Welcome to Gaia! ::

The Dreamer's Sanctuary

Back to Guilds

 

Tags: Dreams, Fantasy, Roleplays 

Reply Inked Illusions (Writing/Art/Books)
Kwki's Crap

Quick Reply

Enter both words below, separated by a space:

Can't read the text? Click here

Submit

Kwki Teh Frost Troll

PostPosted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 10:49 am


Well I like to write peotry and do manga. So please don't bash me too bad. And some crit would be nice.

Art-
User Image
Yay! Athro girls! It turned from a ballrina sketch to an athro group costume picture. I wanted to put some diologue (sp?) But there wasn't enough room.

Bunny Girl- redface How did we end up with these costumes again?

Fox Girl- Cuz the pervert on shift made 'mistake'. If I ever see him again, I swear...

Cat Girl- I don't know... it's sorta cute...

User Image
A dragon halfling boy. It was GOING to be a profile pratice sketch, but my imagination got the better of me. I do like the wings and the scales, though.

Poetry-

Crows in the Snow-

Crows never looked so uncommen,
with they're glossy coat.
But they look like there the only ones,
in the land of snow.
Moving black dots, in the still, white world.

So, yeah. Theres all my crap.
PostPosted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 7:57 pm


The bunny girl is cute. ^.^ Cat girl's head seems to be in an odd position. confused

Scourged Angel


Sydd Rose
Crew

PostPosted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 3:50 am


I agree with scourged about the heads. They all appear a little disjointed from the bodies. It makes for a very unique effect. Not sure to say keep it or leave it. ::She smiles and shrugs:: it's definitely a unique look.

::twitches slightly at the poetry:: For the most part this is alright. But here... lets fix a few things and see if it looks a bit better....

Quote:
Crows never looked so uncommon,
with their glossy coats.
But they look like they're the only ones,
in the land of snow.
Moving black dots, in the still, white world.


::Chuckles and nods:: much better. Since crow is plural coat should be too. And you got your there, their, and they're all mixed around. Great concept, just remember to double check spelling, and get your commonly misplaced words right. 3nodding

There: Look, up there! It's a bird, its a plane, its Under dog?
They're: They are at a party so they're going to be late.
Their: The coco's and kiki's all went splat as the Gaian's pulled their mouses off the screen to play "Let the Bodies Hit the Floor"

Alright, last comment is that the last line feels a little forced. As it sits right now it doesn't feel necessary. I would suggest maybe expanding it into another four line stanza to give us more of the imagery instead of just telling us in a hit and run line.

That's my two cents, take 'em or leave em, but if you do leave em, would you be kind enough to let me know. I gotta do the laundry soon. blaugh
PostPosted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 9:09 am


Bah, grammer ain't my best subject.-_-

I didn't even notice the head were weird. I'll try not to do it in the future.

Kwki Teh Frost Troll


Sydd Rose
Crew

PostPosted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 7:45 pm


Don't worry it's not bad exactly just different. Reminds me a bit of bobble head dolls.
Reply
Inked Illusions (Writing/Art/Books)

 
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Offers
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games
Mini-Games
Play with GCash
Play with Platinum
//
//

// //

Have an account? Login Now!

//
//