vacation was cut short, that sucks.” “No, really?” I replied. He laughed a little and then said, “So, do you know what they dragged your a** out of bed for?” “Only a few details. Get in, blow up and get out of a cruiser filled with Space Pirates armed to the teeth with every conceivable weapon this side of the galaxy. Simple really.” “ Well, that’s you’re the one with the fancy armor and not me.” Zack didn’t like to kill people, or a living creature. That was the only weakness he had in the Marines, but he could however make a working fission reactor out of things you usually throw out, like he had this skill to see what something could be rather than what it is. “Well, my launch time is in about three cycles so I’d better run my diagnostics and get ready.” Zack gave me a salute, and a nod. I pressed a luminous control on the holodeck of my Hunter class light scout ship. The screen immediately began flashing diagnostics and soon enough, a deep rumble rattled through the frame of the ship, it soon became a roar as the afterburners kicked in, then was silenced with a “wumph!” as the ship was ejected into the velvety black vacuum of space.

Time: 0947
Adrinii System 26734
Section F-8

scar104


Pseudo_Intellektual

PostPosted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 8:50 am


Great! It needs editing... (* 3nodding Editor 3nodding *) But other than that, it's great. I love the game. So, you rock.
Reply
★Crazy Squid Writing★

 
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