Rev.Matt
Do not use coals that have gotten wet at any point.
I lit the barbecue last night on the balcony (I live on the 6th floor) using previously wet coals and the amount of smoke was phenomenal. We put it out sharpish, but not before the living room was filled with acrid smoke and some concerned citizen had called 999. Four fire engines turned up and my other half had to explain the situation to several irate firefighters.
We got fish and chips.
Could have been worse. I'm minded of the memorable barbecue where my stepdad (a truly idiotic individual) overcame the problem of wet coals with judicious application of petrol.
He decided to try to err on the side of an over-liberal distribution of the fuel in order to ensure that the fire caught.
It caught all right. Christ, did it catch. A "whoomph" like a very very large man clearing his throat, a rolling ball of flame rising, and a frazzled stepdad running about with the back of his jacket on fire while the owner of the garden chased after him shouting "Stay away from the fences, they've just been creosoted!".
As it turned out, he was relatively unharmed (apart from a slightly alarming expression for the next several weeks due to the disconcerting lack of eyebrows), so I didn't feel guilty about collapsing into hysterical giggles (I hasten to add, this giggling was after he'd been put out - it was stunned silence all round while he was actually doing the Homer Simpson style scurrying about trailing smoke).
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