Welcome to Gaia! ::

I sit alone in my room late at night and remember what it was like when my father was revealed to me. I have always known him, and have spent my weekends with him. It was not until I was about 12, however, that I got to know him. My mother always told me the story of how I was born and she always told me what happened after that. I don't know if what she had said to me was good or bad. I know she meant good, but it was probably bad.

My parents met when my mom was 18 or 19 and my dad was old. He was back from California working at a gas station. My mother had no birth mother and an evil step-mother and loved my dad to make her parents mad. She was successful the day she told them she was pregnant. They made her get married and that was when everything bad began happening to me, and I was not even born.

Soon after my parents got married, he started hit her, soon after that she got a divorce and moved in with his step-family. Her family would not allow her and her infant to move in with them. They would eventually shun her and I to the point when at 20, she had had enough and I was long out of their lives.

I remember being 12, sitting in my bed with my little kitty wanting to kill myself because my mother told me again what my dad had done to her. I felt that if he was that bad of a man, and I was starting to act like he did, I did not deserve to live anymore. I did not want to hurt anyone like he hurt my mother.

Now, at 20, I know my dad better than when I was 12. I know how much it hurt my dad that I knew he had hit my mom. I know that he never hit me and never would. I know that he loves me and wishes he had never hit her. I know my dad now. I know me now. I know that I have to keep my anger away and to keep myself from being bad. I also know, I do not need my mother's family. I do not need the ones who sent my mother and her infant away. They did not want me and I will never want them.

This story was so emotional and personal, to the point where it really shows an important part of who you are. It shows a very strong influencing factor in your development as a person. Happy or sad, nice or mean, what you've provided for us in that post is a little piece of yourself gaia immortalized.