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Hello, Fezzik here coming to you from Boise Idaho. For the next several months, I will be making a post here (writing of course, anything from poetry to rants) every Saturday Evening. Thank you and come on Saturday!

***Note: Sorry I haven't posted. Homework has piled up and I was busy last night. This next item is an oooolllldd thing a friend and I made, so he gets partial credit.

Peg Him With Your Shoe!
The David A. Bennett Story

Hi. This is Cody Brown writing. This is the amazing fictional tale of David Bennett, a close friend of mine. Ok Now this is David himself writing, what you are about to read will never ever, ever happen… well I hope not anyway.


IT was a Tuesday afternoon, Carol and Brian Bennett were in a plane on their way to the small city of Boise, Idaho when Carol started to feel very ill. She got out of her seat and went to the airplane bathroom. She sat down and relieved herself. Before she flushed she noticed a small baby boy in her crud.
“Ahh,” she said, “I feel much better. Oh here’s where I put my Cabbage Patch doll. Wait… that’s my new son, I’ll name him Crud, no that’s not a good name. I’ll name him David Anthony Bennett. Who’s my Davy?” Later on she washed her newborn son David off in the toilet and showed him to Brian who fainted. When they arrived in Boise they drove to their new house on 3964 Constitution Way. They lived a happy life until the year of 1997 on his birthday. Carol and her new husband Greg noticed that whenever David was angered he would throw many things but favorably shoes.

Years later he still had not grown out of his shoe throwing habits and every day it seemed to get worse and he became stronger. He kept saying to his mother in a joking way ‘Shut up you f**!’

In 5th grade he met a Mr. Jordan M. Dugmore and a few other people like Cody Brown, who had snowball fights with him regularly. The next year he met who would become his best friends. Those people were Alyssa, Sarah Lew, Angel, Jon, Henrietta, and Dylan Shimel. Now whenever Jordan a.k.a. the moving target angered David he decided to peg him with his shoe, hence the title. Everyone was amazed at his speed and accuracy. Well, Jordan didn’t seem to learn from his mistakes and kept on annoying David. Later he got bored of hitting Jordan and started to use it on more interesting targets outside of the playground.

Later on he began bringing home dinner for his family. They were all impressed but disgusted, because what he brought home were dead animals such as rabbits and other small rodents. It was in May when he and his friends were sucked into a portal from the ball wall to the 5th dimension. You will learn about that in Angel’s book.

In our first year of junior high school, Cody discovered the secret to anti-gravity and used it to build a jet pack for David so he could fly and throw shoes in case he has to save the world and/or universe. None of us really thought that much of using it for those reasons and used it for transportation.

A year later David volunteered to help the police department. The police agreed and gave him a badge and gun. He refused to use the gun and explained his so called condition. They laughed and put him in a training course to see what he could really do. They were surprised to see that he did better then anyone had ever done before, so they had no choice but to believe him about having an extremely bizarre shoe throwing abilities.

He retired from the force two years later. He then set up a punk rock band with his friends. Their name… was Blinkin Park 182. They were the most famous band since The Beatles. They even had the Cody is Dead conspiracy. But instead of throwing his guitar to the ground he threw his shoe into the audience. He had many offers to create his own shoe. He combined Vans, Airwalks, and Nike Airs to form the “Pegger,” referring to when he pegged Jordan with his shoe. The band was very successful and put out many albums (including The Pukeasaurus, Garage Band Blues, and Bucktoothed Bozos From Under the Bed) they also made three and ½ movies. During the process of the forth movie David became tired of the acting life and wished he had stayed with the police force despite the fame, fortune, and babes.

David eventually became a secret agent for the CIA. He was very happy with his new job. He had beans for dinner when he received the news that he was to save the world from the evil Dr. Healy. David finally realized that this was the man who had killed his father Brian which is also why Carol was remarried. David made an attempt to kill him but Dr. Healy’s stupid scientific stuff defeated him in an exciting battle that I don’t want to describe because this is David and I had a concussion after the battle so I don’t remember. OK, this is Cody, but what happened is Dr. Healy stunned David with his stupid science and analogies like “I’m sorry I forgot to put the last bolt in the airplane wing and all those people died. It was an accident.” And then used a salt solution to temporarily blind David. He then used a dumb project wild game to defeat David. After this happened Cody flew in with his new and improved hover craft and shocked Dr. Healy with a lighting gun. He then flew off to the Mega Shoe Tower (which is really a rickety old fort he made in the sixth grade with the help of his friends.)

David soon recovered with the help of Cody’s even more scientific stuff in his underground fortress that he was keeping a secret from David because it was supposed to be a surprise birthday present to himself. As soon as he recovered he took a vacation to the Bahamas. He was in the best of times and the worst of times. Well really it was the worst of times because Cody had sent him a secret message and warned him about the evil wrath of Dr. Healy. David suddenly realized he had so much hope, it had turned to despair. He found himself dreading his vacation and secretly went to defeat Dr. Healy. The President stopped him by giving him an 189ft. long ham and cheese sub sandwich.

After many hour of chewing he finished the very large sandwich and went to Cody’s underground fortress. When he arrived Cody had come up with some new scientific thingy’s and programmed his shoes to have a target lock, to fly through the air as fast as the speed of light, and make the smell give them a life long confusion ray. David thanked him and flew off on his jet pack to defeat the evil Dr. Healy.

Three minutes later…

“So, it’s come to this eh David?” said the evil Dr.
“I’ll never stop fighting you!”
“There’s something I must tell you something before you die. I’m your fathers cousins uncles second cousins sisters husbands ex- wives uncles cousins third cousin twice removed!”
“Noooooooooo… wait. What does that do with any thing?”
“Well, nothing. It was actually useless info that makes a good affect.”
“Oh… Okay.”
David threw his shoe at the Dr. and it ricocheted off and hit David who flew out the window onto the Eiffel Tower, which was strange was because they were in Wisconsin. David’s last known word was, “Hi!”

Epilogue

All of the lives of David’s many friends were changed forever. Jordan began to show signs of insanity and was put in a mental facility, Alyssa flew away to the Amazon and lived free with the monkeys, Sarah began breeding basset hounds and today has 101 of them, Henrietta made her own anime cartoon and it was a very successful show about a shoe throwing superhero, Angel assisted Henrietta with her show, Jon also went crazy and thought he was transforming into a shoe, and Cody searched for many long years for David’s corpse and yet he never found it. And Dylan helped everyone except Jordan cause he went nutsy-cu-cuu. His body was never found by anyone, but there have been many sightings of a flying shoe-throwing man. So David might still live on and be playing with his Hacky-Sack . But this world may never know. BUM BUM BUMMM!

Just Kidding.
None of this occurred.
Ha, Ha stupid!