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Okay, long story time.
I went to my FIRST EVER Gay Pride Parade last Saturday. And it. Was. AWESOME!!!
But I wish I could remember it only as that. Instead, I've got these nagging, annoying feelings. Because... Here goes.

Back up. It is FRIDAY night. My ex-boyfriend Michael calls me and asks if I want to hang out. And I figure, sure, why not? I mean, I'm cool with him, and it had been quite a while since I'd seen him. I missed hanging out with him. So I'm hanging out with him and one of my besties, and since she has to be home the earliest, I drop her off first. As I'm on my way to drop Michael off at his home, he says that there's something he's been thinking about, but that it's awkward. I tell him to spill it. And, he opened his big, dumb-assed mouth, and says this: "I regret breaking up with you." Well, I pretty much don't know how to react to that. I mean, I guess I'm kinda flattered, but... Wow. Honestly, I had actually thought about asking him how he felt about 'make-out buddies' or 'friends with benefits,' because, honestly, I missed that part... But not actually BEING with him, in that way. So we have some awkward conversation, and talk about some things... And at the end of the night, nothing's changed. He has said that he still doesn't want to date someone in our area, because he might be moving this summer. Big deal. Whatever.

Now, move forward one day, to Saturday, Pride Fest Day. Michael - who is bisexual (well, we ALL know he's gay, but he claims to be bi) - had asked me if I could give him a ride the night before. I was already planning on taking my gay best friend Jon, and my close friend Kristin. Let me intervene here and, just for the sake of irony at the end of the story, say that Michael was my FIRST EVER KISS, and Kristin was my FIRST EVER GIRL KISS (she and Jon were demonstrating to me that it isn't weird to kiss people who are just friends o//o). Continuing on. Anyway, it is Saturday. Jon and Michael have been friends since before I ever met... Either of them. Jon and Kristin met each other through me. Now, Michael and Kristin... Had never met before today. So they're pretty awkward and quiet in the backseat the whole way, not knowing each other.
Pride Fest, to sum it up, was ******** awesome on every level of the scale of awesomeness.
BUT. Here's where things go bad: The After-Party.
My mom owns this house that we call Paper Street. It's an old, abandoned house that we lived in when my dad was still alive, but never got around to selling it when we moved into my grandparents' house; it's my little home-thirty-minutes-away-from-home. My sister used it when she wanted to have sex or smoke cigars; about six people have lost their virginities in it. My friends and I use it when we want to have co-ed sleepovers, or for late nights when we don't want to disturb sleeping parents. I've slept over there a total of three times: The first time, with Jon. The second time, with Jon, Kristin, and Jon's best friend Eric. The third time... Was the night of Pride Fest, with Jon, Kristin, and Michael.

I fell asleep at about 2 am, because I was REALLY tired... It was actually just a weekend for me, because I was taking summer school gym, and it took a lot out of me. Jon is an insomniac - literally - but he was bored once I fell asleep, so he fell asleep next to me. I woke up, at 4 am, and Michael and Kristin were still awake, talking. I immediately knew what was going on, but originally thought not to jump to conclusions. We woke up the next day, and simply sat around for a long time, not getting out of our blankets. While I was trying to make Jon get up, I glanced over, and... Why, that isn't Michael and Kristin making out, is it? My first kiss and my first girl kiss? Who have known each other for less than twenty-four hours? In MY house, on MY time, at MY expenses? In front of my VERY own EYES? Couldn't be.
According to Jon, they were holding hands while we were leaving. Okay... Michael never even held MY hand while we were DATING.
And as it turns out, I was correct. They were making out. A DAY after he tells me he regrets breaking up with me, and tells me to my face that he doesn't want to be in a relationship, he's making out with one of my closest friends.

I have never been this mad at someone in my entire LIFE. I have decided right here and now that I will never talk to Michael again. And Kristin, I have told her that I need some time before I can face her again, I'm so, steaming mad. I really, REALLY try my hardest not to use the H-word, and the last time I said I hated someone was on Thanksgiving, when I met my sister's fiancee for the first time, and he was making me uncomfortable and causing a LOT of familial trouble for EVERYONE... But I am just itching to use that word for Michael. And I have self-control.


I've never felt more betrayed in all of my existence... She knew he was my ex, and after what he said? She didn't know about that part, but ooh, man... I can't believe he'd say something like that to me.

So anyone have any insight to this? I really don't know what to do. I've already bitched out Kristin, she has told me she understands me needing time, we have clarified and reached an agreement that this does NOT make us no longer friends, just that we're going through a rough patch, and she and Michael are interested in each other, just don't know if he's moving or not. But I just don't know how to ever face her and be her friend again, and I don't even know if Michael knows that I'm mad at him. I don't ever want to talk to him again... But I'm just waiting for him to call so that I can give him an ear full and just b***h my heart out.

Questions? Commentary? Anyone? Am I overreacting? Should I feel this betrayed? Used? Mooched from? I just don't even know how to take this...

Understandable. I know where you're coming from... It sucks. I feel so cheated. ._.
Actually, seven days after he broke up with me, he got together with another girl. Now, this girl is bisexual, and she's in orchestra. And I was like... He just DUMPED a bisexual orchestra girl!!! He was with me for thirteen days, and he was with this girl for four months (EXACTLY - he broke up with her on their anniversary).
But I didn't mind it. I cooled myself off, and I didn't say anything. Because she was my friend, but it didn't have anything to do with me. They already knew each other when we were going out, it's not like I set them up like with Kristin.
This is just a whole new level of absurdity.

Buuut... I am so sick of being mad, although I still am. I was talking to a friend - a mutual friend of mine and Kristin's - and he was nice and helpful about it. And I think that I want to see her again, and I told him so, but that I want him to be there. Kristin actually had a crush on this guy for a looong time, and he suggested that to get back at her, I should act like I'm dating him. o_o But I said no. But he said he'll be there, and that will make me happy. I'm probably gonna give Kristin the stuffed lamb that Michael bought me, knowing that sheep-like animals are my favorite animals. I don't want to look at it anymore, so she can have it.

You're the first person to suggest that I not cut myself off from Michael. o_o Have you ever heard the saying 'fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me'? Well... This is 'screw me once, shame on you, screw me twice, shame on me.' All he ever did was use me, while we were dating. And for some reason, I decided to let him back into my good graces, so I think I'm done giving him chances. sweatdrop But thank you for the insight... I actually think I might do that. I don't think my ignoring him has really affected him, but I'm actually kind of offended by his not taking any initiative. I'll never get over it, and I'm actually kind of glad that he IS moving, and I'm never going to let him back into my life... But I really, REALLY do want to see his view on the whole thing. Maybe I'll call him, and tell him he's got five minutes to sum up everything that went down in his head between Friday night and Saturday afternoon. Maybe it'll at least be closure for me? I dunno...

Um, no, I wish, actually... =P I do not live in New York, sadly... The Pride Fest I went to was in Houston.