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I laughed for hours when Buffy told Giles. "You've got butt face....I mean, you look like you're going to say but."

I have more Quotes, a whole bunch.


Dawn: My advice to you is do exactly what everyone else does, all the time.
Willow: Got it.
Dawn: Do what everyone else does, wear what everyone else wears, say what everyone else says.
Willow: Okay.
Dawn: People may say something to you you don't understand, just don't be afraid to keep your mouth shut and pretend like you know what they're saying.
Willow: You know, Dawn, I've been to college before.
Dawn: People may say something like, "My protein window closes in an hour." Just... nod and smile. "Mm-hmm." Turns out it has something to do with fitness.

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Giles: Gah!
Xander: Touch him!
Dawn: I feel him! I feel him!
Xander: Me too.
Andrew: Me too!
Giles: Yes. Good. We all feel each other. Including those of us who don't really know each other well enough to take such liberties. I assume there's a perfectly reasonable and not-at-all insane explanation coming, yes?
Anya: We thought you might be non-corporeal evil.

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Willow: It's a text message. Oh, it's from Xander. It's one of our signals.
Amanda: Signals?
Willow: Yeah, the system we set up a while back. Like codes. Uh, this one's either "I just got lucky, don't call me for a while" or "my date's a demon who's trying to kill me."
Kennedy: You don't remember which?
Willow: It was a long time ago.
Dawn: Well, if we play the percentages...
Giles: Something's eating Xander's head.
Anya: Say, that's gratifying.

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Willow: I could whip up a jaunty self-cleaning incantation. It'll be like Fantasia.
Giles: And we all know how splendidly that turned out for Mickey.
Willow: I think I'm a little more adept than a cartoon mouse.
Tara Maclay: And you have more fingers, which is good 'cause then there's no need to wear those big white gloves to over-compensate.

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Willow: We did a whole duet about dish washing. There was an entire verse about the couscous.

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Willow: What's the matter, Amy? You lonely? We need to get you a nice companion rat that you can love, play with and grow attached to, until one day they leave you for no good reason. Won't that be fun?

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Willow: Magic wasn't all great. I won't miss the nosebleeds and the headaches and stuff.
Buffy: There you go.
Willow: Or keeping stinky yak cheese in my bra. Don't ask.

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Willow: Ok, magic time. Are you ready to... heh, heh... kill me?
Kennedy: Starting to be.
Willow: Good... fun.

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Anya: Captain Logic is not steering this tugboat.

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Buffy: Oh no... Ow! Mommy, this mortal wound is all... itchy. You pulled a nice trick. You came pretty close to smacking me down. What more do you want?
Buffy: [through gritted teeth] I want you...
[sits up]
Buffy: to get out of my face.
[stands]

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Spike: I can feel it, Buffy.
Buffy: What?
Spike: My soul. It's really there. Kind of stings.

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Willow: Kali, Hera, Kronos, Tonic... Air like nectar, thick as onyx... Cassiel by your second star...
Glory: Uhh. It's the lover.
[walks forward]
Glory: That's so cute.
Willow: Hold mine victim as in tar.
[the air around Glory shimmers and she suddenly cannot move forward. She looks at Willow in surprise]
Willow: I... owe... you... pain!

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Drusilla: You sing the sweetest little song. Won't you sing for me, hmm? Don't you love me anymore? Come on. I'll pout if you don't sing. I'll give you a seed if you sing.
[the image pulls back to Drusilla talking to a little canary lying dead in a birdcage]
Spike: The bird's dead, Dru. You left it in it's cage, and you didn't feed it, and now it's all dead, just like the last one.
[Drusilla cowers and whines]

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[Primeval - when Spike finds Riley in Adam's cave]
Spike: Slightly stiffer than usual.
[clicks his fingers in Riley's face, with no response]
Spike: Subtle, but I like it.
[pokes Riley in the chest, still no response]
Spike: What's with him?
Adam: I activated his chip.
Spike: Oh. So it's chips all around, is it? Someone must've bought the party pack.

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Glory: Hey! Get your hands off my holy man!

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Xander: Look, Anya, I know things may get ugly here at Wickapalooza and if things really get bad I was just wondering...
Anya: Let me guess, you'll propose?
Xander: I want to know if you're gonna turn on me. If you're gonna use this little shindig as some kind of revenge.
Anya: There is nothing on this Earth which would give me greater satisfaction than to reap bloody vengeance upon you, Xander Harris. But I can't. Not officially. Not magically. So, smile, it's your lucky day. You left me at the altar and got away with it. I can't hurt you.
Xander: Yeah, right. Like seeing you varnish the table with Spike didn't hurt me any more than...
Anya: That wasn't vengeance. It was solace.

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Buffy: I'm Buffy, the Vampire Slayer.
[she kills a demon guard]
Buffy: Anyone who's not having fun yet... follow me.

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Willow: [talking about Parker] Buffy, that is my friend, you need to think about not Parker. He's no good. There are men, better men, wherein the mind is stronger than the p***s.
Xander: Pfft. *Nothing can defeat the p***s.*
[Willow and Buffy stare at him]
Xander: [Xander looks embarassed] Too loud. Very unseemly.

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Willow: I've done some homework and found out the only solution is the final solution.
Xander: Nuke the school? I like that.

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Buffy: Wah! This doesn't make any sense!
Willow: Oh, sure it does, see... Oh, this doesn't make any sense.
Buffy: It's senseless!
Willow: It is, but, at least you know that, so, you're learning!

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Willow: Tell me a story.
Tara: OK. Um, once upon a time, there was this kitty.
[scoops up Miss Kitty Fantastico]
Tara: She was all alone and little and nobody wanted her.
Willow: This is a very upsetting story.

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Xander: Oh, no.
Willow: What?
Xander: No. How could we - So *stupid*!
Willow: Xander!
Xander: Our spell. Our resurrection spell worked like a magic charm. We brought you back to life, Buffy. Right where we left her.
Willow: Oh, God.
Xander: In her coffin.

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Glory: Tick-tock, Dreg. Tick-frickin-tock.

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Anya: For God's sake, Andrew, you've been in here for 30 minutes. What are you doing?
Andrew Wells: Entertaining and educating.
Anya: Why can't you just masturbate like the rest of us?

Xander: What's with the hand wave? You see that? Does that, like, mean something?

Willow: It's code. I think it breaks down to 'choo-choo!'

Anya: It probably means to follow him. That, or wait here for him.

Willow: [whispering] Ask him.

Xander: [yelling] Hey, Riley? What's the [hand gesture] all about?

Riley: It means yell real loud so the vampires who don't know we're coming will have a sporting chance.

Xander: See, now he's all mad and sarcastic.

Willow: It's because you were doing all that yelling, Mr. Stealthy-pants.
xd xd

Thats Just a Couple More.

Xander Quotes

"Those who can, do. Those who can't, laugh at those who can do."

"What kind of a girly name is 'Angel' anyway?"

"We're in the crime club. Which is kind of like the chess club, only with crime, and no chess."

Willow Quotes

"Don't be grumpy with her! Who among us can resist the allure of really funny math puns?"

"Well, when I'm with a boy I like, it's hard for me to say anything cool, or, or witty, or at all. I-I can usually make a few vowel sounds, and then I have to go away."

"So Angel is a good vampire! I mean, on a scale of one to ten, ten being someone who's killing and maiming every night, and one being someone who's not."

"I'm not ashamed. It's the computer age. Nerds are in. They're still in, right?"
Buffy Quotes

"You're a vampire. Oh, I'm sorry. Was that an offensive term? Should I say undead American?"

"I can beat up the demons until the cows come home... and then I can beat up the cows."

"Hi I'm Buffy..... and you are history."

Cordillia Quotes

"Willow, nice dress. Glad to know you've seen the softer side of Sears."

Anya Quotes

"Oh, that's very humorous. Make fun of the ex-demon. I can just hear you in private: 'I dislike that Anya. She's newly human and strangely literal.' "

Spike Quotes

"Aww, poor watcher. Did your life flash before your eyes? Cup of tea... cup of tea... cup of tea??!!"

Dawn Quotes

"That probably would've sounded more convincing if I wasn't wearing my yummy sushi pajamas."

Angelus: Passion. It lies in all of us. Sleeping... ...waiting... And though unwanted... ...unbidden... it will stir...open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us... guides us... Passion rules us all. And we obey. What other choice do we have?Passion is the source of our finest moments. The joy of love... the clarity of hatred... and the ecstasy of grief.It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion, maybe we'd know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow. Empty rooms, shuttered and dank... Without passion, we'd be truly dead.

Passion, Season 2, Episode 17

Xander
"I laugh in the face of danger, then I hide until it goes away"

I was going to put that one but you beat me to it. >.<

Spike:

I'm insane, what's his excuse?"

biggrin