Welcome to Gaia! ::

i'm gonna post my various poems and novels and i hope you enjoy 'em i would love feed back

let me in!


baby i'm just here to help!

i'd do anything for you.
Anything you want i'd do for you.

i'd die for you and that scares the s**t outta me.

you want to do what ever you want and get drunk every night.?

then i'll stay beside you and watch over you so nothing happens to you

you want to know everything?

then i'll go out and figure it out for you so you don't get hurt.

you want to be taller?

then i'll make the world crawl on their knees just so you can look down on it.

you want a perfect relationship?

let me have you.

let me show you how perfect i could treat you.

let me take care or you.

baby just let me in. thats all i ask. let me have that piece of you.

i don't want your body i just want your mind, i want your soul.

i need you to let me in.

thats all i ask.

let me in



idk if it would really count as a poem i was kinda just ranting but she said it sounded like a poem so...voila!

vampires continued

He was about to take another path to cut her off again when he noticed a gap in the scaffolding and decided he’d had enough of this cat and mouse game. He caught her by the back of her leather coat and pulled her back against him. Her feet were dangling above the metal walk by at least a foot and a half. She made to kick him and he gave her a small shake before wagging a long finger in her face. She smacked his finger away from her face.
“Put me down, you great lout!” She struggled against the arm he wrapped around her slender waist.
“Now, Pigeon, you are making me feel as though you don’t like me.” His voice was soft in her ear. His warm breath fluttered against her neck giving her shivers. He caught both her hands and held them in one of his.
“I will let you down if you promise not to run again. Surely you know I would catch you anyway and I won’t be so nice next time.” His lips were close to her ear as he spoke. He couldn’t help breath her scent into his lungs. She still smelled deliciously of fear but anger had added itself to the mix. It was very intoxicating indeed. He felt the shiver go through her body when his lips brushed the sensitive area beneath her ear when he spoke.
He held her against his hard body for several more minutes until she acquiesced. Just to be irritating he held onto her a moment longer before placing her feet on the walkway. No sooner had her feet touched the ground then she whirled on him yelling something at him that he didn’t quite catch while punctuating each word with a slap. He would have laughed at her audacity had he not been in such a foul mood to begin with. The theft of his personal belongings had only contributed to it. Making him well and truly piqued.
He wrapped a long fingered hand around each arm above the elbows then lifted her up so she was eye to eye with him. Heaven above she was enough to make a saint sin he thought to himself. Heaven knew he was no saint. He mirrored her thoughts of earlier though his had a completely different meaning. She kicked out at him again. This time the thick sole of her lug boot made contact with his leg just below the knee. He didn’t even groan damn him. Neither did he put her down. She hauled the leg back preparing to give another kick when he shook her almost hard enough to make her teeth rattle.
“Stop that.” he ground out. “I swear to heaven woman I have never wanted to do violence to a female before in my very long life, but you are pushing my limits.” He honestly had never met a woman that didn’t cower at his feet when he was in the midst of the change like he was now. Even when he was human he had never had problems with women like he was having with this one.
He stopped his brooding when he felt her stiffen beneath his hands. She finally had ceased her assault on his person and truly looked at him. She stared into his eyes or rather at his eyes. They were no longer the deep blue they had been when they were first face to face. They were now almost white the pupil a tiny pinpoint in the center of the unnatural iris. Her eyes widened in astonishment. There was no fear in the depths of her eyes that he could make out only curiosity now. He was slightly curious to see if she would cry out in fear if he let the change take him completely while holding her thus. No. He was becoming tired of this game and only wanted his belongings so he could go about his way.
“Pigeon, I will let you go only once more. Do not try me. Do you understand?” She nodded. “I am not toying with you.” He bared his teeth in a snarl that he tried to pass off as a tight smile.
Oh, holy man, he’s sexy even when he’s pissed she thought. His voice was very gruff at this point but still had the ability to turn her insides to mush. She couldn’t place the accent. It wasn’t one she had ever heard before. But she knew she wanted to hear more of it.
He placed her feet on the walkway once again with more gentleness than she probably deserved. She rubbed her upper arms where his hands had held her. She was sure they would hold the imprint of his large hands for days to come. Her eyes were cast down hiding her thoughts from him. He wasn’t so sure he liked that or not. It gave her the appearance of meekness. She was anything but meek. She was a little hellion.
Her gaze traveled to his shoes taking in the black matte leather shoe then moved on to the denim clad legs that seemed to go on for days. He certainly was a tall glass of water. His jeans were black and faded in all the right places. Especially...get your head out of the gutter she reprimanded herself. Her gaze hesitated a moment longer below his belt then continued up his torso. His waist was trim. She could see the six pack beneath the snug fitting cotton shirt. The higher her eyes traipsed the dryer her mouth became. Her fingers longed to reach out and stroke the muscles of his chest. Yes, that red shirt definitely hugged his body to perfection. It should be illegal to look that good.
He stood patiently while she looked him over. He was used to this type of attention from women. They saw the beauty on the outside but failed to see the torment that lived within. He cleared his throat politely drawing her attention back to his face. She looked into his eyes but was slightly distracted when he rubbed his jaw with a knuckle. Her eyes focused on the bunched muscle of his biceps then. He wasn’t overly muscular like one of those tiny brained weight lifters but he was very nicely defined.
Their eyes met and she found his were again the dark blue she had first seen. The pupils were still tiny points and she vaguely thought that unusual. They should have been dilated if only the tiniest bit due to the lack of any real light inside the building. Later she would contemplate that when he was gone.
He didn’t seem overly interested in her and it tweaked her a little. She didn’t know that he’d had plenty of time to observe her when she was hiding above him here on the scaffolding. He had perfect night vision even on the blackest of nights. It was practically daylight for him inside this building. She had seemed like a tiny little bird perched up there hiding in the shadows.
When he trailed the boy into the abandoned building he had known right away that there was another occupant in residence. He entered the open door quietly. Listening for the boys heavy breathing. He heard them argue above him but didn’t give it away. He felt surprise was always the best bet. A sharp sound like a slap was heard then a growl a whispered hiss from the female again then the metal walkway began to make a soft pinging noise. He knew they were on the move again.
He didn’t know why he called out to the boy. The boy didn’t stop but the girl did. She seemed to freeze above him then quickly crouch down from view.
Now here he was with the hellion born of a scaredy cat. No boy. No personal items. He wanted to hit something.
“Where did the boy go?” His voice was rough. He couldn’t help it.
“Huh?” She squeaked.
“Where did the boy go?” he asked again patiently.
“What boy?” she asked innocently. She looked as if she were confused by his question. He couldn’t sense any deceit in her at the moment.
“The boy I followed into this building. The one you were running through the rafters with trying to get away. That boy.”
“Oh. That was my brother. He’s not a boy though, he’s twenty. He acts like he’s twelve most of the time though.” She gave him plenty of information but not that which he wanted to know.
“Where did he go, this highly experienced man of twenty?”
“I don’t know. He’s not very reliable, you should know. What do you want with him?”
He groaned. He didn’t think she quite got the way this interrogation was supposed to go. He was the one asking the questions here. Briefly he thought he liked her better when she was scared to death of him.
“He has something of mine that I want back.” he ran fingers through his hair in frustration before continuing, “Will he come back here looking for you?”
“Perhaps in a day or two.” her eyes widened at the look on his face, “What? I told you he wasn’t very reliable!”
“Look little pigeon, for your sake you better hope he comes back before that.” He took a menacing step towards her.
“Stop calling me that! I’m not a bird!” She didn’t back away when he came even closer to glare down at her. She stood her ground not giving in to the fear that wanted desperately to escape. Her eyes glared hotly right back at him. His eyes were taking on the feral gleam again that had sent her running earlier.
“Pigeon, I don’t think you see the eminent danger you are in right now.” he hissed. The accent became thicker the angrier he became she noticed. She also noticed the blue of his irises becoming opaque again. That wasn’t the only changes happening to him. His perfect white teeth were different. The size of his eye teeth was substantially longer and seemed to her much sharper. This couldn’t be good at all. Oh, holy man!
“You’re a...” she didn’t finish her thought as he now had her pinned against the wall a hand on either side of her head.
“That’s right pigeon. I am.” his voice was like warm velvet over her skin. He confirmed her unspoken guess without putting a name to it himself. He was trying to hold on to his control trying to scare her just enough to make her think. But she smelled so damn good. Not fear this time. Just pure undiluted adrenalin. He was bent down leaning against the wall to look her in the eye as he spoke to her. He leaned closer placing his cheek against hers to inhale more of her scent. Heaven help them if desire should come into this. He didn’t know if he would be able to deny that hunger. It had been so long since he had indulged in that appetite.
She trembled delicately when his breath feathered her ear. Her hands reached for him. Whether it was to pull him closer or push him away she wasn’t entirely positive. But she heard a moan and didn’t know which one of them it came from. Her palms pressed against his chest.
“Ah, little pigeon, you smell so delicious I could eat you up.” he groaned.
When the words sank in to her muddled brain she jumped as though coming out of a dream. That was when her hands on his chest began pushing him away in earnest. She felt the rumble in his chest before the deep sound of laughter hit her ears. He snapped his teeth together next to her exposed neck before he said, “That’s better. Safer for the both of us.” He scraped his teeth over the delicate white skin below her ear in a silent warning. It was a bad move. He knew it in a heartbeat. Her heartbeat. It accelerated beneath his lips. Pulsing wildly. Taunting him.
He growled low in his throat when her fingers clenched digging her nails into his chest. She wasn’t shoving him away any longer. This was very bad indeed. He slid his tongue over the scrape feeling her heart beating madly. Her blood sang to him. He couldn’t help himself. He placed his hands under her arms and dragged her soft body hard against his own. She wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck.
She showed no hesitation or lack of enthusiasm. She held onto him tightly kissing him full on the mouth. There was no revulsion at what he was at how he looked. She accepted him as he was. His hands slid down her back to cup her buttocks then slid under her thighs. His fingers contacted bare skin where her tights stopped and her skirt fell away from her legs. He tightened his grip on her naked thighs pulling her hips closer to him. His hands glided up her thighs to her buttocks again insinuating themselves under her panties to kneed the firm rounded flesh there.
He felt the heat from between her legs as he pressed her core more firmly against his rock hard stomach. She moan into his mouth from the sharp thrill of their bodies touching so intimately. Vaguely she thought this was insane but couldn’t stop herself. Later she would think about it and wonder what he had done to her to make her so wanton but right now it felt to damn good to worry about it.
Her heat seeped into him where their bodies touched. Even though their skin didn’t touch he could feel her heat wrapping itself around him. Pulling him in. He could smell her and she was like an addictive drug that he couldn’t put down. The need to sink himself into her was so strong he pulled his head back away from her throat. She didn’t stop kissing him though. She placed several kisses along his jaw and down his throat.
His breathing was so heavy she felt each breath he took where their bodies were in such intimate contact. Each breath sent pulses through her body nearly igniting her. She thought she might well embarrass herself if he kept pressing against her like that.
He came to his senses when he felt her teeth against his throat. It was only a tiny n** of his skin but it was enough to wake him up. He slid his hands down her legs which were wrapped around him to circle her ankles at his back. He began to untangle himself from her.
“Release me.” his voice was strained even to his own ears. She continued to hold him close kissing his neck. “Pigeon, if you don’t release me now, you will soon be very sorry.” Letting go of her ankles he grasped her hands from his shoulders and pulled her roughly from him when he felt her teeth brush his neck again.
He had to assume that she didn’t know she had been playing with fire when she nipped him with her teeth. She couldn’t possibly know what biting him would have done to him. He had to stop this insanity before he did something they both would regret when it was over.
He practically dropped her to the metal walkway he let go of her so quickly. He turned his back to her. His breath rasped in his throat as he tried to gain control. His hands shook as he shoved them forcefully through his hair. Cold sweat broke out over his body. He had never let himself get so close to the change without giving in. The way this was tearing him apart inside he didn’t see it happening again anytime soon.
Damn, he was peevish. Before she could catch her breath from his first little lesson, he snatched her up by the front of her jacket with one hand and dangled her over the scaffolding. Though she was reasonably sure he wouldn’t kill her before he could get his precious things back, she wrapped her hands around his wrist in a death grip to be sure. He let her hang there for a moment before he spoke.
“I will give you three days to bring my belongings back to me. My address is in the notebook inside the bag. If I don’t hear from you in three days, I will come looking for you.” he pulled her face close to his before continuing, “ My advice, pigeon, don’t make me come looking for you.” With that he pulled her back to safety and shoved her against the wall with enough force that it knocked the breath from her. She closed her eyes and winced at the contact. When she opened her eyes again he was gone.
She slid down the wall into a heap heaving a sigh of relief. She couldn’t believe what she had just seen. She pinched herself to she if she had been dreaming. No, no such luck.

* * * *
Galen was well and truly pissed. He wanted to stay there and wait for the insolent bugger to return and give him the thrashing he deserved. But he was needed back at Romani’s to cook this evening. He was fuming by the time he reached the club. In all his years on this planet no one had ever dared to take something from him. This was new territory for him. One he didn’t really want to explore.
Speaking of something new, what the hell was up with his reaction to that little chit? He was positive he had intended to only frighten her not to almost ravish her. But when she wrapped herself around him like that he nearly lost his head. Even now, he could still feel the lustful craving for her body. Her scent still clung to him. He needed to shower. That would get her out of his head. He was sure of it. Well, it seemed like a good place to start.
He meticulously removed his clothing and placed it folded into the clothes hamper sitting in his bedroom by the door leading to the bathroom. He was strange that way. He was somewhat of a neat freak. Sometimes he would wonder if he had been like that when he was alive or had he picked that trait up along with the others when he was changed. It annoyed him sometimes as well. It limited him. He would be compelled to stop and fix things that were out of place no matter what he was doing at the time. He could be distracted by puzzles. Not able to stop till he figured it out. There had been a time when he had to count everything he came upon. It took him many centuries to curb that compulsion. For some reason though he couldn’t get past the neatness. But he supposed there were worse things in life than neatness.
He stepped under the blast of water letting it take away the haunt of her. He stood beneath the spray for several minutes before he began to wash. The heat from the water soaked into his skin making him feel most alive. It was very late winter now and the sun set early bringing the chill of evening. It was one of the things he didn’t like about the north west U.S. The seasonal chill made his body lethargic. He tired easily in the cold. Though the longer nights let him be active more hours than the summer ones they sapped his strength. The hot shower rejuvenated him nicely.
He stayed in the glass enclosed shower some minutes longer letting the hot water pulse down on his head. Even after several decades with hot running water it never got old for him to just stand and feel it run over him. He loved this century with all its modern advances. He appreciated having hot water at the turn of a knob or lifting of a lever. So much easier than cutting wood, making a fire, carrying water in to the fire and waiting for it to heat. Children of the day knew nothing of hardship nor appreciated their good fortune. He supposed if he had been born with these luxuries he would take them for granted also.
When he finally shut the water off every surface in the room was covered with condensation. He ran the water so hot a thick steam filled the large bathroom. The glass separating the shower from the rest of the room was fogged along with the large mirror over the sink. It would take forever for the steam to dissipate from the room not to mention getting the mirror to stay clear. But it wasn’t like he was going to use that mirror any time soon. He hadn’t been able to see himself now in over 550 years. It was no great loss to him. He remembered what he looked like. Well, ok, maybe he didn’t really remember so much as was told regularly what he looked like. His hair was long enough that he usually wore it back in a ponytail at the base of his head. He could see it. Raven black. Nothing wrong with black hair. Unless you were a female, an actor, or lived in California. Then you wanted blonde hair of course. He found that boring really. Oh, he had been charmed by it at first but when it became what everyone wanted it got old very fast.
His eyes were blue with thick black lashes. When he was alive he didn’t really pay much attention to eye color. They were blue, brown, green, whatever. But women seemed to get weird over his eyes. They would stare at him period but his eyes always brought them back for a second and third glance. He wondered if their appeal came from being vampire. After all when he changed they mesmerized his victims. A man that frequented his restaurant told him once that he had bedroom blues. He later found out that the man was flirting with him. So many things changed with the passing years but many stayed the same. In the past it was just kept behind closed doors. Americans were so bold. He didn’t mind the complement, but he didn’t encourage it.
He was dark complected and so looked as if he had a perpetual suntan. Which helped him blend in with the crowd. He rubbed a thick towel over his arms and down his chest soaking up the beaded water. Thankfully he wasn’t covered with an abundance of body hair. He was muscular from doing much of the physical labor in his club. He unloaded the trucks when they came several times weekly and put everything away. It was the neat freak thing again. No one took offense, they just knew it was one of his weird quirks. Aside from manual labor he was unnaturally strong because of what he was.
At 6' 10" he towered over most. He felt a giant in a world of tiny people. He contemplated basketball at one point in time. But he wasn’t a very good team player. So it didn’t work out. Besides that he was too aggressive when it came to competition. He liked to win. Always.
He finished towel drying his hair then hung the towel on the rack and walked naked out into his bedroom. As soon as he stepped into the room he could smell her scent on his discarded clothing. A growl rumbled in his throat. He had blocked this afternoon from his mind for those few short moments in the shower. Now the pique came back in full force. He wanted his belongings back pronto.
He didn’t care about the $2500 in the money clip tucked in the small inside pocket. Nor did he care about the PDA or the laptop. He could give two shits about them. No, he wanted the pocket watch and the notebook. He would tear that boy limb from limb if he didn’t get them back.
Why didn’t he follow him instead of playing cat and mouse with his sister? He could have trailed the kid on the scent of his adrenaline high alone for blocks. No, he had to stay and torment the little chit. If the boy had any sense of loyalty at all for his sister, he wouldn’t have left her there alone to get caught for something he did.
Perhaps, Galen thought, I should teach him that lesson as well. He would have stayed to protect his sister no matter what the gain or loss.
He dressed himself in a black suit, charcoal grey dress shirt, red silk tie. Brushed his hair back into his customary ponytail and secured it with a leather thong. Picked up the only piece of white clothing he owned, a chefs coat, and took the old open freight elevator up to the office of his restaurant.
It was a Monday evening, so the place wouldn’t be all that busy tonight. Which was why his chef even considered letting him into his own kitchen. Galen would do some inventory and other paperwork before he would go greet and seat some of the patrons. He had regulars throughout the week that he would occasionally step out to chat with. He never thought himself much of a people person before. That had probably been for the best in the early years. He wasn’t very good company back then. Considering he ended up drinking most of the unlucky buggers who stayed too long in his company.
The evening passed quickly for the most part. Until he had some heated words with Grigori about a fiasco from earlier in the day. Galen tried his hand at souffle and it didn’t turn out as planned. Grigori yelled that he needed to get some finesse with his hands. Souffle was delicate and Galen was a barbarian. Of course Galen told him he had more finesse in his pinky than Grigori possessed in his entire body and that he could give him names of women who would attest to the fact. Grigori told him to take his uncivilized behavior from his kitchen.
Galen took off the paper hat he had been wearing crushing it in his large hand and threw it in the trash on his way out of the kitchen. He was scowling darkly, and cursing the fat little dictator that called himself a chef. He should just bite him and get it over with. It would stop his suffering. The little man slapped him with a wooden spoon every time he got a chance. Galen knew when he hired him that the nice biddable facade he put on was just that, an act. But he had hired him anyway and had been called a barbarian pretty much daily from day one. If the little man only but knew how close to the truth he was with that label.
A sane person might say just fire his bossy a**. But Galen was under no delusions about his own sanity. The little Nazi would stay because he was very good at what he did. Besides Galen was getting much better in the kitchen since Grigori took pity on him and began instructing him. He just couldn’t help that he was stronger than humanly normal and when he whipped things he ended up beating them to death. He vowed he would use a lighter hand as he dropped heavily into his office chair.
He fumed silently for a few moments then calmed down by repeating a mantra several times. He studied Buddhism for many years now and found the path to enlightenment not only soothing but also, something he could believe in. He had died a Catholic and had been reborn a Buddhist. He wasn’t afraid of the crucifix nor did it burn him if he touched it. It just held no meaning for him any longer. In the churches eyes he was a demon and damned. He knew he was damned. There were so many unspeakable acts he had committed since his turning he could never atone for them. So many deaths at his hands in the beginning.
He shuddered at the carnage he saw in his minds eye before shutting the memories out and getting down to clearing the paperwork from his desk. In addition to the very successful club he ran he also had a stockbroker that was very good at investing for him. He was extremely wealthy at this point. Money didn’t really mean much to him, but he did like that he could buy what ever item struck his fancy.

vampires continued

He didn’t know for sure if he didn’t want to see her or if he did. He tried to tell himself he didn’t care one way or the other. She meant nothing to him except the means of getting his personal items back. He was making too much of his reactions to her. Making it more than it was. Sure. And the dream last night of her wreathing beneath him was her death throws. Except there was no blood and they had both been naked.
He pulled the leather thong from his hair letting it free and then ran his hand through the thick mass. He sat in his chair pouring a fresh glass of the blood wine. Loosening his tie he sat back in the chair and decided to get drunk.

* * * * *

Elaina was kept busy all day at work running around the city. She didn’t have a chance to even take lunch let alone skip it to leave early. The dispatcher managed to give her an assignment 20 minutes before quitting time. It took her almost to the edge of the city. It would take her until 6:30 p.m. before she would get back to the building to turn in her paperwork.
This day was getting worse as it went. The last assignment didn’t go well. The gentleman was on the phone with a client and he kept her waiting. He was the only one there to sign for it so she couldn’t drop it with someone else and bail. Then when he finally finished with the phone call he made her wait until he opened the package and checked it for damages before he would sign the release form. She was a relatively patient person but she was ready to strangle him by the time she got his signature.
It was 7:30 p.m. by the time she turned in her paperwork and left the building for the day. She made decent tips for the day, but hadn’t made any dents in the brother problem.
She stopped at two of the pawn shops on her way home. No one at either shop had seen anyone matching her brother’s description. The third shop she stopped at was closed for the night. She looked at her watch and realized it was after 9:00 p.m. Damn! All the others would be closed by now too.
She felt so frustrated she wanted to cry. Damn, damn, damn! A whole day down the drain and nothing new to go on. She sucked at this investigative stuff. She was almost as bad at it as she realized she was at raising her brother. She should have throttled him half the times she threatened it. Maybe now she wouldn’t be in this predicament.
She gave a frustrated sound deep in her throat and roared the Ninja down the road toward the place she called home. A niggle of hope springing eternal inside her that Jason would be there to put her out of her misery. He wasn’t of course.
She prepared for another night of uneasy sleep. The thought that she was down to 48 hours kept running unbidden through her head. She had to find her brother.
The last thought she had was of the tall beautiful man that had done the most erotic things to her in the brief moments they were together. She didn’t sleep around like most young women her age felt the need to do. Oh she had her share of boyfriends, but only a select few had bragging rights when it came to sex and her. It took more than a look from a man for her to consider him as a bed partner. But she had responded to him like a cat to cream. Letting him man handle her as if he had the express right to.
She considered that maybe it had been too long since her last romantic encounter. She had to admit he looked too inviting for her own good. She lay there with her eyes closed seeing him in her minds eye. It had been dark but she was able to see the blue of his eyes.
She punched her pillow bunching it up and forcefully lay her head back down on it. Huffing out an impatient breath she tried to make herself think of something other than the hottie that threatened her existence. But all trains of thought lead back to him. Thinking about her missing brother brought her back to him. Thinking about the situation at hand took her back to him. Heck, thinking about the weather took her back to him. It was frustrating.
Finally she fell into a fitful sleep in which she dreamed about him. NEW: May 12, 2008 Like the night before the dream started out with her running from something huge and menacing. Most of the dreams she had were of her running away from something frightening. It was never anything she could see. Just something she knew meant her great harm. She would run and run until she finally had no where else to run. Then she would be forced to turn and fight. But no matter how many weapons she had, she always missed what ever it was that was trying to get her. She would wake up shaking, sometimes on the edge of her bed, knowing that it would be a long time before she went back to sleep again.
This night the dream started out like all the rest. It was dark and she was running down a deserted alley when it suddenly became dense woods with underbrush so thick she could barely run without stumbling. Her heart was pounding so loud that she couldn’t hear anything over the sound of it. Her breath came so ragged and harsh it pained her chest.
She stumbled over a fallen log and found herself tumbling down a small incline. She came to a stop beside the large trunk of a tree that had bushes growing close to it. She rolled quickly beneath the bushes to hide and tried to listen for whatever was following her. Her back was to the tree and she could feel the rough bark biting into her skin through her shirt.
She tried to listen over the pounding of her heart but only heard the swishing of the wind through the trees. Slowly she peered around the tree to see if it was safe to come out of hiding. At the top of the incline she could barely make out the hulking shape of a man. She hoped that whatever was after her couldn’t see any better in the dark than she could but realistically she knew it didn’t work that way. She could only hide for so long before it would be back on her trail again.
The figure stood there for several moments as though not knowing which way to go giving her time to catch her breath. She was slowly losing her mind waiting. Finally the figure moved in a direction away from her. She waited a few moments longer then made a run for it back the way she came trying to make as little noise as possible. It was hard running up the small hill through the trailing multi-floral rose and the bramble bushes. They seemed to grab at her feet and pull her back. The sharp barbs of their thorns tearing through her clothes and ripping her skin.
Behind her she heard thrashing and couldn’t stop herself from looking back. The figure loomed large in the darkness seeming ready to swallow her. She screamed and tried to run faster but she wasn’t watching where she was going, her foot caught in a root and she felt herself begin to fall. Her hands flew out to stop her fall. Her eyes were closed tightly and she braced for the impact of the ground. A large hand grabbed her from behind stopping her fall.
It was fight time. She had no where else to go. Finding her footing she spun on her toes and came up swinging. The hand holding her was attached to a long arm and she wasn’t having any luck connecting with any body parts. She settled for clawing at the hand and pounding her fist on the wrist. With a muttered curse she was flung to the ground.
She realized that her pursuer was human. At least that was a step in the right direction. Usually she never saw her attacker. She braved a look up in the direction of the face. Her breath sucked in and she tried to scramble away. She was looking into those ice blue eyes. The wind grabbed at the long black hair flowing loose around that beautiful face. Galen. Looking harassed and just as angry as she remembered. It was probably because his shirt was torn in several places and somehow she was the reason for it.
She didn’t know where he came from but for a moment she was grateful that he was there. He ruined that feeling by reaching down and grabbing her by the upper arm and yanking her to her feet. The next thing she knew she was naked and falling back on to something soft. He was standing over her speaking in a language she didn’t understand but appreciated all the same. He was looking at her as though he couldn’t look away and hating every minute of his weakness.
He turned from her and she called out to him to come back. For some reason desperate that he stay with her there. Reluctantly he removed his torn shirt and dropped it to the floor. His obsession with neatness forgotten there on the floor with it. His pants found themselves in a crumpled heap next before he made his way to where she now sat.
His hand caressed the top of her head, the fingers sliding through the short soft layers. The color was curious to him. Nothing that color occurred in nature. Why did she choose that red? It was one of the only colors he could differentiate from others. He looked at her face and decided it suited her. She was fire. He burned when he was near her. He didn’t like it.
His hand slid to the back of her head and pulled her closer to him. It was a little rough but he made up for it by massaging her scalp. His lips touched hers and he felt himself ignite in a slow burn. It was all the invitation she needed. Her hands landed on his chest and worked their way slowly up to his neck. They wrapped around his shoulders and pulled him closer. Fingers tangled in his hair. Her nails scraped his scalp and he shuddered in anticipation of other body parts feeling the bite of them.
He kissed down her throat, his lips covering the pulse that throbbed strongly there. A growl escaped his throat when he felt it pick up in tempo.

Chapter Two

Last night hadn’t gone well after Lisa woke up. He guessed it started off badly and steadily went down hill from there. He had packed a case for Bella and finally convinced himself everything would be fine then left her room to shower. By that time it was after nine and he felt wrung out emotionally. He locked the doors then shut off the lights as he carried Lisa up to bed with him. He didn’t turn on their bedroom light for fear of disturbing her but ended up doing just that when he slammed his big toe into the heavy oak post at the foot of their bed.
He managed to stifle the oath so that it came out a low grumble instead. It was enough to wake the sleeping woman in his arms coupled with the slight jerk he did when his toe connected with the wood. A small scream escaped her lips as she startled enough in his arms to make him almost drop her. He realized what was happening quick enough to compensate for the shifting of weight to stop her from falling.
“What are you doing, Aden!” she fumed struggling to be free of him.
He slowly put her down when he was sure she was awake enough to know where she was and not fall. He reached out and snapped the bedside lamp on to provide some light in the dark room. It wasn’t much in the way of illumination and at the moment he was strangely glad of the fact. She was showing him a side of her he hadn’t seen before. It wasn’t very flattering towards him either. She acted as if she didn’t want to be touched by him or rather couldn’t stand to be touched by him. This attitude could be over looked by him later but he didn’t want to see her too clearly to see a look on her face that he wouldn’t be able to forget ever.
It dawned on him suddenly that her lack of wanting his touch probably contributed to her sleeplessness when he was in bed next to her and why she slept soundly when he was gone. Did she think he was so callous as to expect intimacy from her so soon? He wouldn’t force himself on her and especially not when she was sleeping and unaware. What kind of man did she think he was? The anger took hold of him then and he had to turn away from her. He went to his closet to get clothes for the next day. His hands were shaking as he tried to calm himself. There’s something wrong with her. She wouldn’t act like that if there wasn’t something really wrong. She knows I would never hurt her or belittle her.
When he felt he was calm again he hung his suit on the hook beside the closet door and turned back to her. She had turned on the lamp at her side of the bed. Since she used to read before going to bed at night the light from it was much brighter lending a soft glow throughout the room. It might have been romantic any other time but it wasn’t looking like it would be used that way for a long time to come.
He watched her turn and stalk into the bathroom connected to their room. His eyes narrowed when she pointedly shut the door and locked it. They never locked the door when they were in there. He couldn’t imagine what she was thinking in that head of hers. Where the hell had his sweet adoring wife gone? Who was this shrew that took her place? If someone had told him this morning that his life would be changed so drastically before the end of the day, he would have told them there was no way. He went to work this morning and everything was seemingly normal. What the hell had happened between then and now?
He threw his hands up in the air in a clueless gesture then got comfortable in the chair facing the bathroom door. By the looks of things this was going to be quite a wait.
When she finally opened the door again he was glad to notice she was still showering. Her hair was a wet tangled mess hanging down her back but it appeared washed. She had full pajamas on under her terry robe. That was something else new for him to get used to. Well he really hadn’t expected her to go right back to her tank top and boxers or even the simple t-shirt she used to wear before getting pregnant but damn it flannel pajamas? Ok maybe the ones she had on right now weren’t flannel, but he was sure they would rear their ugly head sooner or later. He made a mental note to search out any such offending night wear and dispose of it posthaste.
She smiled at him when she realized he was sitting there watching her. That stopped his mental tirade. How could she do that? Go from spitting mad one minute to smiles the next? He wondered how many mood swings she had in the average day. And if she yelled at him like that for nothing what did his baby daughter go through while he was gone?. That thought scared him to death. He looked at her speculatively as if seeing her in a new light. Did she scream at their daughter when she wouldn’t stop crying? Did she abuse her in other ways like neglecting her not feeding her or changing her?
How many days a week did he come home to Bella crying, tired and hungry? Too many to be comfortable with. When he was home on his days off he took full responsibility for the baby. He didn’t complain though, he loved spending time with her. He loved her little smiles and the way she held her head up to look at him. Whether she was actually smiling or it was just gas he didn’t care.
The question here was: could the woman who gave birth to her come to actually hurt her if she were in one of her moods?
He was glad now that he called his mother and that Bella would be safe there for a few days until they worked this out.
“I talked to my mom today.” he said casually.
“How are they doing?” she asked absently as she turned down the bed covers.
“Fine. They thought we could use a little break by now with the baby and wondered if she could stay with them for a few days. I said I would run it by you but didn’t think it would be a problem.” He watched her reaction to his news from hooded eyes.
She spun to look at him obviously aghast at the suggestion, “What? Don’t they think I can take care of a small baby?”
He continued to sit there quietly as she ranted until she exhausted the topic. “Are you done now? It has nothing to do with your abilities to take care of our daughter. It’s their way of getting to spoil their only grandchild, Lisa. They also remember how it was for them when they first had me. They would just like to help us out some by giving us some time off. You’re not going to deny them that small pleasure are you?” She stood silently contemplating the idea a few minutes before sitting on the bed to face him.
“I suppose she could go if they have their hearts set on it.” she sounded hesitant, “How long would she be gone?”
“Only a few days honey. We would be able to sleep through the night for a change and you would have some time to go do what you want while I’m at work. Maybe go get your hair cut and styled. Go shopping...”
Whatever he had said set her off again. He just couldn’t win for losing today. What woman starts crying and screaming at you when you tell her to go spend money? He wondered what time the doctor started taking calls in the office tomorrow.
Looking back this morning he had to admit it hadn’t been that bad all in all. His daughter would be safe and loved at his parents house for awhile and his wife had agreed to it with minimal amount of fuss. She had been sleeping as usual when he left so he didn’t have to deal with any last minute change of mind.
His father met him in the drive way to help carry her things into the house but it occurred to Aden that the only thing his old man carried was the car seat with the baby in it. What was it about babies that turned grown adults into blabbering idiots? He didn’t know but he was proud of the little one already and the only thing she did so far was spit up and gurgle when she smiled.
When he got to work he asked his secretary to call the doctor’s office and put it through to him when she had him on the line. He told her to say it was extremely urgent. Then he got down to the work on his desk. He was trying to work out a money problem and lost track of time until Julie buzzed him that the doctor was on line one.
For some reason he felt a nervousness kick in as he reached for the phone on his desk.
“Hello, Dr. Mike. How are you today?” he was stalling for some reason making idle chit chat and basically wasting both their time.
“Good morning Aden. I don’t think you called me just to ask how I am, huh?” His English had a barely noticeable accent.
“No sir.” Aden cleared his throat.
“Well then what’s troubling you enough that you had your people call my people?” he chuckled softly at his own joke.
“I think there’s something wrong with Lisa. She’s having these mood swings and the ups and downs are getting worse. She’s lost a good bit of weight also since their last appointment. She’s not bonding with our baby either. I can’t say she’s done anything harmful to Bella, but I come home and the baby’s crying so badly she shakes. Lisa says she can’t get her to eat for her when I’m gone. Lisa, um,she....” He couldn’t bring himself to tell the doctor that his wife didn’t want him to touch her so badly that she couldn’t sleep at night.
“She what, Aden” The doctor prodded. He wasn’t going to let Aden off the hook that easily. He was going to make him come out and tell him everything.
“She doesn’t sleep well at night and it’s not from getting up with the baby. It’s from me being in the bed next to her. When I get up to go to work she sleeps like the dead, I can’t wake her.” He stopped to settle the uneasy feeling in his stomach, “I don’t know what to do with her. This all came to a head last night and I’m worried about our baby being at home with her alone.”
“I see.” the doctor sounded thoughtful, “I think she should come in to the office as soon as possible.”
“I didn’t tell her I was calling you. When I ask her what’s wrong she starts crying and saying she’s sorry she doesn’t know. I don’t want her to think that anyone is blaming her for any of it. Do you think your secretary could call and tell her that a test was missed the last time she was in? Then I’ll bring her in right away.”
There was silence on the line so long he thought Dr. Mike hung up. He must have stepped away from the phone to check on something because Aden heard scraping as it was picked back up. “Aden, could you get her in here this afternoon? I don’t want to postpone this too long. My nurse is making the call as we speak. Will three this afternoon be okay? We can squeeze her in then.”
Aden let out a pent up breath he hadn’t known he was holding, “That would be fine Dr. Mike. I appreciate this so much.”
“See you then.”
After the call he informed Julie his wife would be calling soon and that he needed to speak with her right away. She asked if he would like for her to call his home instead of waiting for her call. He smiled at the efficiency of his secretary. He told her no, he could wait. He didn’t tell her he had to wait.
He went back to work but couldn’t really concentrate on the task before him. He was becoming worried when she hadn’t called for a few hours. When the call finally came he breathed a sigh of relief before picking up the receiver.
“Hey there, honey.” he said with more cheer than he felt at the present.
“Aden the doctor’s office just called.”
“Oh yeah? What’s up?” His voice sounded casual even to his own ears.
“Something about a test they missed at our last scheduled appointment. They want me to come in this afternoon.”
“What time this afternoon, hon?”
“The nurse said they could squeeze me in about three o’clock. Will you be able to leave early today?” Now she was sounding a little worried. He wondered what part of this bothered her.
“That won’t be a problem. I can stop at mom and dad’s on the way home to pick up Bella.”
“No!” she said quickly before he could go on. “I mean, she said that they only needed to see me not the baby so you don’t needed to get her yet.”
“Oh, okay. I’ll be home at two.” They said good-bye and hung up.

NOTES

1. Bella learns at a very early age not to upset her mother when her father is away. Even though she is barely three years old she knows to play quietly in her room until her mother comes to get her. She had made the mistake of waking her mother only one time. The spanking she received that morning left her unable to sit comfortably for hours. She had cried silently in her room already knowing what would happen if her mother heard her sobbing. Her mother told her only babies cried. Bella wasn’t a baby.
When daddy had come home that day and picked her up she had winced when he wrapped his arm under her bottom to brace her in his arms. He had asked her what was wrong when tears came to her eyes. She had merely whispered that she had been bad today. Daddy looked sharply at her mother then and asked her what had happened. Suspicion had laced his question and even Bella had understood something was wrong with his voice. He never talked to her mother like that in front of her.
Her mother had stopped setting the table for dinner to look at him reproof on her face at his tone. “She wouldn’t take no for an answer this afternoon Adenson, so I paddled her butt. She can’t always have her way even though you seem to think she should. You are spoiling her rotten and I have to deal with her tantrums when you’re at work.”
Daddy had put her down and told her to go wash her hands and face before dinner was ready. He had smiled at her but his voice had been strange still. When she finished washing up and shut the water off she heard muffled yelling. She had never heard Daddy raise his voice and it made her afraid. She was accustomed to her mother’s ranting though and usually could avoid it if she were careful. But this was new with Daddy and she didn’t like it. She had stood there shaking until Daddy came looking for her.
When he saw how afraid she was he kneeled in front of her and carefully hugged her to him whispering he was sorry. He asked where she hurt and she pointed to her bottom which he checked. He winced when he saw the bruises that had formed on her pale young skin. Tears came to his eyes then when he thought how hard Lisa must have smacked her to cause that kind of coloration. He crushed her to his chest again nearly squashing her saying he wouldn’t let it happen again. But Daddy couldn’t be everywhere at once and he had to go to work so he didn’t see and couldn’t stop what happened at home while he was away.
After dinner that night Aden played with Bella for a while before getting her bathed and ready for bed. He had tucked her under the covers then sat beside her on top of them. They were propped up on her pillows his arm held her next to him as he read from the nursery rhymes and stories book she held. She always made him read the same rhyme after he was done with the story. It always made her laugh when he made funny faces and silly voices to act it out. When he was through reading she would close her eyes pretending she was sleeping and he would call her a faker then tell her he loved her. She would say she loved him more and they would start the game of arguing over who loved who the most before he would say good night and kiss her. He would turn on her music box and make sure her nightlight came on when he shut the light out before leaving her room.
That night after Bella was tucked in he confronted Lisa in the living room. He hadn’t said anything more after he had found his baby girl shaking in fear in her bathroom. Aden had nearly seen red when he checked Bella’s bottom and found the bruises. He had wanted to throttle Lisa then and there but for his daughter’s sake he had held onto his control. Now she was sleeping safely in her room where she wouldn’t hear what he had to say.
He had found Lisa sitting innocently on the sofa watching a program on the television. She seemed oblivious to anything being wrong with her husband. She was about to find out differently and very quickly. He stood between her and the television to get her attention.
“You’re in the way Aden.” She didn’t even bother looking up at him merely tried to find a way to see around him. When he continued standing there she finally moved her gaze to his. The coldness in his eyes nearly made her shrink back into the sofa cushions.
“What?” she asked. She truly sounded as if she didn’t know what had him so hot under the collar. He could not believe that what she had done to their child today was forgotten that easily. How could she have lost control and beaten her own child that way then shown no remorse for what she had done? Had she even bothered to check Bella when she had calmed down again? Somehow he didn’t believe Lisa had given the baby a second thought afterwards.
“We agreed you would never touch Bella like that.” his voice was strained from trying to keep from raising it. He cut her off when she started saying she had needed the spanking. “She is only two and a half years old, Lisa. She couldn’t have possibly done anything to deserve what you did to her. She’s just a baby for God’s sake.”
He closed his eyes briefly taking a couple deep breaths to calm himself before continuing, “If you ever touch our daughter like that again, I will leave you Lisa and take her with me. Do you understand me?” He leaned down close when she hadn’t answered him and repeated, “Do you understand?” He didn’t sound angry anymore but the way he asked that question made her quake inside. She knew he was deadly serious. He wasn’t a man to make idle threats about anything. His daughter meant everything to him and he wouldn’t let anyone hurt her not even the woman that gave birth to her.
He had left her sitting there without another word and went to bed. When she had finally gone up to their room his eyes were closed apparently sleeping. Sliding under the blankets she was careful not to touch him for fear she would disturb him. Laying there in the dark sleep wouldn’t claim her and she began to think. What he said had worried her. Oh, not the part about him taking the baby if he left. No she didn’t really care about that. She didn’t want him to leave. What bothered her most was what she would do if he left. She didn’t have a job and knew she wouldn’t have anywhere to go if her family found out why Adenson had gone. They would disown her for sure.
She didn’t know what the big deal was. She had only disciplined her when she started to throw a tantrum. She had to learn that what Lisa said went without question. Aden wasn’t around during the day, he didn’t see how bratty she could be. She very nearly drove Lisa crazy with her constant need to be entertained and she was constantly hungry or thirsty. The more she drank the more she had to use the bathroom and the more she was opt to have accidents that Lisa had to clean up. She was sick to death of trying to potty train her. She was tempted some days to either strap her to her potty chair or deny her more than one cup of juice. Actually she had tried the latter once and found all the kid did was whine all the more.
Yes she thought, her animosity towards the little girl growing by the second, this was all her fault. If she hadn’t whined when Aden picked her up earlier he wouldn’t have threatened Lisa with leaving. Somehow laying there seething to herself in the dark Lisa convinced herself that she really wasn’t to blame for how she treated the girl. She began to believe that the girl was out to get her. It didn’t matter that Bella was only two and a half, in her mind the toddler was coming between her and her husband. None of it would have made sense to Aden or anyone else for that matter but it was real for Lisa.
Paranoia was fast settling in around Lisa as she lay in the dark. She imagined she could hear someone talking in the hall outside their bedroom door. She knew they were whispering about her. The more she strained to hear the voices the more obscure they became until they became hissing sounds. Ignoring them finally she squeezed her eyes shut willing sleep to overcome her. Reality slipped back into place and she told herself she was just tired.

New Chapter

Unbeknownst to Lisa, Aden had been on the phone to her doctor again informing him of her actions. The doctor had consulted her chart and decided it was time to increase her dosage again. Aden was feeling as though this were just a temporary fix anymore. The increase worked for a few months then the mood swings would start coming back and the erratic violence got worse. He was feeling dragged down by Lisa and her illness. He had to remind himself she was sick and didn’t realize what she did. But she could damn well take her medication daily!
He pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers trying to ease the hammering in his head. He had to stop by the pharmacy to get her new dose before going home tonight. He called his parents house to check whether they were still out.
His Dad answered the phone on the second ring with a “Hello.” that sounded more like yellow. He must be in a good mood for some reason Aden thought.
“Hey Dad. Just checking to see if our girls made it back yet from buying the stores out.” His dad chuckled softly, “Yeah those two shop-aholics are finally home. I think they must have bought the toy store and clothing shop out of merchandise. Our living room looks like a Barbie convention exploded in it.”
He heard his mother reprimand his father as he handed her the phone. Then his mother’s voice saying, “He’s just jealous he didn’t think of it first. Besides what’s the little sweetpea for, if not spoiling?”
“Mom, she can’t take that all home with her. Lisa would have a fit. She says I spoil her enough.”
“Adenson what in the world is going on with that woman? It’s like she doesn’t even pay attention to Bella. She didn’t have any clean clothes ready for her when I picked her up. I had to tell her to get them and then she didn’t include undergarments or anything else. Does she do anything with her daughter?”
“Mom I usually pack Bella’s bag. Lisa wouldn’t know what to put in it unless she was told.. I was really hoping Lisa would get better at this the older Bella got but it seems to be worse. She isn’t the woman I married mom. I don’t know what to do.” He covered his eyes with a hand then pushed it through his hair in frustration.
“Adenson, how did the baby get those bruises on her bottom?”
“Lisa did that yesterday. She claimed Bella threw a tantrum and she punished her for it. I told her if she ever laid a hand on my daughter like that again I would divorce her and take Bella. The sad thing is mom, I don’t think threatening her with taking Bella away mattered much to her.”
“Oh Aden aren’t you afraid to leave her alone with her? I really think you should get that nanny back. Do you know Lisa tells her that only babies cry? I’m worried Adenson.”
“I called the doctor today. He called in a different medication for her, I have to leave early to pick it up. I made her take her pill this morning. They don’t seem to be helping any. I just don’t know what to do. I don’t want to give up on her mom. I truly loved her once. Anyway, if she so much as raises her voice to Bella and I find out, Bella and I are moving out.” There was a defeated sound in his voice as if he could see what the future held for his family and it didn’t look promising.
“Well you know you’re always welcome here. We have too much empty space anyway. I just hope it doesn’t come to that. A little girl needs her mother.”
Only not that little girl and not that particular mother. She would be better off away from her mother. Rose thought these things but didn’t voice them. Her son deserved a better wife. She had loved Lisa like a daughter before they were married and even after that. She had been a different person up to the time Bella was born. Then their world seemed to start falling apart. She was sick at heart to see her son so torn and she could only imagine what Bella went through daily when he was gone.
“Thanks mom. I appreciate the offer. I’ve got to finish up some paperwork then I’m leaving the office. I should be to your house in a few hours. Love you.” His mom echoed his last words and they hung up.
He sat there a few moments collecting his thoughts before he picked the phone back up and dialed a friend of his that was a lawyer. He wasn’t going to do anything yet just find out where he would stand if and when he would have to make a move. They made small talk for a few minutes before he told his friend that it wasn’t just a social call he was making. He needed some legal advice and gave him a brief run down of the situation.
The call lasted only 15 minutes and the lawyer said he had a good case but he would need to meet with him to get full details and work out the legalities. They set a luncheon meeting up for the following week then said good bye.
He expressed the fact that he wasn’t ready to start divorce proceedings just want to talk it over and the lawyer said he understood. For some reason Aden felt bad even speaking to his friend as a legal advisor. He felt as if he were already condemning his marriage and Lisa to failure by going through with the meeting. But he had to think of the safety of his daughter first. Lisa felt lost to him but Bella could be saved. He had to do something. He had tried for almost three years now. In a few months his baby would be three years old and he didn’t want her to be hurt anymore. He didn’t want her to grow up hating him for not doing something to stop her mother.
He glanced at the silver frame sitting on his desk. It held two pictures. One was of him and Lisa just before she got pregnant. She was sitting sideways on his lap and they were both laughing into the camera. They looked so happy there. The other picture was of the three of them. It was taken in a studio. Aden was sitting holding a smiling Bella while Lisa was standing to his left. It looked as though they were holding the toddler together between them when in reality Lisa wasn’t touching either of them. She was smiling but the smile didn’t reach her eyes. They looked uninterested in the whole affair. At the time he hadn’t noticed it but now he saw the anger and hatred. Oh, most wouldn’t notice it, Lisa had a way with acting lately, but he had lived with her for several years and he knew what those eyes held. They held no amount of warmth or love for either him or his child. He had stopped thinking of Bella as their child a while back when Lisa made it clear, not in words but by her actions, that she wanted nothing to do with her.
He gave some thought to what his mother said about getting the nanny back then decided it would be best. Lisa could go and do as she pleased and not have to worry about Bella if he hired another nanny. He would be able to stop worrying all the time whether his daughter was being taken care of properly also.
He made another phone call. This time to the agency that helped him hire the first care giver. When he gave his name and request he was told the woman that had worked with Bella before was available again if he had approved of her work. He chalked it up to good luck that he wouldn’t have to instruct someone new and agreed to her rehire. She would start the following Monday. Which gave him time to explain it to Lisa and get her used to the idea again.
His heart felt a little lighter now that his daughter would have a protector while he was away. If Lisa had a problem with it then he would tell her it was either the nanny or he was leaving. He was tired of trying to reason with her and help her feel better about things. Now it was about Bella totally and to hell with Lisa.
He finished the work on his desk instructed his secretary of the few items he needed for the next day then told her to punch out when she was through. She looked at him in surprise because he hadn’t used that old joke in such a long time she thought he had forgotten it. She laughed and asked, “Who should I punch out first?”
“Who ever you see fit.” He smiled at her for the first time in months as he walked out the door. She made a speculative noise after he closed the office door. She didn’t know the details just bits and pieces but from what she could gather his wife was having a difficult time with depression and it was affecting him badly. He seemed to worry more lately. It didn’t affect his work habits. He still worked his butt off for the firm and they rewarded him nicely for it. But his easy going nature and quick wit had been gone for quite a while.
She was glad to see something had happened to ease his problems. He was a terrific guy to have for a boss. He would let her leave early anytime she needed to and if he left early he made sure she left soon after. He deserved to be happy again.

New Chapter

Krista pulled her car into the driveway right behind Adens that evening when he got home from work. He thought it was strange that she had Bella strapped into the backseat without a car seat. She never took the baby anywhere without a car seat. When she jumped out of the car and rushed to him he saw the worried expression on her face.
“What happened?” His tone was more harsh than he intended but it couldn’t be helped now.
“I, I heard her scream and went to see if something had happened and I found her arguing with herself in the living room. I asked if everything was okay and she started screaming at me that she knew what I was up to and she wouldn’t be easy to get rid of. I think she thinks I’m trying to take her place in your family.” The words came out in such a rush she had to stop and gulp in more air before continuing, “I’m not trying to take over for her sir. I’m just trying to help anyway I can. She was screaming over and over that she wouldn’t be easy to get rid of.” Krista looked ready to cry but she blinked back any tears that where there.
“Stay here with Bella. I’ll straighten this out then be back out to get her.” He patted her shoulder before walking through the front door.
Lisa was sitting on the couch calmly waiting for him. She smiled at him and stood to face him as he walked into the room. He looked angry about something.
“What’s wrong Aden?”
“Perhaps I should ask you that Lisa. What happened here today?”
A spark of something flashed in her eyes before she smiled, “I’ve had a horrible time sleeping lately. I keep having this horrible dream that wakes me and then I can’t seem to get back to sleep. On top of that today I’ve had a terrible headache. I couldn’t think straight and when she came in here I guess I kind of took it out on her. I’m so sorry for it. I didn’t mean it.”
She sounded sincere but Aden knew her acting abilities too well to be taken in by it. He pushed a hand through his hair mussing it. She reached up to smooth it but he jerked away. He wasn’t used to her touching him anymore. She hadn’t come near him in nearly two years and hadn’t voluntarily touched him in a lot longer than that. It was only natural that he was suspicious of her touch now.
“What kind of dreams Lisa?”
“Mostly whispering voices that tell me bad things that scare me. I’ve wanted to tell you about it for weeks now but I didn’t know how. I can’t remember why you moved out of our room Aden. I feel so lost without you there. I know the voice would go away if you were there when I woke up from the dream.”
How desperately he wished she had come to him like this months ago when he would have done anything in the world to get them through this. Now he didn’t have the interest in making it work. He had been living in a dream the last few weeks thinking he would be content living like this. Their family life was a joke. He couldn’t let her think he was willing to take what ever she was willing to give him. He wanted it all and knew she wasn’t capable of that.
“Lisa why are you telling me this now? Why not years ago? Hell even months ago it might have worked. Why now?” He needed to understand what she was offering.
“I’ve been in such a drugged stupor with the different medications I’ve been on that I didn’t know which way was up. Most of the time I don’t know what’s going on around me. Lately though things have been becoming clearer. I need you.” She touched his face with her finger tips. He closed his eyes briefly but felt nothing from her touch.
“It’s a little too late for that Lisa.”
“No it isn’t.” She insisted desperation entering her voice. “I know you love me. We just need to get back to that.” She moved closer to him holding his face in her hands not noticing that he wasn’t returning her caresses. “I would like for us to start sleeping together again.”
She smoothed her thumb over his lower lip before he reached up and took her hands from his face, “I’m not interested in it anymore Lisa. Sorry.”
She looked ready to crumble before him. The voice laughed inside her head. I told you. She suddenly couldn’t breath, “They told me. I didn’t believe it though.” She ran from the room before he could ask who.
He went out side to get Bella and talk to Krista. Neither of them notice the face in the second floor window as they began speaking. He apologized for his wife’s behavior as he unbuckled a sleeping Bella. She woke up when he lifted her from the car.
“Daddy!” she said gleefully. He nuzzled her cheek, “Hey pip squeak. Who’s my soon to be birthday girl?” He asked as he tickled under her chin.
Giggling she gasped “Me!”
He put her down and she ran to the house. He watched her go inside and turned back to Krista finishing their conversation. He was only out there with her for a few minutes when he heard a scream from the house. They both ran into the house to see what had happened.
The basement door was wide open and the gate was missing. Lisa was standing at the foot of the stairs leading to the second floor. He looked at her then at the basement door. He didn’t want to look but knew he had to. He took a deep breath then took the final step to the door.
“Oh dear God.” he whispered as he rushed down the stairs. He nearly fell half way down in his haste to get down them. Bella lay motionless at the bottom. She was laying on her back, one arm twisted behind her a leg bent at an odd angle. There was blood seeping from a gash on her temple. Tears were running down his face before he even touched her. He bent to pick her limp form from the cold concrete floor but remembered at the last minute he shouldn’t move her.
He screamed for someone to dial 911 as he sank to the floor beside her. Krista had the cordless in her hand already talking to someone on the other end as she rushed down the steep stairs. When she got to the bottom of the stairs and saw the baby laying there so still she was afraid it was too late for help. The emergency worker at 911 said someone was on the way and began asking questions that would help the E.M.T.’s administer emergency care faster when they got there.
When she asked if Bella was breathing Krista was about to say no when she caught the baby’s chest move in a shallow breath. Krista nearly cried in relief then but knew she had to stay calm for Mr. Vaughn. He was kneeling over the still body of his daughter calling her name softly alternately with begging God to not take her from him.
They heard the ambulance’s siren coming down the street seconds before the emt’s rushed down the stairs. They began working on her within seconds of arriving. Aden could only watch helplessly from a place out of their way. Krista stood beside him praying with him she would be okay.
No one noticed the mother of the child standing at the top of the stairs a sick look on her face. She was struggling with herself as her child struggled to stay alive.
Krista drove her car to the hospital behind the ambulance. The paramedics had let Aden ride in the back of the rig beside his daughter. They weren’t sure if the little girl would even make it to the hospital. The father sat beside her begging her to open her eyes. He was holding her uninjured hand in his stroking it.
They continued to work on her all the way to the hospital. She quit breathing several times in the short 15 minutes it took to get there. Her temple was beginning to swell frighteningly and they were afraid she would have pressure on her brain from it. When they pulled into the emergency ambulance lane they couldn’t take her in right away because she stopped breathing again and convulsing. They tried to get her breathing again but all attempts failed and she died before they could do anything else.
It was the most horrible thing anyone was forced to do telling someone their loved one was gone especially when it was a child. A paramedic that was standing over Bella looked at the father to express his condolence. He knew it would mean nothing compared to his pain. But he had to convey his sorrow for not being able to help his daughter. Aden was kneeling beside her his brow pressed to her cheek groaning. He held her limp hand in one of his and wrapped his other arm around her pulling her closer to him. He shook his head back and forth moaning oh no several times a lump in his throat threatening to choke him making him sound hoarse.
“I’m sorry sir..” The paramedics voice trailed off not knowing what to say. He never really had to give this speech. It was usually the doctors job to talk with family members. It was obvious what had happened but he still felt he should say or do something to help this man.
The emt’s began cleaning up the rig to let the father have a few minutes before they had to remove the body. The hospital had known their eta and a doctor came running to the rear of the rig. The driver stepped out to catch him before he could bang on the rear doors.
“She’s gone doc. We’re just giving the father a few minutes with her first. He’s not taking it real well.” The driver frowned at his own words. No one ever took this kind of news well.
Krista parked her car in the emergency parking lot as close to the ambulance as she could get. She jumped out from behind the wheel running toward the ambulance. She slowed when she saw the emt and a doctor just standing at the back talking in hushed voices. A hand flew to cover her mouth as a cry escaped her throat. They shouldn’t be just standing there like that. The doctor happened to glance up and see the woman running at them.
“Is that the mother?” He nodded his head in her direction.
“No. But she made the call to 911.” He walked forward to meet her the last few feet. “I’m sorry ma’am.” he began when she stopped in front of him.
“No.” she began shaking her head.
He walked back to the rear doors and slowly began opening them. Aden was still leaning over his little girl holding her in his arms when the doors were finally open. When Krista saw him like that she knew it was true. Bella was gone.
“Mr. Vaughn?” she called to him. He looked slowly in her direction, trying unsuccessfully to hold back his tears. Krista’s tears came then when she saw the ragged look on her employers face.
New Chapter

They were calling it a tragic accident at first. Aden was grateful that Krista had followed them to the hospital. She had called his parents and they came running into the waiting room asking what had happened. Aden was trying to get control and brokenly started to fill them in. His voice broke and he couldn’t continue and he placed his face in his hands sitting heavily in a chair. His mom sat quickly next to him wrapping her arm around her son’s shoulder.
Krista softly spoke telling them everything they knew about what had happened. She felt so sad to be telling these nice people their granddaughter was gone. Soft sounds of crying filled the room. His mother asked how this could happen and Aden was saying he didn’t know when two uniformed police officers entered the room looking for someone.
There was a moment of confusion when they asked if anyone by the name of Aden Vaughn was in the room and he stood up saying that was him. His father stepped forward in front of Aden to address the officer asking what this was about. The officer nodded stiffly at Aden’s father saying they needed to speak with him.
Aden’s mind wasn’t working beyond the point where his daughter was dead and he didn’t know what he was going to do without her. Confusion was evident on his ravaged face when he looked at the officer.
He vaguely heard his mother’s voice whispering oh no oh god no as the officers stepped closer to him. He couldn’t understand what they would need to speak with him about or how they happened to be there. Who had called them? His dad was speaking again wanting to know what they needed to speak to his son about. In a dream he heard them say it concerned his daughter’s accident. His dad was trying to protect him from something but he didn’t know what. The taller officer stepped around his father and addressed Aden, “Sir we need you to answer a few questions about the accident.”
Aden nodded looking from the tall officer to the heavier set man behind him. He didn’t know what they needed to investigate, it was an accident. Wasn’t it? Didn’t he see Lisa at the bottom of the stairs leading to the second floor? She couldn’t have been close enough to cause Bella to fall. Could she? Surely he was reading too much into this.
His parents and Krista started to leave the room to give them some privacy when the heavier officer stopped Krista. “Are you the mother?” When Krista shook her head no he looked at his partner then back at her. “Then you are?”
“This is Bella’s nanny. Was her nanny.” he corrected.
“Was she at the scene?” When they both nodded he indicated that she should stay also. The officer looked around the room then asked where Mrs. Vaughn was. That was the first time Aden had noticed that Lisa wasn’t here. He couldn’t believe that she wasn’t here. But he didn’t really care at this point. He merely shrugged his shoulders.
2. He’s sitting outside at a table in a café reading a newspaper. Lorna walks toward his table on her way out of the café. As she nears his table a feeling of dread overcomes her. It settles in the pit of her stomach like a cold heavy stone that with each step closer to him causes her stomach to clench in worried tension. She knows what this feeling is. Knows what it means and she glances around to find it’s source.
Her gaze settles on the man sitting alone at an outdoor table. He appears to be quietly reading a newspaper. Lorna knows he’s doing anything but that right now. Inside he is raging. Battling a war with himself that he’ll never win on his own. She feels his despair as if it were her own. It cloaks her for a few moments before she is able to suppress it. His sense of loss and pain nearly break her heart. Concentrating on him alone she listens to what is inside him.
He is missing someone terribly and blames himself for the loss. No, it’s not just one person that has been taken from him but two. There is anger there inside him also. It’s aimed at himself and another. Lorna stands there as if in a trance staring at the troubled man. Outwardly he didn’t seem to have any other care than the print before him but inwardly he was a mess.
She could sense things about people. More than most would like. She could tell when a person was lying. Something deep inside her would set up an alarm when something didn’t sound quite right to her. She didn’t know how it worked, it just did. It came in pretty handy in her line of work. She was a guidance counselor at a local high school. Sometimes the kids would try to pull one over on her to get out of class and she would be able to tell if there was a true problem or just wanting to skip.
The man sitting five feet from her was in definite trouble emotionally if he didn’t get help soon. He was trying to make it though his loss alone. One minute he believed he would be able to live through this pain, the next he didn’t know how he could possibly go on living. He didn’t want to continue living with the pain in his heart.
He looked rather young, she would guess in his early thirties or so. Despite the intense feelings raging inside, the only indication was the slight furrowing of his dark brows. Anyone looking at him would think something in the paper he was reading had caused the irritated look. Lorna knew differently. He was handsome in an intense way. His face was clean shaven except for the short angled sideburns clipped close at his ears.
She couldn’t stop herself from walking over to him and lightly laying her hand on his arm. He looked up at her a startled look in his eyes. Before he could speak she said softly, “I’m sorry about your loss.”
He looked down at the slim fingers wrapped earnestly a few inches below his elbow before looking back into sea green eyes. He didn’t recognize her and wondered how she could possibly know anything about his “loss”. “What do you know about it?” His voice was rough as though he had a sore throat. She knew it was from the pain he held inside that tightened his throat.
“I don’t know anything about it.” she said truthfully, “but I know you’re hurting inside and you need some help before it drowns you.”
“Like you said you don’t know anything about it.” and he pulled his arm from her grasp. He threw some money on the table as he rose to leave. He didn’t know who she was and didn’t care to find out. There were too many things wrong in his life right now he didn’t know where to start to begin fixing it.
He glanced down at his watch before saying in a short tone, “Excuse me.” in way of a parting. Unfortunately she didn’t take the hint but began walking beside him matching her gate to his. Which wasn’t all that easy for her when you took into account his height. He must have been several inches over six feet tall. She had to take twice the steps to keep up with him. But she managed to do so without looking as if she were desperately running to walk with him.
“If you would like to talk with someone to help you through this, I could give you a number of a counselor. He’s a friend of mine and very good with issues of loss. Or if the thought of counseling doesn’t appeal, there’s a group that meets every week on Wednesdays at the United Church on Toby Street. The meetings start at 6:30 p.m.” She said all of that in a rush knowing he didn’t want to listen to her but hoping it would stick with him anyway.
He looked down at her with a tired expression on his face. He had hoped she would go away if he ignored her but so far he wasn’t having any luck with it so he decided to be direct. “Look, Miss?” He raised his hand waving it distractedly, “Never mind. I appreciate the concern, really I do but you don’t know me. You don’t know what I’m going through. Now I really have to go.” With that he upped his pace enough that she would have had to either run to match it or give up and let him go. She let him go but not before she had slipped a small card into his jacket pocket. Printed on the card was the name of the group, Grief Management with the church’s address under it. It also had a toll free number on the bottom where someone could be reached at anytime of the day or night.
She watched him walk away, his back ramrod straight. She hoped he wouldn’t be too upset with her for slipping it into his pocket when he wasn’t paying attention. He had been so intent on getting away from her. He had been uncomfortable in her presence as most people often were at first. His disquiet hadn’t come from being caught in her knowing gaze which was the case normally, his came from the inability to speak of the thing that caused him such pain. She knew he kept these feelings to himself. That was the reason he couldn’t get past whatever had happened to make him feel this way.
He didn’t know how she pinned him like that. He thought he was finally beginning to cover his feelings. At least his parents had stopped looking so concerned every time he walked into the room. It had been a year since Lisa had been convicted and sentenced. Even though he knew she was sick he still couldn’t stand to hear her name mentioned. He didn’t visit her. He couldn’t bring himself to see her.
He was sure he wouldn’t be able to get over this. He had seen a shrink for about six months but realized he wasn’t getting anywhere and he stopped going. Everyone said it would take time but he would be able to move on. He wondered if any of the people that told him that had lost children. He was sure they hadn’t or they wouldn’t be so quick to say that. They would know better. They would know you never got over losing a child.
He had taken a leave of absence from work for a while after he buried Bella. After a few weeks he couldn’t stand having nothing but time to sit and think what he could have done to prevent losing her. He blamed himself every minute of the day when he was awake and hardly slept but when he did he had terrible dreams. In them he watched her fall down the stairs as she called for him to help her. He would then be in the ambulance again with her glazed eyes open accusing him, blaming him. He would wake shaking and afraid.
He threw himself into his work again. Believing if he worked every moment he was awake he wouldn’t have any extra time to think of anything else. But the dreams always found him and he would relive it every night. The shrink had prescribed a sleeping pill for him when he told him about them. He had used them for a week or so then tossed them. They made him groggy and wanting to sleep more than he should. He didn’t like feeling out of control he wasn’t the kind of person to close his eyes and hope it would go away. He preferred to deal with it head on. His problem with this was he didn’t know how to deal with it. He didn’t know where to start.
He guessed becoming a workaholic wasn’t the way to work through this but for him it was doing something.
He was sitting on a bar stool just downing a shot and chasing it with a beer when a small group of people walked in the door to his left. He glanced up and saw a tall man with two redheads walk in. He vaguely thought some men... but didn’t finish the thought. The one redhead looked at him but he turned back to his beer. He was seriously in a drinking mood.
He just downed his second shot and was raising his beer to his lips when one of the redheads stepped beside him.
“Hello.” she said in a soft voice.
“I don’t need any company.” he muttered without looking at her.
“Are you here alone?” When he didn’t answer she tried again, “Are you waiting for someone?”
He finally realized she wasn’t going to be put off easily so he turned to look at her that’s when he recognized her from the street. “What are you? Mother Theresa? You trying to save the world?”
“No, I’m not trying to save the world. And by no means am I comparable to a saint. Actually, I’m an exotic dancer.” Her eyes were wide at her own lie. What had possessed her to say that? Maybe the smug look on his face that said he was looking at a do gooder.
For all of about half a second surprise registered in his eyes then he shrugged and turned back to his beer. She gave it a full two minutes before asking, “How are you doing?”
He ignored her question and motioned for the bartender to set him up another round. He downed the shot and took a gulp of the beer. He glanced down at her then, “Oh, still here?”
The large man walked up beside her and put an arm around her waist, “Hey, Gorgeous, we ordered your drink. You coming back to the table?”
She smiled up at him but before she could answer the drunk on the barstool that she was trying to get through to said, “Yeah, Gorgeous, go back to the table.”
Ian looked sharply at the man being rude to his sister-in-law. He would have put him in his place but Lorna stopped him. She went with Ian back to their table and tried to forget about the man sitting at the bar. He needed her. He just didn’t want to admit it. But soon he would.
They ate around conversation and laughter. When they were leaving she noticed that he was still sitting there on his barstool. She was surprised that he was still upright by now. She stopped on the way out the door to speak with the bartender. She slipped him a 20 and thanked him.