Welcome to Gaia! ::

This is a long story so I apologized in advanced. In my introduction, I said I couldn’t claim I was, or was not a psychic vampire. And now I am going to explain why.

My family has a history of being psychics. My mom, grandfather, grandmother, great grandmother ect. So its not surprising that I inherited some abilities. But the nature of my abilities changed. and in my opinion not in a good way. Most of my family are telepathic, telekinetic, and clairvoyant. I have some of those, but something else has came with them.

When I was about three, my father left, Its not an important factor but its necessary to be known., cause it is part of what happened to me. Other than that my life was peachy. Till about age seven. My mother had had many boyfriends in the past through this time period but man she must have been ill when she picked this guy. This is were everything in my life changed.

This man managed to rip my mind apart, to the point where I had a choose. I could die, commit suicide and considering I am talking to you now I obviously didn’t choose that one. Or live, in trade for going into a shell of types.

And as it would seem when I choose the shell my psychic powers evolved. What happened was I gave up my emotions. I couldn’t take the abuse anymore, and I had no way out. So my only route was to give up the things causing the damage. And I did.

There is a price to be paid for doing something like this, your emotions simple cant be pushed away. After I did this everything was good once more for about five years. Till after my mom finally divorced the guy. And the shell began to crack.

This is the part of the story where I started to notice what I was doing to people around me. I first noticed it from a girl in one of my class, then my family, friends, and even people I didn’t even know. I was stealing their thoughts and emotions away from them.

I wish I could say that I had control, but I did not. I used this power to manipulate those around me. The shell just cracked and I was the equivalent of some captain planet villain or something. People were just pawns to me. And I used them. I took, feed, and manipulated everybody I came in contact with, and at this time I was in a high school. It was not pretty.

And then a rival showed up. Another like me, but not the same. I don’t know who it was, but it’s a good thing they showed up when they did, because my power evolved again. Before this time, I could only absorb emotional energy use it to control people. But then I learned how to exert it to. I could send my own energy into others. Instead of just suggest, I could force.

We come to the Junior year of high school. For the past two years me and this rival went at it. Implanting ideas, futures, beliefs, ect into people, and tearing down the others creations. Then the third factor entered in. A friendship, and this is were I started to believe what I was doing was wrong and truly regained some of my emotions. Because of this person, and a few others, I was able to finally break free of my very destructive path. It all came to a bulk head when I crashed my car senior year. After than I devoted myself to cleaning up the horrible mess I made.

After graduation, I went to college and even though I changed, my ability still remains, when I look into somebody’s eyes they are instantly connected to me. And I cant control this. The eye thing isn’t even necessary anymore. Being around me from a certain distance and time now makes it so people will connect to me. And because of this, I did the only thing I could do. I went into isolation. Which brings us up to now. Its been about a year and a half since I chose this, and im about ready to reemerge from my own self imposed isolation. Lets hope I have enough control now.

This is good for a start. A short summery of my life that leads to what I am now. Not a vampire, but in a way , I am one.

So now I give the floor to you the reader. Questions, comments, or even your own story.

Also just a note, this is a first draft so if i was not clear, sorry, ill try to answer any questions if i can.

~♥~

So only by looking at you, you could easily control me? that is if I saw you face to face, but what if I saw you by webcam...

Yup, I know what you've gone through.

I was an EXTREMELY sensitive child. I could move small objects, talk to spirits, and my intuition was incredible. But, over the years, that sensitivity became the rope I hanged myself with. I couldn't handle things anymore, so I built this very strong wall around me and lost most of my emotions. People could sit there and kick me and I would just look at them. I was never interested in stealing other's energies though. I just wanted everyone else to go away.

Some time later, in my college years, I met a psychic vampire. She would get seriously emotionally ill if she wasn't around someone constantly, but her personality pushed everyone away. Hah hah... that should have been the first indicator... that everyone else ran for their lives! But, I stood by her as she completely drained everything I had... even the energy that I made my walls with.

By the time she was done with me, I was a wreck. All of these strange empathic energies rushed into me. I started to feel sick when someone was mad or upset (even if it wasn't directed toward me). I could see energy. But, it was just too much at once and I was on the verge of collapsing... even suicidal.

I consulted the tarot cards and a close Witch friend who both advised me to move to the mountains. So, I did. For a year, I gave up my car, computer, bed... everything. I just wanted to distance myself away from the energy and the pain. My intuition drew me to a Shaman who has become my best friend/family up here. He's much older than me, but has taught me SO MUCH! I can't steal his energy because he's got such strong spiritual barriers up. But, I have learned from him that the act of giving restores your energy. You open up a source of energy that you didn't know you had.

So, I'm spending my time trying to give back to the community and breaking down any barriers that I may have made over the years.

Slowly, I let these empathic feelings seep through so I don't become overwhelmed. My Buddhist studies have helped me to find a 'center'. So, even if I'm pelted by emotions, I can look at those emotions externally and not let them hurt me like they used to.

If I ever have children though, I'm going to make sure I pay attention to them to see if they have the same sensitivities that I had. I don't want them to go through what I had to go through and hate the world.

Good lord, don't get me started on how to sever connections. Yes it is possible, but to do it safely is another thing entirely. I have the unnatural ability to form strong bonds quickly, so i have to take care in disconnecting them. Though i learned the techniques to late. So im stuck with some of them. But thats looking on the dark side.

I like these connection, even if some of the people don't know they exist. I would try to explain it to them, but that will just make me look even more crazy than i already do.

I noticed a pattern. It seems that those with abilities such as our *being people in this guild* seem to attract others around them with similar abilities. Any theories on why? Also, how often do you encounter such people?

My guess is that we get attracted by seeing what they have been through at some degree, which if the same as what we went through, may have both been because of the abilities we have/had and so we get attracted by people with similar aspects, ...I don't think it's a very good guess though. Sadly only two people, but they don't have abilities, just spirits in their house and stuff and one I try and stray away from since...lets just say we wouldn't be very good friends, sadly none of my friends have physic abilities, well that is in real life. Here I have an awsome friend who is a clairavoyant, but sadly physic_pandas and I don't live close by. gonk stupid distance.