"You know bud, this wouldn't been nearly as bad had you not spoken to me in such a way. Well, before you start screaming, you should know one thing: this was all of YOUR fault. I'm only balancing the chaos with perfect order."

The trees sway with an easy calm as I drive the nails into his flesh to crucify his body upon on of the ancient redwoods. He screams a blood-boiling yell that could wake the dead, but that won't be necessary....he will be joining them. I drive pin his arms to the tree at the wrist, as it should be done, and then the heels of his feet. Four limbs, four nails, one bucket of honey, a black knife, a needle, some thread and my bare hands....good enough for any sadist to enjoy.

"So, you have any more s**t to drool out of your mouth before I sew it shut ******** YOU! I hope you go to Hell for this you sick ******** I sigh and smile, I tell him in a calm and gentle voice, "Heh, well you know you will be there much longer than I, and besides, I already know where I'm going, and mine is a bit more chilly than your's....plus, I'm just going there to regroup. So, if that is all, let's get to it..."

As I sew his mouth shut, he tries to bite me, but I catch his upper lip and draw my needle down through it then catch the lower lip and pierce that one as well. On and on I go...up and down, through and through. He finally starts to lose his strength as he is only hurting himself.

"Well, just to let you know friend, you will be dying of, perhaps, a few things. One, starvation. Two, dehydration. Three, blood loss. Four, infection. Five...well, I could just stab the s**t out of you and be done with it, but that wouldn't be fun...never mind me. There is no five d**k! And one other thing, you won't be needing these!"

I slice off his ears and jab the blade into his eyes, then cut his arms and legs a couple of times.

"Well, it was a great pleasure meeting you! I hope someone finds you one day after you are dead and knows what kind of d**k you had to be to get treated like this. Peace out brother! And remember...HELL AWAITS YOU! GIVE MY REGARDS TO MY BIG BABY NATAS!!"